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Picanha is a gigantic piece of meat that comes from the rear of meat animals such as bovines, suines, ovines and baby seals. It was discovered in 1667 by the indian-black-portuguese Manoel Quará Abdul, when he was chasing a cow to relieve his sexual desires.

Picanha Culture[edit]

Picanha is the main food of Brazil. Brazilians eat picanha everyday at breakfeast, lunch and dinner. Also, in that country, babies are usually seen sucking pieces of picanha instead of a dummy. Picanha has a cultural, mental and enviromental importance to Brazil.

Picanha Harvest[edit]

At first, picanha was taken of the wild in a special ritual called Passa a Ripa, where crazy naked fat guys had to run after the animal, until it suffered a heart attack (the animal, not the crazy naked fat guy). This ritual was common until 1972, when the biological engineer Jéquisson Soares, from Ualdisneiuoldi University created the sintetic-organic picanha.

Sintetic-Organic Picanha[edit]

It looks like picanha, smeels like picanha and sometimes can taste like picanha. It is produced in small factories located in the brazilian Chinese slums. Altough everybobdy eats that in Brazil, nobody really knows what is made of. People prefer things that way.

This product is also in high demand in the slums of Oslo, where it is used to clean up toilets.

Picanha Science Facts 1[edit]

Some avant-garde brazilian scientists recently proved that picanha has a close relationship with good sexual performance and longevity. A case study with a korean-brazilian muslim old lady (she was 95), Mrs. Pu Tana Safadda, revealed that every time she holds the picanha with her hands she felt stronger and her curved body becomes erect. "I love picanha. When I have picanha inside my body it works much better", said the old lady. The scientists are now studying the relationship between the "Passa a ripa" and "Engole a picanha" rituals, pointed out as born from the same source.