6 August 2006
CAMBRIDGE, MA -- The Uncyclopedia Consortium today has declared a new Acronym Extension Program and new bureacracy. In a surprise announcement by Chron on the final day of the UncycloMania conference, he announced a new UDAEP (Uncyclopedia Declared Acronym Extension Program), in which all existing acronyms would retroactively be asked to extend their initials to at least five letters, in order to replace namespace conflicts, and to ease the transition into the New Wiki Century. VFD will immediately be moved to Vote For Deleting An Article Which Is Not Entirely Good, But We Need To Delete It Because We Are Dirty Deletionist Pigs (VFDAAWINEGBWNTDIBWADDP). When questioned about the legality, causality, bias, or practicality of the program, Chron referred reporters to the new Uncyclopedia Pre-Preliminary-Planning-Mediation-Arbitration Committee, which will be responsible for reporters which want to talk to someone important, but failed to actually do so.
Effective immediately, all discussion with users of any actual power must pass through:
- The Low Council
- The Pre-Medium Council
- The Medium Council
- The XXL Council
- A pit of sharks with lasers mounted on their heads
- A brick wall
- The preli---AAAAAAAGH!!!!
(While attempting to reach Chron for additional comment, the original reporter on this story was torn to shreds by sharks with lasers on their heads.)