Unluck is named after German Scholar Un L. Uck (Originally F*ck, but the 'F' was removed due to licensing issues), borin in -18 ABCD. Un L. Uck was always abused and maimed by squirrels because he was cursed by the coporophilliac monkey goblin of Tsar. I mean seriously, if you have good fortune at all, you're definitely going to lose it one of these days. You'll be beaten up and EVERYONE will hate you. In fact, EVERYONE hates you right now. That's right! Hahahahahaha!
Why You are Unlucky
- You are gay, even if you are denying it
- You were born through toilet birth
- Potato Chips
- You never listened to your parents
- Your pen0r is t3h [email protected]$t!!!
- All females are members of an entire organization dedicated killing you
What You Can Do to Become Lucky
How to Transfer Your Unluckiness to Someone Else
It's a difficult process, but it may be possible; everyone but you knows how, but no one has actually done it. You must send Michael Jackson 1,000 e-mails telling him the kids wanting to visit Neverland Ranch NEED HIM to return. If successful, have a night with MJ, hit a couple of Jesus Juices and just let the magic happen! If Michael Jackson "touches" you, you may have spread the STD known as unluckiness to the transracial pedophillic circus clown/leprachaun known as MICHAEL JACKSON! But you'll still have it, and since it's an STD, you're going to die anyways. If you're still lucky, it should be known that another way to contract unluckiness is to READ THIS ARTICLE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!
Things You Can Do Before Your Tragic Death
- Eat poop
- Gobble sh-t
- Eat fecal matter
- Eat doodies
- Munch Mookie Stains
- Eat smelly chocolate
- Dine on coporal waste
- Becoming *~GHEY~*
- Become an admin on Wikipedia, which has totally untrue content