UnNews:Mambo Zulu again tops Forbes poor list

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22 September 2011

Mambo Zulu, once again Forbes ‘world’s poorest' winner, is now 7 years old

KWA-ZULU-NATAL, South Africa -- Since making UnNews headlines in March 2010 Mambo Zulu has again topped the Forbes list of World’s poorest people for 2011.

Zulu held a steady lead despite his efforts to raise money from Zebra herding as an indentured slave. In fact he had an "o" deducted from his name and increased his debt now to sacrifice 3,010 zebras to the god Unkulunkulu in repayment of a 1,701-year-old debt-of-honor to the Tutsi Clan.

Mean while, on the other end of the spectrum, new IMF Managing Director Christine Lagarde has taken the lead as the world’s richest person over Mexican drug lord, El Chapo, who has slowly gained power as cartels fall. Chapo is now at number two near the top of the Forbes rich list.

With assistance of the American CIA in trading arms for drugs El Chapo’s wealth grew by $3 zillion to $59 zillion, boosted by his vicious efforts as the retail value of bloody murder and illegal activities steadily rises.

Last years symbolic leaders, Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, who continued giving their wealth to good causes such as 3rd world eugenics and forced inoculations, dropped $11 trillion to $39 trillion each as the intrinsic worth and importance of human life decreased.

Fellow investor George Soros, who has finally agreed to be named on the list, entered the top 10, with $22 trillion after having received an illegal transfer of digital SDRs from the Federal Reserve Feit Printing Works.

All three investors have been notable in their giving (only) vocal backing to radical middle-of-the-road New World Order policies for the global economy.

The Hungarian-born Mr. Soros is a major donor to the Council on Foreign Relations, and outside the US he sponsors "The Rome Club" that seeks to promote designer-poverty and resulting one world government.

Zulu subsequently gave his approval over the summer to finally taxing high-earning Africans, in particular an increase in the tax rate on capital gains that he claimed allowed the Zebras he herded to eat better food than him. President Obama happily took up the idea in his latest job creation proposal, naming the proposal the "Zulu Rule", much to the consternation of Mambo, who doesn’t even own the copyright to his name.

Trailing Zulu on the poor list are brothers Zamjuu and Dooookka (no last name) - joint debtors - who owe $1.10 to someone they have never even heard of and stand no chance of ever meeting, according to Forbes magazine.

Another poor African – former Libyan dictator Pvt. Muammar Gaddhafi - has climbed into the top 10 poor list after losing has arse to NATO and their Al Qaeda mercenaries. And in a related distinction former football star and double-murderer OJ Simpson, who owes his soul to Beelzebub - remains the poorest person in the US prison system.

As usual, the world's real richest tycoons, who jointly own the Forbes list, Hollywood, and virtually all the mass media, remained conspicuously anonymous, like always.