UnNews:North Korea premier apologizes for starvation

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

11 February 2010

Korean citizens and cities protest the worthless new money by turning off their lights for a recent evening.

SEOUL, South Korea -- North Korea's premier offered a rare public apology after the country's recent currency revamp triggered starvation, a South Korean newspaper reported Thursday.

In late November, the North ordered citizens to turn in old bills for new, redenominated currency. However, the measure, which rendered everyone's money worthless, unexpectedly led to people dying of hunger in the country's northeast.

On Friday, Premier Kim Yong Il apologized for the aftermath, the South Korean newspaper Chosun Ilbo reported, citing an unidentified source. "I sincerely apologize for the lack of sufficient preparation," Kim read from a statement, implying there is a right way to render the nation's money worthless.

Kim added that the newly issued currency is actually pretty tasty, and more nutritious than eating tree bark, another noted peasant response to government reforms.

South Korea's Unification Ministry couldn't confirm the published report. But a spokeswoman said it would be "rare" for a top North Korean official to apologize for anything. Lee Jong-joo said the North might next apologize for its multi-generational personality cult, exporting terrorism, and shooting missiles over Japan.