UnNews:Harry Potter won't go to Iraq, and Ministry of Magic is divided by the decision

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19 May 2008

Don't be that guy!

HOGWARTS, UK -- The decision by the Ministry of Magic to not deploy Harry Potter to Iraq as had been planned for the past several months was debated on talk radio, the Internet and the Slytherin kiddie pool on Thursday. While originally everyone thought it was a smashing idea to send the magic world's prodigal son to finally earn his keep, the ministry reversed it's judgement as members of Barack Obama's Al Qaeda, a muggle terrorist organization had threatened to pants Mr. Potter and his yunick friend, Ron Weasley.

Draco was rejected for military duty after outing himself on Wizard's Quarterly.

While we all know that the war in Iraq is by far the most just war in the history of man. We also can't allow the country's greatest wizard be humiliated by these muggle scum, even if he is a bit of a git.” said Maya Godfrey, a tarot card reader at the Royal United Mystic Services Institute, a London-based think-tank.