“There is an article about who?”
Captain Oblivious is a superhero renowned for his failure to comprehend what is going on around him. Experts are extremely unsure about the origin of Captain Oblivious. When interviewed about this, as all superheroes are, he was found to be unsure of this himself, and only after hours of Interview -- they had to repeatedly explain to him that an interview was taking place -- did they learn nothing. What is known is that his name has been whispered in the darkened corners of the Internet since the Internet went online, and that his life is shrouded in mystery. Even to him.
Captain Oblivious has gained himself fame, but he has never realised and he probably never will.
He is one of the Obious "twins", the other being Captain Obvious. Doubt is still held as to the exact nature of these so-called twins, however, due to disparaging stories from both of these heroes. Oblivious has stated on the record: "Captain Obvious says we're related, and he seems to know a lot about our mutual childhood. Why, I don't know."
Captain Obvious verified this in his own autobiography where in page 2 he writes: "He doesn't know I am a superhero. He probably doesn't know he is a superhero himself."
The Oblivious Offspring
“I have a son?”
“What I really miss about my childhood is going fishing with my father without a rod. Or a boat. Or my father.”
Captain Oblivious has a son, whom he forgets procreating. Naturally the identity of The Riddler's mother escapes Captain Oblivious, as does the whereabouts of his beloved son. Captain Oblivious also remains oblivious of the fact that The Riddler had a career as an arch-enemy of Batman. Eventually The Riddler got fired because he wore too stupid a costume, and nowadays he is pestering his poor father by sending him riddles such as:
- Riddle me this, riddle me that
- What kind of dad forgets his own brat?
Quotes on Record from Captain Oblivious
“Nobody mentioned there was going to be an article about me?”
“What do you mean 'There is an article about you'?”
“If you read the quotes on this page to your friends nonstop, they will laugh.”
“Is this quote in the right section?”
“Man, I love trolls”
“Mmmmm... oven chips”
“But I pee with that thing!”
“Really?! Since when?”
“They don't taste of butter?!”
“Elton John is gay?!”
“I don't remember my house being this small. Oh well”
“This red button?”
“I bet that thing works!”
“I bet that thing works!”
“Wall? What wall?”
“Nobody cares about that”
“CAPS LOCK ISN'T ANNOYING!”
“Wait! The President's half White? He looks black to me!”
“I don't remember agreeing to this”
“When I sit down, it makes a noise?”
“... I'm blind!!!”
“There's going to be a quote below this?”
“Wow, I swear I didn't see that coming”
“Seriously? Fish swim ALL THE TIME?”
“Who's Chuck Norris? I could probably take 'em. sounds like a pussy”
“In any given right-angled triangle, the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the opposite and adjacent sides”
“What does that mean?”
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