United States School of Military Raping

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School of Raping

“Throughout history soldiers have been reported to fight with their penises, as well as their swords, why the hell should we stop now??”

~ b on j

“It is not evil, it's a legitimate military strategy. We need to do everything in our power to win at Iraq.”

~ United States Senator on Military Raping

“Just like we have radio operators, and we have cryptologists, and we have snipers, we need to have rapists”

~ [name witheld] on Military Raping

“I'm scared..”

~ Oscar Wilde on Tactical Military Raping
This could be you <insert name here>.

The United States School of Military Raping is a highly specialized education center designed to instruct our fighting men and women in the various aspects of tactical military raping.

It is well known that soldiers are the most ideal rapists on the planet. They're exquisitely strong, tough, trained for all sorts of holds, tough, hard, manly guys, sexually frustrated and generally brought up to be killing machines of the highest order. Plus it gets them some seriously hot 14 year old Muslim girl action.

Therefore, why not?? If our weapons and fighting can't scare them, then maybe the hideously large American penises can.

The three week long course is divided into three parts, the theory, the training, and the practice (done on actual Iraqi civilians) and is an elective course, of which is suggested but not required.

Soldiers are taught the positions, penetrations, and techniques necessary for professional pancultural submission, including but not limited to females.

Lookouts, targeting, and avoiding retribution is also practiced, under the general 'America is kick-ass' policy (George W. Bushism). Common mistakes such as allowing the groin to be kicked are avoided. All in all it adds to the general soldiering experience. All graduates receive certification on their badges. Enlisted men only. Remember, don't ask don't tell..

See Also[edit]