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--> Haberdasher ([email protected]) has joined #uncyclopedia

  • Haberdasher does a little dance on the spot.
<Bradaphraser> hey
<Bradaphraser> fix my hat
<Bradaphraser> it's got a huge playing card with a fraction on it
<Bradaphraser> been driving me nuts
<Haberdasher> with pleasure. only I'm not the Mad Hatter, so I can only sell you hats, not fix them.
<Bradaphraser> damn it
<Bradaphraser> ok
<Bradaphraser> nevermind then
<Haberdasher> yep. would you like a hat without a playing card in it?
<Bradaphraser> yeah
<Bradaphraser> what do you have?
<Haberdasher> I have a bonnet too, if you want one. it's purple.
<Haberdasher> well... there's a nice top hat... it's got knives through the brim...
<Bradaphraser> hmm
<Bradaphraser> that's too high class for me
<Bradaphraser> got anything in red?
<Haberdasher> another bonnet, I'm afraid, although...
  • Haberdasher searches.
<Bradaphraser> but I don't WANT a bonnet...
<Haberdasher> there's a lovely floppy lady's hat with maroon veil, all in scarlet.
<Haberdasher> and a sombrero with a little cactus design, also in red.
<Bradaphraser> Ooh
<Bradaphraser> give me the sombrero

<-- kakun has quit (Remote closed the connection)

  • Haberdasher hands Bradaphraser the two-metre wide sombrero.
<Haberdasher> I hope you can hold it.
  • Bradaphraser fumbles with the enormous sombrero
<Haberdasher> there are pins to attach it to your head, if you think it's in danger of coming off.
<Bradaphraser> eh
<Bradaphraser> I uh
<Bradaphraser> I think I can do this
<Haberdasher> are you sure? I'm not sure you're going to be able to get out the door with it.
  • Bradaphraser rests the edge of the sombrero on the ground, then eases his head into the head hole.
<Haberdasher> mmhmm....
<Bradaphraser> that's ok, I'll just sit here
<Haberdasher> I could probably cut a hole in the wall...
  • Bradaphraser leans against the wall, with the sombrero pulled over his eyes, taking a siesta.
<Haberdasher> all you need now is a guitar.
<Haberdasher> I can sell you one for a song...
  • Bradaphraser pulls the sombrero up.
<Bradaphraser> Eh?
<Haberdasher> that reminds me, you haven't paid me for the sombrero yet.
<Bradaphraser> I'm just trying it out
  • Bradaphraser pulls the sombrero back over his eyes.
<Haberdasher> well, no taking a siesta in it, then.
<Bradaphraser> aw
  • Haberdasher ducks under the sombrero and waves the bill at Bradaphraser.
<Haberdasher> You read this?
<Haberdasher> this is an expensive hat.

<-- MoneySign has quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))

<Bradaphraser> No habla ingles
<Haberdasher> You're going out my door without the hat if you 'no speak english' me!
<Bradaphraser> ok, fine
<Bradaphraser> have your hat back
<Haberdasher> In fact, you're going out that door with a free cactus in the posterior. as a gift.
  • Haberdasher takes back sombrero in a huff.
  • Bradaphraser fumbles around with the sombrero, before finally giving up and letting it rest on the floor.

<-- JackMort has quit ()

<Haberdasher> thank you, sirrah.
<Bradaphraser> I couldn't take a proper siesta in it anyway.
<Haberdasher> now kindly depart from my haberdasherie.
<Haberdasher> depart! now!
<Haberdasher> you're insulting my produce!
<Bradaphraser> fine
<Bradaphraser> I will, good sir
<Haberdasher> (wait, isn't produce just vegetables?)
<Haberdasher> madam.
<Bradaphraser> and I'll have you know, I'll uh..
  • Bradaphraser checks.
<Bradaphraser> madam
<Haberdasher> first you insult my products, then you call me sir.
<Haberdasher> checks?
<Haberdasher> checks?
  • Haberdasher is outraged.
<Bradaphraser> I'll uh, be going then.
<PantsMacKenzie> cheques.
  • Bradaphraser tries to leave.
<Haberdasher> indeed!

--- PantsMacKenzie removes channel operator status from PantsMacKenzie

  • Haberdasher drops a cage onto Bradaphraser's head.
<Bradaphraser> what's all this then?

--> MoneySign ([email protected]) has joined #uncyclopedia

<Haberdasher> you can stay there until the police come, you vagrant.
<PantsMacKenzie> you've been pokemonned.

--> Karn ([email protected]) has joined #uncyclopedia

<Bradaphraser> not again