User:Docile hippopotamus/HowTo:Become RAHB

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“The cavalry has arrived.”

~ RAHB talking about his dick.

“What can I say? You've got me pinned. I've been thinking lately of moving on to brocolli, but you know...carrots are good for your eyes and stuff.”

So…you want to be RAHB? Who can blame you? Who wouldn’t want to be totally lame cool like RAHB?

Whats that? Are you asking me, “How do I become RAHB?” Well I’m glad you asked. All you need to do is follow five simple steps, and then you’re RAHB!

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Step 1: Murder RAHB[edit]

Now I know this may sound a little harsh, but don't you dare pretend you haven't thought about this before, I AM SICK OF YOUR LIES! There should be no problem ‘taking care of’ RAHB as long as you use the correct weaponry, but if you do need help, ask help from his adoptee's, who will supply you with the unViagra needed to incapata incapiti RAHBicide kill him.

Self portrait of RAHB. Painted skillfully by the moo cow.

Step 2: Nominate your own articles for VFH[edit]

When your RAHB, your articles are soo cool that people won’t nominate them for VFH, so you’ll have to nominate them yourself. Be sure to bribe and threaten users so they vote for you, or else they won’t vote, since they will think that they are not cool enough to vote for your articles unless bribed or threatened.

Step 3: Listen to bad music[edit]

No one knows why RAHB listens to Frank Zappa, not even RAHB.

Our scientists agree, foreplay is important if you want to be RAHB.

Step 4: Talk obsessively about your dick[edit]

You’re not RAHB unless you’ve got an obsession with dicks. Talk about how long and mighty it is, and don’t worry that your lying about your dick (RAHBs is only 2 inch).

Step 5: Complain about everything[edit]

Whenever someone says something you don't agree with, ask him or her, “Is This Some Kind of Fucking Joke?!” then surprise them.

What now?[edit]

Now that the real RAHBs gone and your acting like RAHB, people will think your RAHB and you can take over his place on Uncyclopedia! AND BAN ANYONE WHO THINKS OVERWISE!

See also[edit]

RAHB

RAHB

RAHB

RAHB

RAHB

RAHB

RAHB

RAHB

RAHB

RAHB