Universal Wang Theorem
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“I have one. This theory is as good as proven.”
P = mc2 / wang
The Universal Wang Theorem was proposed early in the 16th century by experts at NASA. It is a sub-theorem derived from the equation relating tomato, meat, butter, toast, and other essential variables proving the existence of the FSM. It is derived of those same variables, including some extra ones taking into account the deception factor (simply put, it incorporates the influence of alcohol).
In layman's terms, the Universal Wang Theorem suggests that the fabric of space-time is held together by Chuck Norris' massive erections. The passage of time is in fact only an illusion created by the incredible speeds at which Chuck Norris' penis travels (namely, at a rate of 32,473.8 women/day) a ratio that, when roughly translated to miles/hr, equates to about 98% the speed of light.
The deception factor (the alcohol) takes into account that while Chuck Norris can hold several vats of hard liquor at any one time, it impairs his sexual performance, like many other males. This causes irregularities in the space-time continuum, in the form of black holes, antimatter, and new teams of Power Rangers.
