March 5: Festival of Violent Spasms (Turkey)
- 1337 - You are alive.
- 1914 - Preparations to the wildest party known to mankind are well on their way
- 1947 - The wildest party known to mankind begins today. Death tolls are still rising.
- 1991 - Emperor George Bush Sr. takes over all of the Americas, except Hawaii.
- 1999 - Party almost stops over fear of the Y2K Bug. Then someone gets a fly swatter. Party continues.
- 2006 - Party nearly ends. Bird Flu epidemic. Ends with Bird Flu being deported to Britain and the death of Big Bird. Party Continues.
- 2008 - Ten years after aliens from outer space destroyed a significant portion of the United States, including cities such as New York City and Washington, D.C., the world is still recovering from the damage. World leaders are still shaking hands, albeit carefully, and actor Will Smith has vowed to "kick E.T.'s ass" should Earth ever be invaded again.
- 5997 - End of the World. Turks Party in Heaven, with Allah and Jesus
- 6666 - In Soviet Russia, Turkey Party's YOU!!