The title given to this article is displayed incorrectly because computers are trying to take over the Earth, so pretend it says User:gwax.
“4 out of 5 grues prefer gwax over other adventurers.”
“4 out of 5 trucks prefer gwax over turtle wax.”
“Beep, beep, beep, beep.”
Sir Major gwax KUN UotM FH++ [email protected] CM GD NS Bur. +S is a man, or maybe a dragon, or perhaps a robot. He might actually just be a figment of his own twisted imagination but we don't really want to bother arguing with him because he tends to be kind of loud.
- 1 The Rules
- 2 FAQ
- 2.1 Is gwax a robot?
- 2.2 Can he transform?
- 2.3 Has gwax ever been eaten by a grue?
- 2.4 Is gwax religious?
- 2.5 Is gwax a samurai?
- 2.6 Is gwax a vigilante?
- 2.7 Is gwax a member of the Illuminati
- 2.8 Is gwax insane?
- 2.9 What does gwax like?
- 2.10 What does gwax hate?
- 2.11 What does gwax do in his free time?
- 2.12 Is gwax the Messiah?
- 2.13 Has gwax ever been to war?
- 2.14 Did gwax really help invent turpentine?
- 2.15 Who are gwax's heroes?
- 2.16 Where does gwax hail from?
- 2.17 Would gwax like a sandwich?
- 2.18 Can I poison the sandwich?
- 2.19 Has gwax ever killed a man just to watch him die?
- 2.20 Does gwax really hate fun?
- 2.21 Has gwax ever died?
- 2.22 Does gwax know what the afterlife is like?
- 2.23 Does gwax lie often?
- 2.24 Was that a lie?
- 2.25 How about that, was that a lie?
- 3 Contact Information
- 4 Awards
- 5 Notes
- 6 Exuent
gwax lives by a very strict set of rules:
- 1. When you're chucking a danish, everything is a cop car.
- 2. When in doubt, go left.
- 3. When in doubt, buy double.
- 4. Even floors do not exist.
- 5. Apathy is the lazy man's whatever.
Here are some answers to some questions that no one actually asks:
Is gwax a robot?
Can he transform?
Has gwax ever been eaten by a grue?
23 times and counting.
Is gwax religious?
Is gwax a samurai?
No, but he wishes he were.
Is gwax a vigilante?
No, he is a professional.
Is gwax a member of the Illuminati
No, there is no Illuminati.
Is gwax insane?
What does gwax like?
What does gwax hate?
Tangled phone cords.
What does gwax do in his free time?
Is gwax the Messiah?
No, Todd and gwax lost the last election.
Has gwax ever been to war?
Did gwax really help invent turpentine?
Yes, it is largely his fault..
Who are gwax's heroes?
Where does gwax hail from?
Parts unknown, or maybe Eastern Massachusetts.
Would gwax like a sandwich?
Can I poison the sandwich?
If by "poison" you mean, "add bacon to", then sure.
Has gwax ever killed a man just to watch him die?
No, the jerk had it coming.
Does gwax really hate fun?
Has gwax ever died?
Does gwax know what the afterlife is like?
No, he was lying about having died.
Does gwax lie often?
Was that a lie?
How about that, was that a lie?
User talk:Gwax : it's just that simple.
|You have been cited in Uncyclopedian Bios.|
Apparently you are "notable".
Don't ask me why; I think you're lame.
|Todd Lyons has awarded you a cookie!|
Now go play in traffic.
For hating fun. KATIE!! 20:09, 3 Jan 2006 (UTC)
This User is hereby cited for extreme diligence
For requiring a template to stay your deletions. KATIE!! 06:20, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC)
"I do not believe in kidding; there is no room for comedy in such a serious matter." -gwax
|The Magical Eight-Days Gestating Bear Award|
|THIS USER HAS WON A|
~~ JESSE AWARD ~~
To Do List
- Solve all of Uncyclopedia's problems
- Start with the repair list
- The things on this list
- Do the dumb things I gotta do; touch the puppet head.
- Bread and yogurt at market
- Sputnik I
- Warehouse 23 - where they keep the Ark of the Covenant
- Tea Party - you know, with dolls and such; also mention the Boston one (maybe)
- Continue being cool
- Drink more tea
- Peer Pressure - the physical phenomenon : User:Gwax/Peer_pressure_(force)
- Merge pwn, pwned, pwn3d, pwnage and PWND
- create section pwn3d, about three dimensional pwn.
- Special:Lonelypages : delete as many as possible
- User:Gwax/Homestar Runner
- Where my mother fucking cheese go at?
- Why Template:Q and possibly all <code> sections have a very slight grey background.