User:Docile hippopotamus/HowTo:Become RAHB
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“The cavalry has arrived.”
“What can I say? You've got me pinned. I've been thinking lately of moving on to brocolli, but you know...carrots are good for your eyes and stuff.”
So…you want to be RAHB? Who can blame you? Who wouldn’t want to be
totally lame cool like RAHB?
Whats that? Are you asking me, “How do I become RAHB?” Well I’m glad you asked. All you need to do is follow five simple steps, and then you’re RAHB!
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
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Step 1: Murder RAHB
Now I know this may sound a little harsh, but don't you dare pretend you haven't thought about this before, I AM SICK OF YOUR LIES! There should be no problem ‘taking care of’ RAHB as long as you use the correct weaponry, but if you do need help, ask help from his adoptee's, who will supply you with the unViagra needed to
incapata incapiti RAHBicide kill him.
Step 2: Nominate your own articles for VFH
When your RAHB, your articles are soo cool that people won’t nominate them for VFH, so you’ll have to nominate them yourself. Be sure to bribe and threaten users so they vote for you, or else they won’t vote, since they will think that they are not cool enough to vote for your articles unless bribed or threatened.
No one knows why RAHB listens to Frank Zappa, not even RAHB.
Step 4: Talk obsessively about your dick
Step 5: Complain about everything
|1 sentence from this article was originally sporked from HowTo: Become a Top Gear Presenter.|