UnNews:Asia

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Asian UnNews

• 2008 deemed "year of the rat" because rats will be the only animals left alive on Earth by year's end
• Angry Swede gets bronze medal, says he wants gold
• Apocalypse-expecting cultists come out from cave
• BBC news frontpage hacked by hacker!
• Billie Joe Armstrong claims he brought sexy back. He is now sueing Justin Timberlake for false claims of bringing sexy back.
• Bollywood Starlet keen to have Cyclone named after her
• Boy, 4, wins tropical island
• Burma wants guns to combat Cyclone
• Bush Launches War on Quakes
• Bush weighs options for third member to the Axis of Evil
• CIA Agents Supplying Viagra to Afghan Warlords
• Cheney destroys satellite in space
• China's 17th National Party Congress declares it is now the 'real Taiwan'
• China Hacks and takes over BitTorrent web sites
• China Losing Taste for Debt From the U.S.
• China Wants More Porn
• China bans dairy product imports
• China led world executions in 2007
• China outlaws reincarnation, Tibetan monks just found out.
• China plans Cultural Revolution alongside 2008 Olympic Games
• China poisons everybody else in 2008 Olympics, still isn't caught
• China to kill all citizens in pre-Olympic clean-up
• Chinese "overjoyed" to be learning about capitalism
• Chinese National Party Congress passes record number of resolutions
• Chinese manufacturers substitute glycerine for antifreeze
• Chuckle Brothers in Iraq
• Cocaine 'no boost in the morning'
• Computer virus celebrates 4th birthday
• Contaminated Chinese lead recalled
• DEAR LEADER is great
• Dachshund Consumption Declines
• Dalai Lama declares fatsuassu cause of poopoonogo
• Daniel Craig Karate-Chops a Pirated DVD Peddler after receiving pirated Casino Royale DVD in China
• Dear Leader is great
• Developing and Underdeveloped Nations do not care about the environment
• Dick Cheney eats the Prime Minister Tony Blair
• Dictators hail Jewish peace plan
• Direct China-Taiwan fights begin
• Drinking Alcohol Causes Intoxication
• Dullsville featured on Wikipedia's Main Page
• Economists declare Asia fucking rules!
• Eloi continue search for mysterious device
• Fashion: Abercrombie out, Garbage In!
• For they cried "Shoot Yu Fuk up"
• Foreign film-makers happy with gender-segregation in malaysian state
• Game developer Capcom fails in plan to kill all black people
• George Bush meets Pope Benedict for the first time
• George W. Bush and Japanese Prime Minister invent a new secret hand-shake
• Giant lions bring big luck for Chinese New Year
• Grandmother, 96 is "kingpin of crime"
• Hannah Monatana Unmasked as Russian Spy
• Harbhajan Singh racially abuses clown
• Hello Kitty Cartel bombs a School Bus
• Horse bites off man's testicle
• Hot free ass porn now taxed by Congress
• Hundreds watch public execution, great time had by all
• Hypnotised student joins Taliban
• Hyrdomethodilliumodyl
• IOC announces 'lack of dope' in 2008 Olympics
• In space, no one can hear the call to prayer
• India declares war on Richard Gere
• Indian man marries dog
• Irresponsible Hecklers urge on hesitant busker
• J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8!
• Jade Goody to be UN ambassador for Peace
• Japan launch really secret satellite
• Japanese Robot-babies
• Japanese girls heat up the Winter
• Japanese to harpoon fat people instead of whales in effort to combat growing obesity
• Japenese children under the age of 8 smarter than average American college student
• Jesus Christ Fucks someone to Death
• Jet Li attacks Chinese film censors
• Kasparov jailed for beating Putin at chess
• Kevin Rudd criticizes the Fire Nation
• Kim Jong Il thinks a 6-party talk is a kegger
• King of Thailand bans language
• Knut sends message to all other cute bears: SCREW OFF!
• Koreans plan to take over Earth
• Latest Newspoll results suggest Howard is even lagging behind the worm
• Lost Leg Legal Battle
• Mad Scientists Prepare to Activate Doomsday Device
• Malaysian forms peculiar analogies
• Man Killed By Hogging Karaoke
• Man eats world’s bitterest lemon to protest Olympics…
• Man misses flight
• McDonald's Announces Intention to Become A Sovereign Nation
• Melbourne tabloid cites boredom as cause of hypocrisy
• Misfired Nuke
• Mobilized methane moves motors
• Mother Teresa did not believe in God
• Mother cuts allowance
• Mr. Potato Head busted
• N.Korea opens pizzeria
• NFL Star Sucks -- Indicted
• Naomi Campbell begins sentence
• North Korea "To Deliver Details of Nuclear Capability"
• North Korea Sends Yuletide Warning to North Pole
• North Korea shuts down key cookie factory
• Nothing surprises scientists
• Nuclear blast fails to settle Kim Jong Il's hair
• Obama declares a new era of cooperation with China
• Obama promptly nukes North Korea
• Oddball Medical Measurement
• Official: Bears Do Sh*t in the Woods!
• Oh my God, Russia killed Kenny, you bastards!
• Olympic Torch Recalled
• Olympics to take place in Tibetan battle grounds "for an added thrill"
• Open season on sad clowns begins
• Orginal X-Box was the Weapons of mass destruction
• Pakistani man sells wife's soul to buy tractor
• Pakistani protesters burn effigy of themselves.
• Panda inspires fight against Chinese Government censorship
• Paralympics race leaves all contestants disabled for life
• Pat Robertson makes plans to run for God
• Phelps found to be hax0ring the Olympics
• Pokémon found in Indonesia
• Pope Mr Benedict Ratzinger XVI goes head to head with the Malaysian government
• Pope hits out at consumer culture, prefers time when Church owned everything
• Pope shown to be fraud in Sydney
• President places price freeze on chocolate commodities
• Pricasso paints with penis
• Putin's surprise nomination shocks Indonesia
• Revelations about Panda Genetics
• Russell Brand:"I Slept With Thatcher's Granddaughter."
• Russia plants flag at North Pole, launches real estate boom
• Russian man blows self up after train inspectors notice porn magazines
• Sacred Bull bites back
• Saddam's favourite teddy to be auctioned
• Samoan ruler not assassinated, unimportant
• Santa Claus blamed for recession, nuked by North Korea, becomes pirate
• Santa replies to children's letters; Truth revealed
• Scientist prove that this is NOT Sparta(aaaaaaaaa)!
• Second Coming of Anna Nicole Smith not expected anytime soon
• Shambo the Sacred Bull must Perform, Court Rules
• Socceroos lose to Iraq in 'Asian' cup
• Some video game released; Everyone gives rat's ass
• Someone dies
• Spain suspended after row between powers
• Spanish Olympic Basketball Team disqualified for being 'too asian'
• State of Emergency declared in Pakistan, all political assassinations to be suspended
• Stolen Swimming Pool
• Subliminal messaging concealed in Wikipedia
• Summer Travel Guide
• Syrian IT specialist 'caught' a vicious virus
• Taliban 214, NATO 244 in ongoing Battlefield:Afganistan promotional match
• Taliban shoots Cheney
• Taliban vows to wipe out literacy in our lifetimes
• Tata introduces the world's cheapest car
• Terrorists surrender to American might
• Text Messaging "to replace the police".
• Thai police hunt Khun Gort
• The Great Wall of China continues to grow
• Thousands of Dancers Jailed After Opening Ceremony
• Tiger Woods out for rest of 08; cites lack of challangers
• ToiletBreak: Sequel to PrisonBreak
• Turkey's Founder a "Total Asshole"
• Uncyclopedia cabinet tightens visa policy for all Malaysian government workers from the Department of Homeland Security
• United States invasion of Iran imminent
• Universe 2.0 could be in the works
• Vietnam to Change Name of Currency
• We're all gonna die!
• West could have place in Afghan politics: Taliban
• Wii Remotes Begin To Rape Children
• Winter Canceled to Save on Warming and Cooling Costs.
• Wood cut-out sold for $58,000
• Worldwide Panic as Uncyclopedia is "down for maintenance"
• Worldwide crime rate quadruples during Earth Hour
• Zombies Attack US President