UnNews:Al Qaeda's number Two Operative in Iraq Flees Moon, Captured in Iraq

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3 September 2006

"The last known image of D2 before incarceration

BAGDHAD, Iraq (WTF) -- al Qaeda's number two operative on the Moon, Hamed Juma D2, was captured today after landing in the deserts of Iraq from a jettisoned escape pod. The U.S. military and Iraq's national security advisor blame a stoned sentry officer on a nearby attack cruiser for not noticing the pod.

"I swear man, it contained no human life, it was probably a malfunction...*unitelligent gibberish*" D2 did get several bionic enhancements including a set of robotic treadmills and an electric arm that came out of his chest, but the blame was conveniently placed on the sentry, who is currently busy running the spice mines on Kessel for 450 parsecs of community service.

D2 was blamed for the deliberate attack on the Ewok mosque in Iraq, just miles away from the set of the Mos Eisley Cantina.

"This is impossible", replies Sergeant Major Kenobi. "Only Imperial SWAT commandos could make marks that precise". This has been proven false, as commandos only hit about 2 out of 500 shots accurately.

President Bush is ecstatic about the capture.

"*monkey noises*" .....yeah he's real excited folks, the only human speech we could get out of him was "nucular", which has nothing whatever to do with this article.

D2 is now in custody and is scheduled for extermination by Dalek in the next heart-wrenching season of Dr. Who.