UnNews:Alternative medicine finds cancer cure

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20 January 2010

The Hanging Limes From Big Hooks Piercing Your Flesh cure for arthritis and cancer.

SEATTLE, Washington -- Researchers at John Bastyr College of Naturopathic Medicine have proven their new cancer cure as, "67% effective in causing remission and shrinkage of cancerous tumors", according to Consuela Caveat, director of the university's college of Herbal Sciences.

"It's also been shown effective in curing most types of arthritis," said Dr. Thaddeus Humidor, chiropractor and chief astrologer at the university.

The acceptance of this new kind of science by established physicians and scientists goes a long way toward validating alternative cures in the eyes of Americans. "We hope to get people excited about natural medicine in America, like the Germans love Homeopathy," continued Dr. Humidor

"The Hanging Limes From Big Hooks Piercing Your Flesh cure for arthritis and cancer has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration for testing at dozens of research hospitals throughout the United States and Turkmenistan, and will be widely available by the beginning of next year", according to FDA spokesperson Rolanda Cyclia

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