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Welcome to Chez CaptainSpam's!
Uncyclopedia's largest source of CaptainSpam's Uncyclopedia articles!
(or significant edits thereof)
Member, FDIC

Here at Chez CaptainSpam's, we're dedicated to slacking off and never getting around to finishing anything here in this great Uncyclopedian country of ours. But, sometimes something slips through, and we pass the savings on to you, the customer!


Fried Dot
A light appetizer of fried dot from our own kitchens, served alongside a quoteable dish by someone else. Comes with bread.

The Midwest United States Party Platter
Sprinkled lightly with cultural wisdom, this hearty history platter, served with horseshoes and beer, is sure to please. Serves region of six. Comes with bread.

Perl on our special Language Biscuits
You can't go wrong with $this! use language_template; and dig into our one-of-a-kind language biscuits that'll have you screaming {{Lang|perl|G}}! Comes with bread.

Fat-Free Gratuitous Anime Panty Shot *
Indulge in shameless decedance with our award-winning foreign dessert. Disturbing while addictive, delicious while guilty. Served in a battleship dish. Comes with bread.

Bulleted list filet
Found on all the greatest culinary lists worldwide. A sizeable filet of bulleted list served with vegetables, wine, ketchup, mushrooms, and cheese. Comes with bread.

Simmered Comic Genesis soup
Completely different from the Keenspace soup served across the street, our Comic Genesis soup is made from only the freshest of sprite ingredients. Comes with bread.

OSHA Pot Pie
A specialty of the house, cooked in our standards-compliant safety kitchens. Watch out, our regulatory spices are HOT! Comes with bread.

Lightly glazed HowTo:Make a Fuck You Uncyclopedia post with scallops
Hated by the plebians for its conspiratorial glaze, loved by the upper class for its savory whiny flavor. Goes great with a side of Dump Cake! Comes with bread.
Ask for guacamole and salsa.

*: Denotes Chef's Specials

Future Items[edit]

Temp Bin
Our chefs (chevs?) are hard at work on preparing the latest in Uncyclopedia cuisine. Except not really working hard. More of slacking around and hoping someone else does it for us.



Member of the Order
us-N This user is a native speaker of American English.
de-E This user only speaks Deutsch because it was a required course in school.
US flag.png This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
ca-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Canajan, eh?.
cpp-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of C++.
Tux-thinkpad.png This user supports free operating systems because he/she is basically a cheapskate.

perl-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Perl.
java-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Java.
Leftswordguy.gif An adventurer is this user! He or she plays Kingdom of Loathing.
du-0 This user does not understand Dumbass and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
Sucrose b small.gif This user joined the [email protected] Team, because he/she gives a damn & so should you.

3112 This user has contributed 3112 pints points to the Uncyclopedia [email protected] Team.