User:Herts hatter

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How he got his girls


herts_hatter aka John O'Cahan was created in the void between reality and the kingdom of dreams in 1337. He spent his time playing music, going down the pub, watching Luton Town, and making odd comments and jokes. He suffered from several diseases, including Lynx, Canada and Death. The results can be seen in his bizarre fantasies he created in Uncyclopedia.

A rather accurate representation of John


He left this world the same way he entered it: a fridge fell on his head. To this day, no-one knows quite how, but we will still all miss him dreadfully.

“They say the fridge never worked quite so well afterwards.”

~ Oscar Wilde on John

“It was a great loss for the Co-op, he was so good at shelf stacking.”

~ Some Co-op Drone on John

“We regret to inform you that you are now dead. Please mind the gap.”

~ The Thameslink Tannoy on John's death

John's articles[edit]

^ = cowritten with penguinofdeath