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Hillary Clinton To Become Chairman Of The U.S. Joint Chiefs Of Staff

WASHINGTON (UP) Barack Obama has just announced that Hillary Clinton will be the new Chairman of the U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff. She will now become the first woman to ever hold this position and by law is now the highest ranking military officer overall in the United States Armed Forces, as well as the principal military adviser to the incoming President of the United States, Barack Obama.

"I chose Hillary because she's always been a tenacious fighter, is highly organized and is just the kind of maverick that this administration needs" said Obama after making the announcement at 12:00pm Easter Time.
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RBS redundancies

MANAGERS at the Royal Bank of Scotland have announced a cut of three-thousand jobs to pay for parties and unofficial functions amongst key players on the managing board.

The move comes as the bank announced severe difficulty in the current economic climate, “we need to make these cuts to save money and help us through the economic downturn” says a bank spokesperson.

Last month the board members and mangers did without their favorite brands of wine and some even reported hiring out Jaguar cars to avoid exclusion and job losses; this adding to the economic strain with the government often proving tight fisted on bail outs for them.
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Happy grandmother accidentally becomes four-star general

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A casual staff member at the Pentagon was yesterday mistakenly awarded the rank of four-star General while completing a relief cleaning shift. Ann E. Dunwoody (55) of Montgomery County, Maryland, was called in to cover for a colleague's shift at the Pentagon, where she works as a cleaner. While vacuuming a small closet on the second floor of the B-ring (North face), Dunwoody came across a dusty but tidy Lieutenant-General's uniform, folded into a small cake box.
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