Below are pictures of my family and friends. I really do love them all dearly.
Papa! Though I'm not sure if this is my real dad. I don't exactly have his eyes (or so mom says).
This is my mom. One time I had a dream that I floated back inside of her uterus and stayed there for nine months all over again. "Don't eat that now mom," I said to her when this photo was taken, "It'll go straight to your thighs!" Lol.
This is my grandpa. Mom told me she has to put him outside to stop him from chewing the sofa. One time he smoked a whole carton of cigarettes through the hole in his neck.
This is my grandma. She's foxxxy. She keeps telling me that she knows what I want for Christmas, but she keeps getting me socks. Mom told me she used to be a stripper.
She's my dream woman. Even if she was related to me, I'd still rape the shit out of her. I'm going to assassinate her some day.
This is my Uncle Ernie. He's my dad's brother. He got arrested for selling sugar to people.
This is from a postcard I got from my cousin Robert. He's in Iraq right now. I haven't heard from him in a while though.
These are some members of my extended family. People tell me this is where I get my good looks from.
Rick is another one of my good friends. He smells like smoked ham.
This is Ryan. Most girls think he's hideous, but if I were a girl, I would want to have his babies. But I'm not, so I don't.
Here be Chris and his lovely woman. They make such a cute couple. It's too bad Chris is impotent though. They'd have beautiful children.
David's my hero. I think about what it'd be like to put my toes in his mouth.
This is my neighbor, Thomas. He's always yelling and rolling around on the ground. One time, he invited us over for a BBQ, and we were like, "What's for dinner?", and he was like, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAH!" It was pretty good.
This is the dog mom got me for Roadkill Appreciation Day. He gets really crazy sometimes, so I got him a shock collar. His flesh is starting to smell.