Jesus
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(Redirected from Ultra Jesus)
The Sacred Host of Major Jesii
| Fear their wrath, and beware their confusing names. If you are confused about which one you want, it's probably Original Jesus. | |
| Original Jesus: Hey, hey, hey, it's the Jee Man himself; the one who started it all! | Don't care if it rains or freezes? You need Plastic Jesus |
| Jebus: Original Jesus's Crackhead Twin Half-Brother | Jesus was a brutha: Black Jesus |
| Jesus H. Christ: The 56th president of the US | Jesus saves (leftovers): Jesusware |
| Jesus Harold Christ: Cowboy and knife-fighter | Your own: Personal Jesus |
| Jesus Christ Sponge: Purge sin and clean your dishes! | ¿Qué?: Jesús |
| Jesus Hasselhoff: He's everywhere! | Pictorial retrospective of the Life and Times of: Lorem Ipsum Jesus |
| Ultra Jesus: All Jesii wrapped into one | Back with a vengeance! Zombie Jesus |
| Canadian Jesus: The Second Coming! | Rawr! Raptor Jesus |
| Paperclip Jesus: Lord of Office Supplies! | Not To Be Confused With Super-Gay Jesus: Gay Jesus |
The Sacred Host of Minor Jesii
| Fear their wrath, and beware their confusing names. If you are confused about which one you want to know to know to know to know it is it is yes. babs, it's probably Original Jesus. | ||
| Disco Jesus: Sabbath Night Fever | Invented economic theory: Supply-side Jesus | |
| Jesus of Nazareth: Singer and Songwriter | The Passion of the Jew: Kyle Broflovski | |
| Dark Jesus: Parallel Universe Jesus | Something musical: The Artist Formerly Known As Jesus | |
| Jesus Christ - Alcoholic: Just like daddy. | Member of the Carpenters: Jeez | |
| King Jesus: That's sire to you, boy | Semi-Jesus anthropormorphic personification:Messiah | |
| Jesus Fucking Christ: Working class hero and modern day sage | Moshed his way to Metal-heaven: Metal Jesus | |
| Super Jebus: Western Sydney pimp | He screams! He sells! His head EXPLODES! Billy Mays | |
| Jesus Marx: Illegal Commie Clone | Elemental Jesus: Je (element) | |
| Republican Jesus: Has a "W" sticker on his SUV | An alpha prototype Christ: Jesus 1.5a | |
| Hide and Go Jesus: The hardest one to find | That one in that band...Nightmare Cinema or something: Jesus LaBrie | |
| Jihad Jesus: جهاد عيسي | Raise one family and you will be a believer: Pet Jesus | |
| Stephen Colbert: Smiting Bears for in God's name | Patron Jesus of Crocodiles: Steve Irwin | |
| Ultimate Jesus: Designed by God to be the ultimate fighting machine | He's blonde, cultish, and believes in racial purity. No, it's not a Nazi, it's: Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints | |
| MC Jesus: The Jewish Rap Sensation | Blue in hue and bereft of beard too: Bizarro Jesus | |
| Sweet smoking Jesus: What would Jesus smoke? | Bow to ye savior or walk the plank ye scurvy dogs: Captain Jesus | |
| Accordion Jesus: Saves you from pop music. | But what If Jesus had lived in America | |
The So-So Company of Other Jesii
| Fear their wrath, and beware their contrived names. If you are still confused about which one you want, you were probably much better off with Original Jesus. | |
| Monster Jesii | |
|---|---|
| Jesusaurus Rex: The tyrant Jesus...lizard | Save yourself from Werejesus! |
| DinoJesus: Nazareth Park is frightening in the dark | And they said Jesus rode on a Mule...Nyah!:Llama Jesus |
| Attack of the 500 foot Jesus: Demolishing non-blessed skyscrapers -- New York, watch out! | When there's no more room in Heaven...: Zombie Jesus |
| Jesus-Sonic: Lord and Savior of Hedgehogs and Sega gaming. | The multidimensional, Scientological king of rodents: King of the Shrews |
| Munchie Jesii | |
| Jeez-Its: Orange, crunchy, and fun to eat! Get your own box. | Savour the Saviour: Cheese Jesus |
| Jesus Juice: An Energy Drink...that's Divine! | Oh, where have all the Jesii gone? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you: Hershey's Jesii and Creme |
| Jam Jesus: With a name like 'Jam Jesus', it has to be good. | Finally, something on a stick the whole family can enjoy!: Sweet Jesus on a Stick! |
| Mecha Jesii | |
| Cyborg Jesus: Retrofit by God after death | Domo arigato, señor: Robot Jesus |
| JESUS 9000: "Open the Pearly Gates, JESUS."
"I'm sorry, Dave, but I'm afraid I can't do that." | Gets your soul white, white, WHITE!: All-Purpose Jesus |
| Optijesus Prime: Saviour of the transformers | |
| Jesus Related Locations. | |
| Jesusland | Red States |
| Jesus Ocean | Israel |
The Abandoned Hallway of Unwanted Jesii
| Pity them, and feed them table scraps. If you are still confused about which one you want... then you're fucking retarded, bitch! | |
| Bad Jesii | |
|---|---|
| Latios: The False Messiah and proclaimed friend of Jesus. | All Jesii wrapped into no-one: Atheist Jesus |
| Prehistoric Jesus: The find of the century. | The Holiest of Holy Boy Bands:Premium Jesus |
| Et Jesus: 32-bit Protected Trinity | Disco Jesus' favorite band: The Bee-Jesus |
| Piss Christ: Ewww! | You crack my back, I'll crack yours: Chiropractor Jesus |
| Djesus: French Jesus | Irelands Most Popular Jesus: Bjesus |
| Evil Jesus: Careful of this Jesus | "Promoting God's chain of Churches: "McJesus |
| lol, Jesus: I don't get it either. | The real reason Christ was crucified: Jesus of Jerusalem |
| Morbus Jesus: The itchiest of the lot | And for anyone we've missed out on: Society of Jesus |
This is evident from his self harming, which can be seen on his hands and feet
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