User:Gwax/previous

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gwax
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Knight Commander of the Order
MIT Alumnus
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US flag.png This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
Sucrose b small.gif This user joined the [email protected] Team, because he/she gives a damn & so should you.

265K+ This user has contributed 265K+ pints points to the Uncyclopedia [email protected] Team.

4844+ This user has over 4844 edits.
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This user has been blocked
0 times.
Brain.gif This user's IQ is 170.

This user is a boy and is made of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails.


British Royal Family.jpg This user is a monarch, or a megalomaniac.

ego This user is a deluded egomaniac.
Napoleon4.jpg This user is not and has never been Napoleon.
Gefahrensymbol F.png This user enjoys indiscriminate pillaging.
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DenmarkViking.jpg This user is a Viking and enjoys killing, looting and pillaging.
Paladin.gif This user is a paladin. Hide your demons and undead.
Alanmoore1.jpg This user is a level 13 Wizard. They see the fnords.
... This user would be a professional procrastinator, but he or she can't be bothered.
3dspork.png This user is a conspirator in the Grand Conspiracy.
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\m/ This user is a metalhead, prone to wearing offensive shirts and headbanging to really loud music. Metalheads also have long hair, but are not to be confused with hippies.
Mario-lo-res.jpg This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.
Firefox Logo.png This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

Windows Logo.png This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.

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C:\>_ This user contributes using DOS.
ow-1 This user understands some of the quotes by Oscar Wilde.
usb This user likes to use userboxes.

Sign1.png This user is a mutant.
750px-High voltage warning.svg.png No user serviceable parts inside.


MEH This user redefines lazy.
NO This user doesn't care.




Uncyclopedia:Babel

enl-N This user is a native speaker of English, but Louder.
gb-N This user is a native speaker of Gibberish.
ht-N This user is a native speaker of HTML.
ns-N This user is a native speaker of Newspeak.
sa-N This user is a native speaker of Sarcasm.
us-N This user is a native speaker of American English.
en-E This user only speaks English because it was a required course in school.
fr-E This user only speaks Français because it was a required course in school.
17-X This user only speaks 1337 enough to seduce native 1337 speakers.
lz-X This user only speaks Lesbian enough to seduce native Lesbian speakers.
vl-X This user only speaks Valley girl enough to seduce native Valley girl speakers.
au-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek 'Straylyan whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
enr-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek Engrish whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
ca-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek Canajan, eh? whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
sl-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek sign language whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
uk-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek Correct English whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
bs-4 This user speaks Bullsh!t at a near-native level.
cpp-4 This user speaks C++ at a near-native level.
il-4 This user speaks Igpay Atinlay at a near-native level.
MW-4 This user speaks MediaWiki at a near-native level.
pe-4 This user speaks Plain English at a near-native level.
re-4 This user speaks Recondite English at a near-native level.
rh-4 This user speaks Random Humour at a near-native level.
css-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of CSS.
php-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of PHP.
sc-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Scrabble.
vb-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Visual Basic.
perl-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Perl.
se-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Simple English.
yt-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of ytmnd.
mor-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. ..
ju-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Joual canadien.
ru-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Русский.
tlh-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Klingon.
vg-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Vogon.
wr-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Write-only.
ac-0 This user does not understand those African clicky noises and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
da-0 This user does not understand Danish and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
de-0 This user does not understand Deutsch and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
do-0 This user does not understand Dolphin and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
es-0 This user does not understand Español and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
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grc-0 This user does not understand classical Greek and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
hr-0 This user does not understand Hrvatski and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
it-0 This user does not understand Italian and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
ja-0 This user does not understand Japanese and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
ko-0 This user does not understand Korean and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
la-0 This user does not understand Latin and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
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nl-0 This user does not understand Dutch and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
nq-0 This user does not understand Nelly queen and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
Pie-0 This user does not understand Pie and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
pl-0 This user does not understand Polish and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
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sp-0 This user does not understand Spanglish and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
sv-0 This user does not understand Swedish and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
zh-0 This user does not understand Chinese and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
[[Asshat ah-G]] This user does not speak Asshat and furthermore believes Asshat
to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Asshat
.
ao-G This user does not speak AOLer and furthermore believes AOLer to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of AOLer.
du-G This user does not speak Dumbass and furthermore believes Dumbass to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Dumbass.
elv-G This user does not speak Elvish and furthermore believes Elvish to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Elvish.
eo-G This user does not speak Esperanto and furthermore believes Esperanto to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Esperanto.
fh-G This user does not speak Fuckhead and furthermore believes Fuckhead to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Fuckhead.
fur-G This user does not speak Furry and furthermore believes Furry to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Furry.
gbs-G This user does not speak Galactic Basic Standard and furthermore believes Galactic Basic Standard to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Galactic Basic Standard.
java-G This user does not speak Java and furthermore believes Java to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Java.
pika-G This user does not speak Pikachu and furthermore believes Pikachu to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Pikachu.
tx-G This user does not speak Texan and furthermore believes Texan to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Texan.




RENT This space for rent.

Call 1-800-666-6666.

Gwax wikiwax.jpg

“4 out of 5 grues prefer gwax over other adventurers.”

“4 out of 5 trucks prefer gwax over turtle wax.”

“Beep, beep, beep, beep.”


Sir Major gwax Signuke.gif KUN UotM FH++ [email protected] CM GD NS Bur. +S is a man, or maybe a dragon, or perhaps a robot. He might actually just be a figment of his own twisted imagination but we don't really want to bother arguing with him because he tends to be kind of loud.

The Rules[edit]

gwax lives by a very strict set of rules:

1. When you're chucking a danish, everything is a cop car.
2. When in doubt, go left.
3. When in doubt, buy double.
4. Even floors do not exist.
5. Apathy is the lazy man's whatever.

FAQ[edit]

Here are some answers to some questions that no one actually asks:

Is gwax a robot?[edit]

Yes.

Can he transform?[edit]

Yes.

Has gwax ever been eaten by a grue?[edit]

23 times and counting.

Is gwax religious?[edit]

No, he is a Zen Discordian.

Is gwax a samurai?[edit]

No, but he wishes he were.

Is gwax a vigilante?[edit]

No, he is a professional.

Is gwax a member of the Illuminati[edit]

No, there is no Illuminati.

Is gwax insane?[edit]

Maybe.

gwax likes the number 3

What does gwax like?[edit]

3

What does gwax hate?[edit]

Tangled phone cords.

What does gwax do in his free time?[edit]

Play Zork, play Go, play craps and build Pigs from kits.

Is gwax the Messiah?[edit]

No, Todd and gwax lost the last election.

Has gwax ever been to war?[edit]

Yes, he was a hero of the cow war of 1927a-1927i.

Did gwax really help invent turpentine?[edit]

Yes, it is largely his fault..

Who are gwax's heroes?[edit]

The Tick, Emperor Norton I and Optimus Prime.

Where does gwax hail from?[edit]

Parts unknown, or maybe Eastern Massachusetts.

Would gwax like a sandwich?[edit]

Yes, please.

Can I poison the sandwich?[edit]

If by "poison" you mean, "add bacon to", then sure.

Has gwax ever killed a man just to watch him die?[edit]

No, the jerk had it coming.

Does gwax really hate fun?[edit]

Yes.

Has gwax ever died?[edit]

Yes.

Does gwax know what the afterlife is like?[edit]

No, he was lying about having died.

Does gwax lie often?[edit]

No.

Was that a lie?[edit]

No.

How about that, was that a lie?[edit]

Shut up!

Contact Information[edit]

User talk:Gwax : it's just that simple.

Awards[edit]




Caternest.jpg You have been cited in Uncyclopedian Bios.
Apparently you are "notable".
Don't ask me why; I think you're lame.


Newcookie.gif Todd Lyons has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
Awarded 12/16/05 ~ For your pioneer contributions to Uncyclopedia:[email protected].


For hating fun. KATIE!! 20:09, 3 Jan 2006 (UTC)


For requiring a template to stay your deletions. KATIE!! 06:20, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Uncyclopedian of the Month Award Uncyclopedian of the Month February 2006

"I do not believe in kidding; there is no room for comedy in such a serious matter." -gwax

JesseAward.jpg
THIS USER HAS WON A
~~ JESSE AWARD ~~




Notes[edit]

gwax is forgetful, so he maintains a bunch of notes to himself. Most notably, gwax maintains a to do list.

To Do List[edit]

Play[edit]

Figure Out[edit]

  • Where my mother fucking cheese go at?
  • Why Template:Q and possibly all <code> sections have a very slight grey background.

Investigate[edit]

Exuent[edit]

Exit