Undies

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Verb It's not a verb, who are you trying to fool?

Noun Very small, sometimes white, things that you wear under your regular pants. Unless you are Superman, in which case you wear them outside your pants.


History[edit]

Invented in the year 1026 B.C. by the Japanese scientist Toyota Hitachi they were an instant success. When the Englishmen discovered Japan a little while later the Japanese were already neatly and quite modestly dressed in white undies. The Brits immediately stole a sample pair to give to the Queen. Those very undies, unwashed to this day, can be found at the British Museum in London, which is famous for its collection of ancient undies.

The very earliest undies were made out of pine wood painted white, but by the time the Englishmen reached the civilized world of Japan it had already been deemed a far too uncomfortable method.

Before the rise of undie popularity, people simply went commando or freeballing, much the same as Scots still do. This caused the invention of pocket tennis which is a game still enjoyed by boys to this day.

The Economic Impact of Wearing Undies[edit]

Studies conducted at the Oxford University show that the introduction of undies in society also make a certain layer of people more inclined to perform pickpocketing and thus altering the economic situation of many citizens in countries affected by this fashion.

The Mystery of the Stain[edit]

The Mystery of the Stain has intrigued many wise men during the course of history. The stain could usually be found clearly visible in your undies when you were about 12. Even though it was very clearly visible, you still hoped that your mum would never notice anything, even if you were not really sure of where it came from. However, recent scientific studies show that your initial fear that it might have had something to do with that nice dream about that cute girl in school might have been wellfounded.

Undie Facts[edit]

  • They are called undies because you put them on under the influence of your mother and removed under the influence of sex.
  • They do not come with brown skidmarks when they are new.
  • Despite popular ideas, they do not wash themselves!

See Also[edit]