UnNews:Old Faithful quits

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13 March 2010

Old Faithful before quitting

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, Wyoming -- The renowned “Old Faithful” geyser has called it quits after centuries of reliably calibrating all the clocks in the Western United States.

Park Rangers here said, “It’s just the strangest thing that our geyser has gone off - and we have no idea how or why!” The Rangers also reported other strange things had happened, such as the ‘bulge’. "The bulge, yeah, well, it’s nothing really!" A Park Ranger explained. "You see, this whole park is sitting on top of the world’s largest lava cauldron, and the entire thing has started to bulge about 1 meter per day ever since Old Faithful quit.”

This brought to mind the recent movie, 2012 by Roland Emmerich, in which Yellow Stone Park was shown for what it is, viz., the world’s most dangerous super-volcano, with enough force to make "Krakatoa" sound like a mere cap gun. When Krakatoa blew on August 27th, 1883 it was heard around the World, but the Yellowstone super-volcano has the potential to be so loud that it might be heard on the Moon.

When asked how the Rangers plan on restarting Old Faithful, one replied. “The fact is we have no idea what to do. Because we have no idea how it got started in the first place!”

“But what about the bulge?” - the Rangers were quired. “Don’t you worry about that bulge. Because no body will pay money to see it. The only moneymaker was Old Faithful!" - the Rangers concluded. Immediately thereafter the Park Rangers drove out of the park speeding, as if their lives depended on it.