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Cquote1.png StarBlue.jpgStarBlue.jpgStarBlue.jpgStarBlue.jpgStarBlue.jpg - If you only visit one Uncyclopedia user page this year, make it this one. Cquote2.png


Cquote1.png StarBlue.jpgStarBlue.jpgStarBlue.jpgStarBlue.jpg - Dynamite on a stick. Mickey is pure adrenalin. Cquote2.png

News of the World

Cquote1.png StarBlue.jpgStarBlue.jpgStarBlue.jpgStarBlue.jpgStarBlue.jpg - Pure genius! Absolute, fucking genius! Cquote2.png

Readers' Digest[1]

That's not me either, although, the picture is representative of my day-to-day dress.

Things that I wrote[edit]

Full articles[edit]

Features in bold. Quasi-features in hot pink italicised bold.

That is me. Just kidding. That's Mickey Mantle. Apparently he's a famous baseball player. I figured that out from the bat.
  • Rafael Nadal. People often ask me where I get my ideas. "Where do you get your ideas for articles?" they say. I just shrug and turn over to Eurosport. Then I write the tenth best article of 2008.
  • Sania Mirza. Yes, she's a tennis player. She is also the subject of my Poo lit-winning article of Summer 2008. Yay for me!
  • Sania Mirza: A Riposte. A sequel? I must be running out of ideas.
  • Shoaib Malik. So Sania Mirza is getting married, creating factual inaccuracies in her article. That sounds like cause for a formal complaint! Threequel!
  • Queen Elizabeth I. PLS winner. Bow down at my article-writing prowess!
  • James Bond (character).
  • Dmitry Medvedev. I'm doing political satire again! I feel like an intellectual.
  • Claude Debussy. Second in the PLS. Again.
  • HowTo:Boil an egg‎. My attempt to deliver a fresh(ish) approach to HowTos.
  • A-level. My contribution to conservation week.
  • Big Brother (UK television series). A miserable failure at PLS Summer 2007 and a miserable failure at VFH. One day, I will have my revenge.
  • Zara Phillips. I also rewrote this for the PLS, again in Summer 2007. Hooray for Wimbledon rain delays!
  • Lawn Tennis. The first whole article I made, as opposed to a rewrite and I love it so.
  • Anna Kournikova. Part of my fabulous series of articles about tennis. It's a bit random and flits from story to story, but I still think it's quite funny nonetheless.
  • HowTo:Change a leopard's spots


Coming Soon (if by "soon" you mean "maybe sometime this year, maybe never")[edit]

This is what I would look like if I became a wrestler, or if I somehow ended up playing one in a film. I would win an oscar, though.

Contributed chunks of text. Good, meaty chunks.[edit]

  • Robert Mugabe. I did a lot of work towards this article's imperial colonization, getting it featured in the process. The irony of Robert Mugabe benefitting from imperialism is delicious.
  • Amy Lee. This was lying in the eternal pit of despair of shattered hearts and broken dreams that is VFD until I whipped it into shape.
  • Necrophiliphobia. I peed this, like a year ago and only just got round to whipping it into shape.
  • Penis penis Penis penis penis penis Penis penis. Quite possibly the dumbest article I've been involved with. I think it's funny, though.
  • Game:Oliver Twist. I added the "break into song" diversion. I can't take any credit for the article's featured status, though. That's all Template:U.
  • Charlie Sheen. Made more bitching.
  • League of Nations. This is mostly Braydie's work, but I provided some ideas through Pee Review and added some text and a picture. Whereas Braydie is the father, I feel like the kindly uncle to this Featured article.
  • Just A Minute. This was a mere stub before I got my hands on it.
  • Gymnastics:the disciplines. Not my best work, but here for the sake of completeness.


It gives me a giddy little thrill to find that someone has taken the time to translate one of my articles into a foreign language. Here are the one's which to my knowledge have had that honour. If you know of others, please let me know.

I wish this was me. I'd never leave the house.

Things that I didn't write, not even good meaty chunks of text. I just think they're funny.[edit]

Templates and stuff. Well, just templates, actually. This section is entirely stuff-free.[edit]

Vogon.jpg Poet Lowrate
This person is the winner of the Poo Lit Surprise, which they won for their article: Queen Elizabeth I
Vogon.jpg Poet Lowrate
This person is the winner of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition, which they won for their article: Sania Mirza

Writer of the Month Award Writer of the Month February 2008



Newcookie.gif Somebody has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
2 This user rewrote 2 pages for Conservation Week, because s/he cares. How many have you rewritten, huh?

GoldenShower.jpg Rejoice, 15Mickey20! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award
For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

  1. Please note: Quotations included herein may have been misattributed or completely fabricated. This is for the purpose of misleading the general public.