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I'm not going to give an overly-sentimental excuse for my recent absence. School started and school was difficult. It's as simple as that. However, as time passed homework started to seem like less of a chore. I found my stride. But I didn't come back. This wasn't my first absence, and thus far it hasn't even been my longest, but it's unique. Unique in the worst, or maybe best, possible way. For the first time, I didn't miss Uncyclopedia.

Every other time that I've been on a hiatus, forced or otherwise, I always felt that I'd eventually end up right back here. Until now, I was always right. Things have changed. My life isn't that much more busy, and the time that I always spent on Uncyclopedia is still free, but I truly don't want to return. The only reason I'm writing this is because somebody might someday notice that I'm gone and want to know why. I may even be trying to gain the same attention that some part of me has almost always craved since I joined, I don't know. That's not what this is about.

There are a variety of factors that caused me to distance myself from the site. Foremost among these is the absence of many users I used to know. Back when I first joined, I used to have some of the funnest nights I can remember with the likes of Cajek, Dr. Skullthumper, Unknown User, TheLedBalloon, Ljlego, THEDUDEMAN, and Squiggle, among others. All but two of them are gone now. I miss those times, more than I ever thought I would. I even made a page for the specific purpose of reminiscing on those memories, and it's nowhere near complete. I can only think of one occasion within the last year that I've had as much fun on this site as I did then, and that was entirely thanks to Zombiebaron.

I'm not blaming the current userbase for my lack of enjoyment, however. There are more newbies running around with every passing month, and heaven knows what kind of crazy things they manage to accomplish. But I'm not one of them, and it's something that I'd been growing more and more painfully aware of over the course of the summer. My lack of... participation, I suppose you could call it, is entirely my own fault. I didn't make an effort to get involved with the new users because I didn't want to get involved with the new users. I wanted my old memories back, I wanted it to be 2007 again.

I even wanted to be myself from 2007 again. There was a time where almost everything I wrote was laced with humor. I didn't care if I made anybody else laugh, I was happy because I could make myself laugh, and others were willing to play along. Even this very essay would be twice as long because of my refusal to be serious. I can't do that anymore. Not even my abomination of a debate with Zombiebaron brought back that same feeling.

This is why I'm leaving. I may not be gone permanently, but for the time being I have no intention of returning to Uncyclopedia. Not actively, at any rate. If anybody wants to reach me they can use my email or leave a message on my talk page. I don't intend to check anything else. I apologize to anybody who feels slighted, either because I didn't mention them above, didn't say goodbye, or, due to an alarming lapse of judgment, enjoyed my presence here. I can say that I will miss Uncyclopedia, but I'll miss what Uncyclopedia was, not what it is. Or rather, I'll miss who Uncyclopedia was, the names that used to give meaning to my time here. Some are still here, but too many of them are gone, and I can't seem to make myself move past that fact.