UnNews:Pregnant slut of 13 is one woman baby factory

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

30 July 2009

Theresa Winters

Theresa Winters, known by her nickname "Fat Slut," has vowed to keep having babies until Luton Borough County lets her keep one (Yes, I thought that in Luton it would count as 'Elaborate Kidnapping by a Black/Mexican guy'). Because of her neglect/attempt to eat her first two children, the council took her children from her,claiming she was a danger to her children (No fucking shit, sherlock). That's when she told her husband that she was going to make babies until the council let her keep one (Don't say "cha-ching" yet, guys...). Most of these were taken away at birth, which probably scared the bollocks out of the midwife as a ninja (Yes, there are ninjas in Luton these days) drops out of fuck all to nick a fat chick's baby (Sounds like the next National Lampoon plot...).

Twelve pregnancies and one boyfriend with nuts as dry as the Queen's pussy later and still no babies. Theresa must be getting hungry. In a vain attempt to let her 14th child become Sunday dinner, Theresa sent some bullshit letter to the council which was ignored because nobody really gives a fuck, apart from me, who used the front page of the newspaper to waste 10 minutes, which let's face it, has been about as funny as Sarah Silverman on a bender. Well, I seem to have deviated from the point so I guess I'll end this with a message to you, Mr. Fat Chick's boyfriend. Get some ointment for your nuts. Godspeed.