January 10: Reefer Madness day
- 370 BC - Plato almost chokes after inhaling a dandelion, then writes the dialogue Clouds.
- 75 CE - John The Baptist makes a comeback and tours europe with buddha.
- 1810 - Napoleon divorces Empress Joséphine, calling her "a total fucking harpie".
- 1841 - Low on firewood, ropes made from Hemp are burned by Mormon pilgrims in Utah. That night, visions from heaven assail them.
- 1968 - Napalm dropped on a Vietnamese Hemp field. This instigates the largest attack of the munchies known to man.
- 1979 - Pac-Man is admitted to rehab after a white pellet addiction. "Gotta run from teh gh0sts!!!1!one" - Pac-Man
- 1979 - Disco dies of a cocaine overdose.
- 1986 - Chernobyl enters the active age of Radio.
- 1991 - Kool-Aid retires the Kool-Aid Man after he is imprisoned for providing alcohol to a 14-year old girl.
- 1992 - The cookie monster enters rehab, forever changed... for the worse
- 2007 - After several days of being stoned, Germany reconsiders invading Poland but soon realizes that nobody cares.
- 2011 - Princess Peach dies.
- 2095 - Nintendo gets sued by Someone for Pokémon having animal abuse in it.
- 2096 - The Japanese agree to force Nintendo to close.