At least I was.
The EPA has become really stringent about emission standards.
- Found this Ninjastar on the ground walking home. Or who knows, maybe it found me, like a Harry Potter wand or something. Point is, I've been using the Ninjastar to carve lightning bolts into the foreheads of children ever since.
- This article was featured for some reason. I printed it out and left it in my parents mailbox with a note that said "All those years of chaining me up in the basement didn't prepare you for this! I'm famous!"