User:Faramir, son of Denethor

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           "Faramir, son of Denethor" is considered to be a sacred word by the followers of the Leet faith. In order to prevent random numbers being placed all over the place, please do not speak it in front of them.

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~ Orc Bowman on shooting on Faramir

“Foo’, yo’ mess wit my home dog, you gunna get b-slapped, foo’!”

~ Mr T on Faramir (and Bling)


~ Chuck Norris after killing half of Sauron's forces in one piss movement

“In Soviet Russia, Faramir owns YOU!!”

~ Russia on Fightng Faramir

“I, being a believer in science, rarely venture into the realm of religion. But, ever since I came back to life, I became aware of a certain lyric on these “Radios” of these present day Gondorians, “I once was lost, now, I am found.””

~ Faramir on his resurrection
I is coming to ownz you nooblets

“My precioussssss... ”

~ your mom on Faramir


~ Joe the Plumber on Seeing this users page for the first time

“There are many magic strap-ons in this world! Oh, and make sure to suck Faramirs cock!”

~ Queen of Mordor, being a whore guide

“WTF! Your telling me that little moron has given my ring to a HOBBIT?!?”

~ Sauron on learning that Frodo has the one ring while he is taking a shit

Faramir, son of Denethor
Personal info
Nationality Rohanians
Date of birth 1\1\1
Place of birth ur mums vagina.
Date of death died and resurrected 8
Place of death Pig and Whistle, Wandsworth, London
First Lady
Political career
Order 44th President
Vice President failed attempt 1951
Prime Minister Ran in 1965 election
Term of office 122–still going
Preceded by Unknown
Succeeded by No-one
Political party The Super Gondorian Pwnage League of Horse Humpers
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Faramir, son of Denethor.

Maddening Beginnings[edit]

The lesser of two sons in the eyes of his father, Denethor, he grew up under constant peer pressure from his higher brother, Boromir.

Tallish, long haired, bearded, he is every girls favorite sex idol. His hatred for orcs started when he was about 4, when some big mean old orc came up and smashed his toy horse. Pissed off, he stabbed the orc in the belly with a little shank he made himself, killing it eventually from constant stabbing. He then proceeded to make a fire, and cooked the orcs feet. And then, well... he ate them.

He came into service for his country, Gondor, at age ten as a wall sentry. It was later that this armor was given to the salted pork eating, pot smoking hobbit, Pippin.

Growing older, he did the best he could to compete with his brother, Boromir, for the hand of his father. He became a captain, and eventually found out what he really needed to do: hunt the orcs, shoot the orcs, and kill the orcs. So he began his band of merry men archers.

And so, that's how life was for awhile. Live in an awesome cave that no-one could find, shooting anyone that dared to invade his lands. Oh yes... and then his "forbidden pool" that he swims in naked, believing only he can swim in it.

And, I mean, who would want to swim in a pool that a naked GUY was in, meanwhile probably pissing at the same time?

Obsession with the "Forbidden Pool."[edit]

Stay the f*** out of my pool!

So, what was the "Forbidden Pool"? Based on modern day archeology, this site (Britian) is thought to be found, and can now be described in detail. Here is an excerpt from the head CEO of the LOTR Addict Archeology Club;

"This so called Forbidden Pool is medium sized pool, connected to a waterfall, inside a hole like depression in the ground.

"It isn't actually water, however, it is actually clear animal piss.

"The cave behind the waterfall had remains of old boxs full of arrows, dildos, porn, everything needed to survive, thus, this is believed to be the same place described in the ancient textbook, The Lord of the Rings.

"This is one of the most amazing finds yet that we have had, and intend to do all we can do to find other LOTR artifacts. LOTR kicks butt. "

Encounter with Frodo[edit]

Despite Frodo and Sam's complaints, they were dragged to Osgiliath. A raid was goin on during that time, and, eventually, after the morgul showed up to kick his troops a**'s, he gave them some advice, which was "One does not simply rock into Mordor."

Well, this changed a bit after three unexpected visitors were picked up during a raid. These were Sam, Frodo, and Gollum.

Despite Frodo and Sam's complaints, they were dragged to Osgiliath. A raid was goin on during that time, and, eventually, after the morgul showed up to kick his troops a**'s, he gave him some advice, which was "One does not simply rock into Mordor."

Quotes From Me[edit]

"Pencils were much smaller in my days..."

“F*** off.”

~ Faramir on Liberals

“Stop using my page for your lewd urges!”

~ Faramir on Perverts

“You piece of orc ****, I'm coming to own you!”

~ Faramir on orcs

“Yo'mama is SOOO fat, that when she jump fo' joy, she get stuck, in the air!”

~ Faramir on ur mum

“Fantasy creatures don't believe in Realists, so Realists don't exist.”

~ Faramir on People

“Quit it with leaving your metal bras all over my lawn!”

~ Faramir on Girls in general

“One Half of me wants to strangle you, and the other want's to run you over with a truck.”

~ BigBirdOwnz and Faramir, son of Denethor on Oscar Wilde

“One does not simply walk into mordor.”

~ Faramir on Mordor

“One does not simply Rock into mordor.”

~ Faramir on Mordor

“One does not simply Tank Cat into mordor.”

~ Faramir on Mordor

“One does not simply Tap Dance into mordor.”

~ Faramir on Mordor

“One does not simply Figure Skate into mordor.”

~ Faramir on Mordor

“One does not simply Slip N' Slide into mordor.”

~ Faramir on Mordor

“Pencils were much smaller in my days...”

~ Faramir on Pencils