UnNews:Chihuahua legislature calls for ban of video game

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

20 February 2011

Rep. Boone Salmon often travels with both his stenographer and his legislative assistant.

CIUDAD JUÁREZ, México -- The Chihuahua state legislature has called on the Mexican government to ban a new video game that gives the impression that this violent northern city is violent.

"Call of Juárez: The Cartel" is a shoot-'em-up video game based on drug-cartel gunfights in Ciudad Juárez, a border city in the state of Chihuahua. Juárez is essentially the neighborhood of El Paso, Texas with open fires in 50-gallon drums instead of working street lights. The cover of the game, due out this summer, shows three heavily armed characters. To make matters worse, one is smoking, and that never happens in México. The game's slogan is, "Take justice into your own hands."

Rep. Ricardo Boone Salmon (PRI-Juárez) said, "Exposing children to this kind of image means they will grown up with the wrong kind of values." He says children should stay in school, where they learn the right values, such as how to "duck and cover" if a gangland firefight breaks out in the classroom.

Maintaining the reputation of Juárez is a full-time job for the Chihuahua state legislature, as tourism is largely driven by floor shows involving beasts of burden. About 6,000 people died in gang-related violence in the last two years. Last year, a cosmetics company pulled a line of ghostly makeup inspired by deaths of women in the city. And in 2004, the mayor called for a boycott of the song The Women of Juárez by pop heroes Los Tigres del Norte, which blasted lawmen for failing to solve the murders. Fortunately, the pop group later switched to the reggaeton genre and now sings admiring raps about the murder of women.