UnBible: Genesis 1:1

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In the beginning, in a galaxy far far away, God created the heavens the Earth and Larry King[1], and it was good.
On the second day, God created all the other white humans, and it was good.[2]
On the third day, God created Black people and Wikipedia, and it was Horrible Mistake #1[3]
On the fourth day, not a fucking thing happened.
On the fifth day, God took a holy shit, and it felt good.[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]
On the sixth day, God created the PSP, and it was fucking fantastic.
On the seventh day, God created fish, dogs, fowl, margaritas, bunnies, hurricanes, rivers, elevators, atom bombs, heat-seeking missiles, snakes[4], elevators, Cajek, planes, the Wii, IHOP, the Jews, Gay people, HIV, marshmallows, emotions, Malaysian Smacking trees, the Moon, Saturn, Mr. T, cell phones, Sophia, kittens, drugs, boulders, AK-47s, and recycled paper......and it was good.


  1. Apologies to the extremely old Larry King.
  2. Until Britain was made. Apologies to Queen Mary I of England.
  3. Apologies to Jesse Jackson and Jimbo Wales.
  4. Apologies to Samuel L. Jackson.