UnDictionary:A

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[edit] A

[edit] A

  1. (Impersonal Pronoun) Doesn't really mean anything.
  2. (Television) Catch-phrase of The Fonz.
  3. (Education) The grade that you didn't receive for English in grade four, and thus the reason why your parents didn't let you go to The Great Aussie Bush Camp that summer. Y'know, your true love was at that camp that year. Had you met her, right now you'd both be happily married and working at Google like you always wanted. But no, I guess playing Super Mario Bros. 2 was much more important than writing that book report on Treasure Island. You even asked God to turn back time for one day so you could finish it, but you still couldn't remember the name of the main character when you placed that wretched piece of paper on the teacher's desk. God.
  4. The sole entry in the List of one letter words starting with A.

[edit] AAA

  1. Allied Atheist Alliance The true answer to great question, the most logical choice.
  2. Asinine Adverb Alliance "Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your asinine adverbs here"

[edit] AAAAA

  1. The Anti-Acronym Abuse Association of America.
  2. Alcoholics Anonymous Automobile Club
  3. A good name for your business if you want to push your ad to the top of the list in the classifieds.
  4. The sound one makes after challenging someone to identify the third word ending in "gry".

[edit] AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • (AAAAAAAAAAA) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[edit] ababayoo

The use of Ababayoo

[edit] Ababayooing

to ababayoo

[edit] Aardvark

  • A medium sized insectivore with protruding nasal implement. (I thought that was a bee?) But don't tell them that, it makes them get pissed. Also known as anteater. But anteater is politically incorrect.
  • Term used by redneck describing copulation with treestump

[edit] Abacus

[edit] Abalonely

  1. (Zoology) A variety of mollusc which is selfish, and thus finds it very difficult to come out of its shell and make friends.
  2. (Cuisine) A type of bologna that is very asocial.
  3. (Slang) Something you say when you are missing someone.

[edit] Abba

  1. A Swedish person in the years between 1972 and 1982.
  2. Term of abuse for three-legged banjo players.

[edit] Abbanjo

  1. Term for an instrument used by Swedish people in the years between 1972 and 1982. (see Abba)

[edit] Abbrv.

  • (Lang.) Abbrev. of Abbrev.
"I'm jst practng my abbrvs"

[edit] Abbreviation

  • (Language) To abridge a single word. Apprentice bridge-builders are often instructed to abridge a particularly long word as a demonstration of their skill.

[edit] Aberration

  • Colloquial expression for when someone exercises and expands one's "six-pack" so much that they begin to develop ring-pulls.

[edit] Abhorrent

[edit] Abodespotism

1. the rule of a household despot; the exercise of absolute authority over the household.
2. absolute power or control of all housemates; tyranny of shared living.(n) (eg. "While you live in my house you will abide by my rules.")
Origin: Abode + Despotism
Related forms: Ab⋅od⋅es⋅pot⋅ic  /nəsˈpɒtɪk/, Ab⋅od⋅esp⋅o⋅tis⋅tic, Ab⋅od⋅esp⋅o⋅tis⋅ti⋅cal, adjective Ab⋅od⋅esp⋅o⋅tist, noun
Note: Often confused with Nespotism.

[edit] Abomendation

[edit] Abominable

  • (Shoutism) The warning one gives to bystanders after he finds that several pounds of C4 have been fed to male livestock.

[edit] Aborigine

  • Indigenous Australian

[edit] Aboriginal

  • Not an Indian.
  • Not Original spelt wrong, either.

[edit] Abort

  • (Onomatopoeia) The spluttering noise made upon learning that one has become a parent against one's will. (-ion)

[edit] Abridge

  • (Architecture) A construction or natural feature designed for transporting one over the interesting details and intricacies, and take one directly to the point.

[edit] Abridge Too Far

  • 1.A literary edit that reduces the work in question to : 'Once Upon a time...the end'.
  • 2. When a man refuses to listen to a woman and keeps driving in the wrong direction.

[edit] Absent

  • Antonym of present. Thus, a temporal location that can only be reached by use of a Time Machine, such as a business meeting that has been rescheduled to take place before it starts.

[edit] Absinthe

  • (Parenting) A drink given to little children to make them sleep. 100% guaranteed.

[edit] Absolute Power

  • (Mathematics) Any real number of the form | xy | .
  • Lesbian with PMS

[edit] Absolut Power

  • The feeling of omnipotence instilled in one after imbibing too many Vodka Red Bulls.

[edit] Absolute Zero

  1. (Physics) What happens when you kill exactly 273 guys named Kelvin.
  2. (Astronomy) The spatial coordinates of the absolute centre of the universe, (0, 0, 0), which is located not within the centre of the Earth, as thought by the ancients, but in Brisbane, Australia - as indicated by the fact that everything in the universe is rushing away from it at great speed.
  3. (Mathematics) The only number that is more zero than zero and less like anything else than zero.

[edit] Absolut Zero

  • One who feels omnipotent after imbibing too many Vodka Red Bulls.

[edit] Absolve

  • (Theology) A method of cleaning an impure soul by dissolving it in acid for 24 millennia. See: Purgatory.

[edit] Abstinence

[edit] Abstinent

  1. Someone who believes that the best way to avoid creating life is to not have a life in the first place.
  2. A tenant who, having failed to pay the rent for the past year, refuses to leave his flat despite the fact that a complete stranger has been paying the rent for the past month and has in fact moved in with them.

[edit] Abstract

  • (Art) An art style in which a deficiency of skill is somehow compensated by a deficiency of clarity.

[edit] Absur

  • To use a rope to rappel or descend a vertical farce.
"...so then, gripping the rope, I absurd my way down the Colossus of Barbie."

[edit] Abundance

  • (Humour) Punchline to a very dumb joke about dancing cakes that will not be mentioned in this dictionary.

[edit] Academia

  • The condition of having unacceptably high levels of Louisiana in one's blood.

[edit] Accent

  • To scale or raise oneself above a rough phonetic obstacle.
"But in order to get there, I had to accent some steep glottal stops lined with jagged fricatives."

[edit] Ack

  • Shortened form of the expression "Ack-course it tastes ga-great, darling! In fact, I'm feeling full already! Where's the mouthwash?"
  • The noise one makes after deciding they don't (or didn't) like the taste of whatever is now half way down their gullet.

[edit] Acre

  1. A unit of distance slightly longer than one furlough - hence, the maximum distance travelled by a fleeing deserting soldier before his superiors commence pursuit.
  2. A foot which is in pain after walking such a distance.

[edit] Acronym

  1. A hideous, monstrous word created from the unholy process of binding and electrifying the severed heads of many more virtuous words.
  2. (Literature) Irish rat named 'Acr' escaped from government run brain modification laboratory.

[edit] Across

  1. (Manga) The Super One-Dimensional Fortress.
  2. A suburban street or road on which one may find crypts instead of houses. "Letters addressed to 15 Across tend to be quite cryptic to decipher."
  3. Part of the huge torture device known as the crossword.

[edit] Acrostic

  1. Cross (or, alternatively, angry) tick or flea.
  2. Unbeliever in the existence of crosswords.
  3. Navigation tool: a magnetically charged stick that always points to the left or right, no matter where you may be.
  4. The 350th Pokémon. Its signature attack is "Move Reshuffle", which rearranges the order of your Pokémon's attacks such that the first letters of each attack spell out a familiar four-letter word when read downward.


[edit] Active

To be moving, to be in the editing mode. To have sexual alertness.

[edit] Adage

  1. One can use a word or know its meaning, but never both.
  2. What happens when someone celebrates their birthday.

[edit] Adamant

  1. (Theology) Name of the very first ant in history.
  2. A variety of metal that is so strong, resilient and unyielding that it is completely impossible to craft or mould it into any functional shape. Thus, the only material that is both indestructible and completely useless for constructing armour. See also: Irony.

[edit] AD/HD

  • A small British Pop Group, attempting to follow the stylings of AC/DC. They were never a big success, which is mainly attributed to the fact that they were constantly... distracted... by...

[edit] Adolescence

  • The very first body odour produced in one's life.
"All of the boys around me had the whiff of adolescence about them."

[edit] Adore

  • It's over there. Now get the hell out of my house and STOP STALKING ME!

[edit] Adulterated Food

Meals prepared by couples who are sleeping with other people.

[edit] Adulteration

What grown ups do in a bedroom when the person they are with is married to someone else. Truthfully !

[edit] Adultery

  • A big tall building where all the grown-ups are locked up so they can't tell us off for having fun and doing whatever we want! This is the best summer ever!

[edit] Adultrickey

The art of telling children the truth whilst they can see you lie.

[edit] Advance

  • (Military) To claim ground and proceed toward enemy lines. The distance which one advances tends to be inversely proportional to the rank of the individual.

[edit] Adventure

  • An unforgettable life-changing odyssey which turns boys into men and commoners into heroes. The greatest of adventures awaits you on the continent, and can only be experienced by enlisting in the British Army today! Your country needs YOU!

[edit] Advice

  • A screw-based mechanical apparatus used for immobilising one's decision-making ability between the opposing surfaces of one's own judgement and someone else's.

[edit] Afford

$17 billion. The amount taken to buy a car manufacturer that cannot make a profit

[edit] Aforementioned

  • Synonym of the word said; invented to increase the number of bytes in articles, thus moving them several entries up in Special:Longpages.

[edit] Agape

  1. Nickname for an infamous Abhorrent image, depicting a gaping something.
  2. The expression on one's face when one unwittingly stumbles upon said image.
  3. A toothless grape trying to describe itself.

[edit] Agent Orange

A secret agent who always shaved off all his body hair and painted his body orange before going on a mission. Once accomplished - the expression was 'You've Been Killed'.

[edit] Aggregate

[edit] Aggry

  • The third word in the English language that ends in "gry". Yes. Yes it is. It's real. Yes. Of course. It's the third English word that ends in "gry". Yes. Yes. I don't know what it means. Does it matter what it means? All that matters is that it is real. Yes. Or else it wouldn't be here. Of course. Yes. You don't believe me?

[edit] Ahhhhhhhhhhh

  1. (Medicine) The correct response when you are being strangled by a mad doctor sticking a tongue depressor into your mouth.
  2. A phrase uttered post-coitus, indicating vast relief in finishing the awful, disgusting business and finally being able to get some sleep.
  3. Catch-phrase of incredibly relaxed pirates.

[edit] A là carte

  1. A Muslim wheelbarrow.

[edit] Alarmist

  1. One who prepares the way for a terrorist. First comes alarm, then fear (for which, strictly speaking, a fearist is required to postulate fearies), then terror.
  2. (Profession) A person who fits alarm systems to houses.

[edit] Alcoholism

[edit] Alcoholocaust

The act of drinking to such excesses, that it would rival the damage done by attempting to erase a type of human being from the face of the earth. Causes a badass hangover.

[edit] Al Fresco

An Italian opera singer who likes to sing naked outside the Vatican on Sundays.

[edit] Algebra

1) The X of Y that uses Z, A, and/or B to represent C and express D.

2) A black and white striped animal from Algeria

[edit] Algebraic K-Theory

  • (Very Hard Mathematics) A specialization in Algebraic Letter Theory that was invented before Algebraic L-Theory but after Algebraic J-Theory. The first example is the K-theory of the hard groups. The n-th K group of a hard group H is defined as Kn(H) = πn(BGL(H) − ) where (πn(P)) is the n-th slice of the pizza P and B is the favourite topping, e.g. A for anchovies. and GL is the generally lousy group of H and - is the Buckingham minus construction.

[edit] Algorithm

  • (Computo-Matics) A common operation in mathematical and scientific fields, an algorithm is performed by repeating a measurement or calculation over and over, until you finally get bored with the whole thing and call whatever intermediate result you may have found the correct answer. See: Slim Shady Algorithm.

[edit] Amazons

  • Female shoppers from Greek mythology who shunned the company of men except to manipulate them. Amazons were known for their French nail tips, their Tommy GoFigure jeans, their unrestrained tank tops, and their habit of shopping at malls in groups of a hundred or more and teasing all the men they could find. It is thought that many peoples who lived near the Amazons purposefully kept their borders weakly defended, though the exact reason for this remains unknown.

[edit] Ambidextrous

  1. (Culture) A Muslim woman who wears a tutu with her burka.
  2. (Complex Algebra) Someone who can do the hokey-pokey while licking a duck.

[edit] Ambisinistrous

Like Ambidextrous but you always start with the left hand first.

[edit] Ambivalence

A vehicle dispatched by a hospital to either pick up a victim of an accident - or run them over .

[edit] Ambulatory

  • The ability of a mute accident victim to perform a convincing impression or mime of an ambulance.

[edit] American Express

  • A credit card. It is common knowledge that it is not accepted at any location in the known universe. That doesn't stop any of the suckers who signed up for one asking at every shop they go into "Do you take American Express?", then acting offended and spending ten minutes huffing, muttering under their breath and struggling to find a genuine method of payment.......

[edit] Amnesia

  1. An imaginary illness where a person believes they forgot something they never really knew in the first place.
  2. A disease bored husbands get after reasonable period of marriage.
  3. Where am I?.

[edit] Amnumeral

  • Just like a pronumeral only lower in rank and with a reduced or no level of payment.

[edit] Ampersand

  1. What you find in your sandwiches when you go to the beach
  2. Ridiculously complicated symbol found at the beginning of sheet music.
  3. Holiday resort in England famous for the odd shaped crap on the beach.

[edit] Amputation

  • (Quackery) A simple, non-invasive cure for any minor aches or pains one suffers from. For instance, in a case involving heartache, the body is amputated at the base of the neck and again at the diaphragm and the middle section, commonly referred to as the thorax, is removed. The head and abdomen are then taped or glued together, if the patient so desires. The procedure for headaches is simpler, with the exception of migraines where the surgeon will, in most cases, remove the head with a file so as to cause the patient as little pain as possible.

[edit] Analytical Engine

  • (Prototechnology) The world's first computer. The Analytical Engine was built in 1799 by Sir Charles Babbage, the Royal Mad Scientist of England. When activated, it was the size of an SUV and required a human soul to run. It could only play chess (but kept putting the Knight on the wrong squares) and calculate whether the number 17 was prime, which people soon grew tired of. At the Queen's insistence, Babbage built a second model using the transplanted brain of his assistant Ada Lovelace. Unfortunately, she kept forgetting the rules for capturing en passant, and so the second machine was melted down into mining helmets.

[edit] Angry Pirate

  • (Sexuality) The act of ejaculating in your partner's eye and then immediately kicking them in the shin. The desired result is for your partner to have one eye closed, hopping on one leg and crying something resembling "ARGH!" in pain and anger. Hence, the Angry Pirate.

[edit] Ankle

  • (Sexual Repression) The favourite body part of sad English people with no lives and the Victorians who believed people could get sexual urges from even the bottom of a table leg and so invented obscenely long tablecloths to cover them and prevent embarrassment at dinner.

[edit] Anticontranonantidisneopseudoretrohypersesquipedalianism

  • To be against those who are against being against those who are against not renewing false backward use of words that are a foot and a half long. See: Anticontranonantidisneopsudeoretrohypersesquipedalianism.

[edit] Anti-profanity

  • It would be immeasurably appreciated if you would respectfully refrain from commencing the uttering of such profanity whilst you find yourself in such close proximity to my presence.

[edit] Antidisestablishmentarianism

  • To be against those who are against the establishment.

[edit] Antonym

  1. Opposite of synonym.
  2. Synonym of opposite.
  3. Compound word to describe a really cool dude in Outer Hungary; usage: "Hey Vlad, you're a complete antonym today, my friend". Derivation: Anton Ym was the late, well-loved and respected weatherman on the prime Outer Hungary news channel, the unpronounceable Kkáákdzzsrt-óHváásdká - he was struck by lightning in 1973.

[edit] Apartheid

  • Dutch for "hide and go seek".

[edit] Apocalypso

  • (Religion) Joyful music played by God's heavenly angelic jazz band on Judgement Day.

[edit] Apologetics

An Ancient World work out routine for philosophers. Plato and Aristotle wrote training manuals for this. Christians later took this up - but renamed it 'Christian Apologetics'. Meant the same thing .

[edit] Apoptosis

  • (Anthropomorphic Biology) Organised cell death. Triggered when inmates become bored of eating pop tarts and toast for breakfast every morning and commit suicide en masse.

[edit] Apostrophe's

  • An apostrophe i's a single inverted comma used in punctuation to signify a possessive: that bag i's her's or a plural: he ha's two brother's; three bus's came at once. There i's widespread confusion as to where it is appropriate to use an apostrophe. The simple answer is whenever you see a word ending in an 's', e.g. I spy seven sailor's, you shouldn't run with scissor's, the hardware store sell's video's, the planet Mar's. An apostrophe may not be used in abbreviations where it is substituted for deleted letter's, as when 'did not' become's 'didn't', and 'he is' become's 'he's'. It may however be used liberally where the presence of the letter 's' in a word creates doubt, as in these are the shoe's you ordered.

[edit] Apple

  • A FRUIT

NO ITS THE COMPANY THAT MAKES IPODS

[edit] Arachnidiocy

  • Extreme foolishness brought on by the sight of a spider.

[edit] Arboring

  • When a tree realises creatures from it's fun hole.

[edit] Arcade

  1. Any row of at least three shops, esp. in a tourist information leaflet.
  2. A large dark room full of gaming machines; the juvenile form of a casino (archaic).
  3. The name of a mode in a video game where one actually plays the game instead of unlocking different parts of the game, simulating a career, or listening to badly acted voice-overs explaining your character's motivation.

[edit] Arc de Triomphe

1) A monument built by the French to support their ultimate doomsday device, the Large Hadron Collider.

2) A French phrase often mis-translated as meaning the Arch of Victories

[edit] Arch nemesis

  • (Architecture) The enemy of curved architecture. The Champs d'Elysees is one of the most notable arch enemies, with a public feud against the Arc de Triomphe which has lasted over 120 years.

[edit] Archaic

  • Term used in dictionaries to indicate a word only used by people better read than you.
  • A shooting pain caused by prolonged periods of ark building.

[edit] Archer

  1. One who builds arches.
  2. One who claims to have built arches, but on closer inspection proves to have done nothing of the kind.

[edit] Arson

  • Like Prometheus of legend, arson is the act of spreading warm, wonderful fire to the possessions of those poor folk who need or deserve it.

[edit] Articles of clothing

  • The Articles of Clothing was a document written up in the early days of the American States. The Articles of Clothing were used as a catch-all in the battle of Grand Tetons.

[edit] Artificial insemination

  • It's like sex, only less fun. A cow explained AI to another thusly, "a man came to do it, straight up, no bull."

[edit] Ass

  • (Grade-School Biology) Some sort of horsey-type animal. Has lots of legs but can't run, and a very low IQ, less than half that of a wheelbarrow. The ass differentiates from the donkey in some way, but scientists can't figure out how.

[edit] Assassin

Killers who are encouraged to stab 'the ass' first to slow the victim down. In British English this is written as Arsassin. He is Russian and now plays for Arsenal Football Club.

[edit] Attack

  • An enthusiastic embrace from an obese elderly relative.

[edit] Atheist

  • (Philosopho-Biology) A person who dies permanently when they are killed. See also Theist, a person for whom death is a major inconvenience but not really all that big a deal in the long run.

[edit] Atom bashing

  • Slang term referring to Christian conservatives trying to disprove the pseudo-scientific theory of atomism.

[edit] Atrophy

[edit] Attempt

  • One step towards failure.
“Trying is only one step towards failure.”
~ Homer Simpson


[edit] Attendance

A simple military command instructing all soldiers to break it down and boogie at 22.00.

[edit] Aunt

  1. Bizarre old woman who for some reason can't comprehend "how much you've grown" despite the fact she hasn't seen you in 14 years.
  2. Posh insect living with relatives

[edit] Aural Sex

When you can hear the neighbours bonking their brains out at 6.00 in the evening before the children have gone to bed.


[edit] Australpatheticus

Australian men who try excuse their boorish sexism when 'Sheilas' are present.

[edit] Austria

1) Austria is a nation (or so it is rumoured) of central Europe famed for obnoxious accents, yodelling, and steroid-using, pea-brained Republicans who are elected Governors of California. The other three known Austrians all insist that their country has no kangaroos.

2) The home of flightless birds and legless bees.

[edit] Autobiography

[edit] Autograph

  • The word a person writes to indicate that they have been somehow involved with the document in question. Any script, typeface or method of writing can be used, provided that it is illegible and looks like a graph of something being run over by an automobile.

[edit] Aw

  • Awwww......

[edit] Awe

  • Awwwwe......

[edit] Awesome

  1. Some more awwwwe......
  2. See egoraptor

[edit] Ax

An American Ax that has already been used to chop up your mom.

[edit] Axe

  • Axe an axe what an axe is. But if you don't have an axe to axe what an axe is, then an axe is someone to axe what an axe is.

[edit] Axle

  • An axle is a rod put between to wheel to let the wheel move something. A wheel without an axle is just a circle. And a circle is just lame.

[edit] Axle of Evil

A motoring term that means your suspension has been buggered by a conspiracy hatched in ...[fill out your favourite hate countries/organisations].

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