User:EvilZak/United States Pharaoh

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In 3200 BC, the nation of Egypt was ruled by its first pharaoh, Narmer. Within minutes of his pharaohship, Narmer taunted the United States of America, citing that "Egypt has more pharaohs than you. Get with the program, slowpokes!" Americans, known for their superiority complex, immediately demanded that the United States have a pharaoh of its own. In October of that year, the United States Constitution was amended to include a United States Pharaoh and a United States Vice Pharaoh.

Constitutional duties of the Pharaoh[edit]

The United States Pharaoh...

  • controls all the United State Slaves & other states of the world he may fancy to hold weapons of mass destruction.
  • can write his own laws independent of Congress. 50% of the pharaoh must vote positively for it to pass; if the President of the United States vetoes the law then the pharaoh must vote 75% to override the veto.
  • can issue errata for Tic-Tac-Toe
  • decides the National Religion
  • is in charge of ensuring constant accuracy of the food pyramid
  • is obligated to run track in the Olympics for the United States, regardless of physical shape
  • must call Egypt at least once a year and remind them that they aren't the only nation with a pharaoh
  • does the White House laundry whenever the First Lady isn't around
  • can impeach the pope
  • can legally annul any part of the United States Constitution by defecating on those portions that he wants to annul to the point that they are unreadable
  • ghost-writes The West Wing
  • sacrifices all fired government workers to Anubis
  • must beat any level for the President, whenever he gets stuck on a level. Failure to beat the level, including any and all bosses, results in immediate abdication of the pharaohship.
  • consumes surplus peacans
  • Can bully any State/Country in the world

Constitutional duties of the Vice Pharaoh[edit]

The United States Vice Pharaoh...

  • Chief advisor to the Pharaoh
  • Oversees Mob and Mafi connections
  • 2nd in line for Pharaoh
  • Chairman of the National Religion
  • Nephew of the Secritary of the Treasury
  • Provides steriods for the United States Olympics teams
  • Takes bribes
  • Write Yo mama is so emo jokes into law

See also[edit]