United States of Cillit Bang
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
The United States of Cillit Bang (also known as the United States of Easy-Off Bam in Australia) is the most powerful country in the world today. It was formerlly known as the USA, until it was taken over by Barry Scott, together with Mr T, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sitting Bull many a century ago. It's inhabitants are mostly the zombie remains of the people who were involved in the Big Bang, actually caused by a Cillit Bang factory, inventing the Bermuda Triangle. The Soviet Union once consisted of the Unites States of Cillit Bang, Calgon, Finish, Clorox, Mr Sheen, Mr Muscle, Clearasil and Cif.
Contents |
[edit] Uses
Although it has been deemed the cleanest place on earth, with the tendency of locals to dip pennies into Cillit Bang and shout Good As New, The States are actually a hideout for Willy Wonka where he plots to take over the world, and of course to sell Cillit Bang to little kids.
[edit] First to land on the Moon
Willy Wonka has a space ship, the CillitBang 11, the first to land on the Moon, which has been submerged in a huge ocean of Cillit Bang. Even now the Cillit Bang flag with the logo "Good as New" printed proudly on the front can be viewed. There are a number of reasons for landing on the Moon, most believe Barry Scott saw it as a giant Penny that needed cleaning.
[edit] States
After the USA had been colonised, Barry Scott decided that the state names didn't reflect his beloved cleaning product's name. To make up for this, he renamed them all. Well, actually not all, because 50 states were too many for him count (not blaming this problem on his obsessive drinking of Cillit Bang), so he merged them all into six super-states:
- Goodasnewfoundland, once part of Canada, now the base of Cillit Bang black market.
- Lookhowitgetsthinpensylvania, run by Barry Scott
- Barryzona, equivalent to Las Vegas
- Washington C.B., capital
- Goodasnew Mexico, Spanish-speaking state
- BangandthedirtisOregon, the world's largest vat of Cillit Bang
[edit] Famous Residents
- Barry Scott, the guy who promotes Cillit Bang and Cillit Bang cult leader
- Mr T, the guy who pities anyone who doesn't use Cillit Bang
- Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Guy who terminates anyone who doesn't buy Cillit Bang
- Fresh Prince, became "Fresh" after he was dipped into a crate of Cillit Bang
- Uncle Phil, had an overdose of Cillit Bang and became known as Uncle Fill or Full
- David Hasselhoff, was kidnapped and tormented; they did this to emphasise the Hassel part of his name
- The Cillit Bang Band, sing the National Anthem of the Country
- Chuck Norris, Barry's second father
