University of Dallas
The University of Dallas
Founded in 1873 by Gandalf, creator of the original Gondola, The University of Dallas, or UoD, was founded in the heart of the bustling metropolis that is El Paso. The school was founded on the basic principles of the Catholic Church, and the teachings of John Paul III.
UoD offers a very small range of academics. Actuallly, there are really only two to be exact. You can major in the following:
A typical UoD student spends 76% of their adult life at the University. In the previous year, 42550, 1.673 students graduated.
UoD features no housing, but allows for its students to sleep in ant mounds located strategically between all of the academic buildings. Incoming freshman are required to sign up for a community ant mound. All students must sign up for the 78 meals a week meal plan.
Policies and Regulations
The following are important rules and regulations becoming of a UoD student:
- All students are required to be in the nude while sleeping upon their ant mound.
- Commuter students, in honor of our founder, must only use Educational Gondolas.
- All students will be forced to write a continuous autobiographical novel throughout their UoD career, and may only graduate once the novel has been completed from birth to expiration.
- Students are subject to random search and epileptic seizures.
- Applications must have already been turned in. You're too late.
- You must have an extreme distaste for all of the following pieces of literature: The Iliad, The Odyssey, Plato's Republic, Dante's Inferno, The Stinky Cheese Man, Virgil's The Anniad, and Goodnight Moon
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Who needs to know how to the rent when you know the proof to the Cauchy-Riemann Equations?