User:Gerrycheevers

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“She got her looks from her father; he's a plastic surgeon”

~ Groucho Marx on misdirection

[edit] August Goals (feel free to add goals for Gerry!)

1. audios

2. unsignpost

3. colonization

work on God

4. timeline: 1993 done. work on 1950s.

5. current project: Regular K

6. upcoming projects: UnBooks:The Diary of Job, Abraham Lincoln rewrite, UnBooks: Pocket Guide to Annoying Your Co-Workers, Ann Coulter rewrite

7. get carried away with a cleanup and totally rewrite the most revised article in uncyclopedia history

Chuck Norris/Facts: in progress

[edit] Contributions

(currently organized alphabetically by height) bold = featured , italic = quasi-featured

[edit] Original Articles

Tremors | Gerry Cheevers | DOHS Anti-Terrorism Regulations | Red Baron | Robert Shaw | Hans Blix and the Weapons Inspectors | Dumb and Dumber | C-3PO | Gemini | Bomb Shelter | Cactus | Pie Chart | Mousetrap | Goldfish co-authored with Cap'n Ben | 1993

[edit] Full Rewrites

Alaska | NASA #2 Oct '08! | Stone the Israeli Tank co-authored with Idigl7220 | AIDS (Space Program) #2 May '09! | Kingfisher co-authored with Stupid Fat Hobbit | Lobster co-authored with Stupid Fat Cajek and Stupid Fat Under user | Wild Bill Hickok | World of Warcraft

[edit] VFD Rescues

Pet Rock: The Video Game | Is the bear a Catholic?

[edit] HowTo

How to: Be a Douchebag

[edit] Colonizations

Al Gore #1 Mar '09! | Jew | Michael Jackson | Great Britain | Barack Obama | Wikipedia | Singapore | You

[edit] UnNews

UnNews:New writing technique good for some, bad for others | UnNews:Discovery of caves on Mars sparks Space Race II | UnNews:Uncyclopedia launches first satellite | UnNews:Iraq detainees suffering from 'excessive boredom' | UnNews:Saudi woman flogged for being gang raped | UnNews:Santa Claus missing, officials fear worst | UnNews:Galactic Empire raises terror alert level to orange | UnNews:Local man rescues dozens from vampire peacock | UnNews:Dog to run for mayor of Alabama town, despite mudslinging | UnNews:Controversy arises over team nickname | UnNews:Ice cream discovered on Mars | UnNews:NYC cracks down on strays, introduces fleet of 'dog sweepers' | UnNews:Hyrule physicists report quantum fluctuations | UnNews:Scientists discover link between Daylight Savings and Global Warming | UnNews:Sharks invade cleaner beaches | UnNews:Louisiana Governor brazenly taunts volcanoes | UnNews:Congress questions Senator's knighthood | UnNews:He-She T driver is a dunderhead

[edit] UnSignposts

July 24th, 2008 (#12) | July 31st, 2008 (#13) | August 7th, 2008 (#14) | August 14th, 2008 (#15) | August 21st, 2008 (#16) | August 28th, 2008 (#17) | September 4th, 2008 (#18) | September 11th, 2008 (#19) | October 2nd, 2008 (# 20) | October 9th, 2008 (#21) | October 16th, 2008 (#22) | February 19th, 2009 (#35) | February 26th, 2009 (#36) | March 5th, 2009 (#37) | March 10th, 2009 (#38) | March 19th, 2009 (#39) | March 26th, 2009 (#40) | April 5th, 2009 (#41) | April 9th, 2009 (#42) | April 16th, 2009 (#43) | April 23rd, 2009 (#44) | April 30th, 2009 (#45) | May 5th, 2009 (#46) | May 14th, 2009 (#47) | June 4th, 2009 (#50) | June 11th, 2009 (#51) | June 28th, 2009 (#52) | June 25th, 2009 (#53) | July 2nd, 2009 (#54) | July 9th, 2009 (#55) | July 16th, 2009 (#56) | July 23rd, 2009 (#57)

[edit] Images

Armstrong on the Moon | Aushwattz 4000 | Dragons on Mars | Puppy Cannon | Spudnik | Terror Alert Chart | You've Got Platoon | Vampire Peacock | Bobby Orr | Pie Chart | Men at Work | Link Mugshot | Cactus (by Billy)

[edit] UnNews Audios

UnNews:Galactic Empire raises terror alert level to orange | UnNews:Louisiana Governor brazenly taunts volcanoes

[edit] Awards

See All Awards

[edit] About Me

I am, in fact, not Gerry Cheevers himself. I may have been him in a past life, although that is unlikely as Cheevers is in fact still alive at this point. I am, however, a 23-year old research analyst from Boston with a boring desk job who enjoys alternative rock and candlepin bowling. I stumbled across Uncyclopedia one day in 2007, and have been unable to tear myself away from it since. My goal is essentially to make people laugh as hard as I laughed when I first read the article on Bears. If I can be 1/10th as humorous as that, then I have succeeded. I like to aimlessly wander around Uncyclopedia. I think I might be physically addicted. Help! Every once in a while I get motivated enough to churn out a full article. I also like to help out fellow Uncyclopedians, so if you're ever looking for a rewrite, Pee Review, cool template, or any kind of opinion on anything, I'm your man. Satisfaction is guaranteed!^[1] Lately, I've taken up trying to be a useful bugger, what with my efforts to take over the UnSignpost, Imperial Colonization, the Proofreading Service, and whatnot.

[edit] Wandering Rant of the Week

whose cruel idea was it to put the letter 's' in the word 'lisp'?

Archive

[edit] The Lobster War

I'm always ready to answer the call. What's that, Lobsterphone? Everyone's plotting against me? Hehehehe! (Cajek)	Me (background, in blue) and Mary (voluptuous lobster in foreground). It was a beautiful ceremony (Cajek)	This rant is endorsed by Santa on Lobsterback! (UU)	(Cajek)
That does it, I'm gonna have to go thermidornuclear on your ass! (UU)	There can be no finer skin art... (UU)

[edit] Useless Clutter

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/8/87/GUN.png Grand Cross of the Order

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MAJOR

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VANDALISM!!!

[edit] Disclaimers

1. ↑ Guarantee is not a Guarantee.