Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/French Military

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French Military[edit]

This is a rewrite of a piss-poor article (get it "pee review and all), hopefully this is better just checking to see what everyone thinks. Cheers.

UUtea.jpg A big mug o' reviewin' strength tea? Why, that must mean this article
is being reviewed by:
UU - natter UU Manhole.gif
(While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider helping someone else instead).
(Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing, feel free to remove it or clout UU athwart the ear'ole).

OK, I'll give it a once-over. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:54, 31 January 2008 (UTC)

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Final Score: 25 OK, what you've done so far is take something crap, and improve it to something kinda passable, but not really inspired. I'd like to see this taken up a few notches, to be honest, so think about the suggestions above and below, and consider re-working it from one of the viewpoints I mention. As it is, it's... Alright, I guess. Sorry to damn with faint praise, but this is an honest opinion.
Reviewer: --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:12, 31 January 2008 (UTC)

Commentification: seriously, there's plenty to work with here. You barely touched on events prior to the 20th century for starters. There's the wars with the Roman Empire back when it was Gaul (you could always work in Asterix if you're short of inspiration for that), Charlemagne and the Carolingian Empire, the Battle of Hastings, The Hundred Years' War, The Thirty Years' War, Revolutionary Wars, ol' Napoleon and various others. Plenty of victories there, and lots of fuel to either ridicule the stereotype, or comedically try to defend it by brushing them aside and concentrating on the defeats. I'd seriously recommend following one of these courses, as it puts a slightly different spin on it, making things a little more interesting.

Take a swift look at the English Military History section of England. The slant here is to emphasize the Englishness of the other nations who helped the English fight any given war. It's not fantastic itself, to be honest, but it is kind of amusing, and it may give you a few more ideas to play with.

I hope you give these comments some thought. Please don't take this as a hatchet job, as it's not intended as such. You rewrote a terrible article - thanks! Now take the next step and really make it shine!

And finally, this is only my opinion, others are available. And good luck! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:50, 31 January 2008 (UTC)