UnNews:Actor Michael Richards Apologizes for Racial Remarks

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21 November 2006

Richards says "talk to the hand nigga!!!"

LOS ANGELES - Comedic actor and freelance comedian Michael Richards appeared on David Letterman's Late Night show last night and said that black people could kiss his "pasty white ass," and said he was sorry for not clarifying the racist remarks he made in front of a sparse crowd Friday night in Hollywood, California.

One of the niggas in the audience that night.

Richards explained, "I made a comment about ignorant white crackers having half a clue, and maybe that wasn't properly understood. What I meant to say was that 50 years ago if a fat ignorant nigga interrupted a white man's speech, his dick would have been nailed to a tree if he actually had one to begin with."

Richards' lawyer after being told about his racist comments

"I've been working hard, making the world a better place," he explained. "I send body armor and cookies to the troops in Iraq, I still have three sisters I haven't raped yet, and I'm this close to finding a huge raging clue."

Letterman then asked Richards if he would be presenting a much formal apology to the people he directed his slurs towards. Richards replied, "I never go to the trailer park if I can help it, so, fuck no."