User:CommandantFruitcake/Glorious Capital City of the Motherland

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Glorious Capital City of the Motherland
Motto: Motherland is Grand
Civic anthem: Oh Great Czechoslovakia
Official nickname Wonderful Capital City of the Motherland
Official language(s) Czech, Russian, Gibberish
Mayor King Josef III
Established 1823
Re-Established 1947
Re-Re-Established 1985
Currency Goat

Glorious Capital City of the Motherland is the current capital of the Czech Republik, and so far holds the record for "Longest Time as Capital of Czechoslovakia", after 2 months (Which is an incredible feat, considering that each day, 46,163 new countries are annexed from the country). The city is located on the oily shores of the Goat Sea, and is famous for its exports of goat, dingleberries, dirt, and sausage.

History[edit]

Founding[edit]

In 1823, a boatload of vikings had been lost in the rough waters of the Goat Sea for months, during the infamous "7 Year Thunderstorm". When the vikings finally reached the shore, they immidiately discovered the resources of the land. The beaches were rich with dirt, and the fjords were loaded with freshly grown sausage. Unfortunately, being that the vikings were nudists, 18 of the 25 died off during the first winter, and 3 more came down with a bad case of the mondays. Now that there were only four members of the tribe still alive, they figured that they would need to consumate in order to keep their race going. However, a major difficulty in the plan was discovered: All of the women in the tribe had frozen to death. So the 4 men devised a clever scheme, and managed to impregnate eachother. How this was achieved has never been discovered, but historians can tell us that it had to do with rocks, a fish, blood, sweat, and tears. Unfortunately, the next winter, a plague struck the viking tribe, killing 6 of the 8 members. A boy named Pjoter, and his father, Pjater had been spared from the first attack of the plague. However, Pjater soon fell ill, and sent his 1 year old son to try and find help over the mountain range.

Second Settlement[edit]

After nearly 50 years, Pjoter had managed to find a small group of Goat herders living in the mountains. He attempted to lead them back to the settlement, but instead missed by half a mile, and ended up in a completely different dirt field (This one had a rock). Soon enough, the people had children, the goats had children, and the people and the goats had children together. The small settlement soon grew (Mold that is), and the population slowly began to rise.