UnNews:Mel Gibson to decide 'soon' on who to insult next

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4 July 2010

Thinking deeply on who to throw shit at next.

LOST ANGELES, California -- American born Australian actor Mel Gibson has said he will 'soon decide' who to insult next in his long term plan to piss off everyone around the world.

The star of films like Mad Max, Lethal Weapon, Anti-Semitic Outburst Against Traffic Cops and My ex-Girlfriend Deserves To Be Black Gangsta Raped is apparently considering a new film project but has yet to decide on the best target next.

The controversial actor has not been shy when it comes to provoking a reaction amongst his audiences. His film Braveheart helped to inspire millions of Scots to fight against the English domination of their country and the rise of the tennis playing Andy Murray as a future tartan Che Guevara. Other films like The Patriot successfully reminded Americans that their War of Independence against the brutal British army was a just war and King George III was the Hitler of the 18th Century. Gibson's other movies have had similarly affected people watching from 'nails and whipping' extravaganza The Passion of Christ (a Roman-Jewish conspiracy to kill the Messiah) and Apocalypto, a film that lovingly recreated the rituals and realities behind human sacrifice.

So far Gibson hasn't quite let on who he wants to stick his creative boot into next. However, it's now expected to be Russia after recent reports that he had allegedly assaulted his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. Gibson may hope to get his own back on her and the Russian people by suggesting that their country is a nest of spies, neo-marxist murdering mobsters or card carrying members of the Ivan the Terrible fan club, even though Oksana was born in Kiev which is now the capital of Ukraine. He then may hope the Americans will forgive his intemperate outbursts in the safe knowledge that at least when it comes to good old Cold War paranoia, 'good old Mel' is on the right side of the patriotic flag wavers.