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75% of turkeys "addicted to cocaine"
LIMA, Peru - Turkeyologists around the world have long been puzzling over the purpose of those disgusting dangling growths that hang from the beaks of male turkeys, looking distinctly similar to an enlongated scrotum after the testes have been removed and which would seemingly be a hindrance to the birds during feeding. World-renowned turkeyologist Professor Gomez San Miguel of Lima University explains: "Turkeyologists, including myself, have long been puzzling over the purpose of those disgusting dangling growths that hang from the beaks of male turkeys, looking distinctly similar to an enlongated scrotum after the testes have been removed and which would seemingly be a hindrance to the birds during feeding," he says.
» Full story
U. S. President to give speech to children, Republicans apoplectic with rage
Possum Trot, KY- Joshua Morgan doesn't want his 8-year-old daughter to hear from President Obama next week.
Morgan, of Possum Trot, is among a growing number of parents across the country who are troubled by the president's plan to address elementary, middle and high school students in an online and televised speech Tuesday.
"It's scary what he's doing. He's starting a culture war with our kids on the front lines. The Obama administration have proven this, over and over and over again, for the entire 7 months of his administration. He does this at every turn," Gordon told FOXNews.com on Thursday while UnNews tapped their phones. "It's very socialistic, like something you'd see in Nazi Germany."
» Full story
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Check out the Team
UnFunnies for November 24
NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 9/06/09
- Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) - This week, play tennis at every available opportunity. Yes, even during your sister's wedding, only good can come of it.
Stories being reviewed by Minitrue
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On This Day
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UnWeather Station
provided by UnNews
UnWeather operates automatically by going out and auto-reading the weather news itself, and its contents are free and open to abuse and buttrape
(only by appointment, please).
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Two Day Outlook
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| Wednesday
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a 57% chance of
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thunder
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| Wednesday
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a 57% chance of
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thunder
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| Wednesday
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a 57% chance of
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thunder
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Suggested Recreation
| While there is a 57% chance of thunder
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| Wednesday, we suggest a little yard work.
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Global Warming Indicator
International Posts
Special Weather Report:
A pack of domesticated tornadoes escaped Oklahoma, and may be roaming loose near Canada.
UnWeather Station Forecast Stats
This weather forecast is correct once in a blue moon, and twice after two shots of tequilla.
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About UnNews
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