UnNews:America uneasy about Queen's 16 year visit
3 May 2007
Washington, DC -- The US Captial was in a tizzy today on the eve of British Queen Elizabeth II royal visit, that is scheduled to last for 16 years. While UK sources could not confirm why the monarch would be staying for such a lengthy time, nor could they allude to what she'd be doing during the course of over one and half decades, nor were they able to speculate exactly where she'd be staying.
While some loyal, beef eating, American beer drinking Americans are concerned about the lengthy royal vacation, the Bush Administration is enthralled with the idea of hosting Britain's reigning monarch.
White House spokesman and former UnNews laundry deliveryman, Tony Snow, stated that the Commander in Chief was not threatened by the English Queen's extended sojourn. "I speak for the President when I say that we whole-heartedly welcome her majesty Queen Elizabeth the second. The President and the entire White House staff feels that it's time for America to have the solid autocratic leadership that only a monarchy can provide. We're overjoyed at the prospect of the British crown leading it's former colonies, us, through the 21st century."
Vanity Fair typist and overall jerk, Christopher Hitchens, claims he foresaw the coming of this leadership change years ago. "It's been clear from the beginning that the United States as it's own country was doomed due to the lack of royal authority. Letting any nincompoop, be he from some southern backwards oil rich state or from some southern backwards inbred laden state, run a City Hall, let alone a supposed World super power... Well it's no wonder that we've experienced a myriad of world crises. Someone needs to teach this guy a lesson big time dammit"
UnNews Senior Governing Expert and popular former California Governor, Gray Davis, estimates that Americans can look forward to taxation without all that unnecessary representation and Absolutely Fabulous re-runs.