UnNews:Interview with J.K Rowling

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JUNE 29 2007- We have caught up to author of the famous Harry Potter series, and asked her for an interview. She has agreed and we discussed her new book coming out, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. The interview is as follows in the following transcript:

Harry sucks at Baseball, but he thinks he owns.

FE: Hello there Joanne-

JK: (Screams)MY GOD, MUM! I SWEAR I WASN'T AT THAT PARTY!! (Sees me)

FE: ...

JK: (sighs with relief)My god... (Points(rude...(Plus she said gods name in VAIN))) ...Don't you EVER call me that again.

FE: ...Let's just get to the questions.

JK (Sighs again): Okay, yes, lets.

FE: Okay, so first, we know that you have Harry Potter on cassete, for all the lazy people out there, right?

JK: Yes.

FE: Well, when are you going to make music videos for them?

JK: ...Um, they're not songs, they're the book on cassete.

FE: What are you talking about, I get in my car and rock out to Harry all day.

JK: ...Could we please move on?

FE: Yeah, okay. There, of course, have been many rumors that Harry is going to kick the bucket in this one, is this true??

JK: I can't tell you that it'll ruin the book.

FE: ...Well if he did die, then how would you do that? I mean surely you wouldn't go "tehn everyone wuz leik, o crap, hez ded", you've got to do something meaningful, riight?

JK: I guess so.

FE: Kay. I've heard that you'll be ending the satrical series with the word "Scar".

JK: Well now, thats kind (Stressess "kind") of true.

FE: O my now whatever do you mean

Yeah, she was totally checking me out. The chair's more of my type, though.

JK: Um, actually that's a typo (forced laugh)

FE: What do you mean?

JK: Eh, perhaps it's best if I just read it to you.

FE: (smiles with excitment) O BOY!. (We all gather criss-cross apple-sauce around her giggling with glee like.)

JK: Here it is:

Harry was didn't know what to do. The bodies of Voldemorts followers surrounded him, with Voldemort was standing next to his car, and staring straight at him, with his wand pointing straight at Harrys head. Harry looked hopelessly at his broken wand, a tear ran down his dirty, bruised face, his scar started burning. "No one around to save you now...", taunted Voldemort. Suddenly he lowered his wand. Maybe if I could just charge fast enough, thought Harry, I might just be able to steal his wand. He looked to see Voldemort slowly reaching up to remove his darkened hood. Harry charged. He ran as fast as he could, the warmness of sweat sweeped the dust and burnt marks off his face. He was almost there, Voldemort panicked and quickly lifted up his hood. Harry found himself running into the face of Ashton Kutcher who screamed, "YOU GOT PUNK'D!!!", then driving off in the sunset, leaving Harry confused, in hi scar.

So as you can see, "scar" is just a typo.

FE(Stares in amazement): Wow, that was simply fantastic. Ties up a lot of lose ends, it does. Hey, I've got an idea! Want to come up with "Scar" endings for it? I'll start. Hermonie than said to Harry "I want to lick you to your toes from your scar"

Awkward Silence

FE: Yeah... Nevermind. So, I guess now we'll have to discuss...the actual book...(sigh of grief)

JK (Phone rings): Hang on. (Answering it) Hello? Yes, of course I'll let you interview me since your way more richer and important. Okay. (To me) I'll be right back.

FE: Okay. (JK leaves, I stare at her chair.)

SEVERAL MINUTES LATER

FE: I wonder when she'll get back. (Stares at wrist hoping it'll tell me the time. JKs Chair looks at me. I look back.) Hi there, how are you?

JKC: ...

FE: That's good. So, how do you enjoy being sat on? Is it a nice job? Do you get a decent pay?

JKC: ...

FE: I see... What do you think of JKs buns? Is it a pretty big crack?

JKC: ... (Though I swear I heard a faint "HELLZ YEH")

ABOUT AN HALF AN HOUR LATER

FE: You know, your silence makes you oddly attractive...

JK ENTERS

FE: (suprised) Oh sh- um, hi Jo.

JK: Hi

FE: Uh, so, now tell me: Who was your inspiration for this series?

JK: Brian Flemming.

FE: Okay... So, what advice do you have for your readers who are aspiring authors?

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