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“Not a true master of the Smash Brawl universe... Or any video game universe for that matter.”
“My son, he really is a prick...”
“He cleans a car like he wipes his ass...”
“He's a nice boy. Yet he seems to be plotting against me.”
“HI MOM!!! ”
“He's not the antichrist, he's an anti-GOD!!!”
“Madre de Dios!!”
“Damn you're sexy...”
J!mmy is in fact not his real name. His real name which is harder to pronounce than anything known to man, appart from his uncle's name, Cthulhu. By the age of 2, everyone decided it was easier to give him a human name, and spare eachother the brain aneurisms. They decided to call him Adrian Thorn,NOT Damian, as portrayed in that falsely misguided popculture flick, The Omen. Once again, the media fucked it up, so he decided that J!mmy would be easier. Now he resides in the middle of nowhere, where he tries to blend in with everyone, while he searches for the answer to that everlasting question: Why does God not play with us anymore?
Why should people love J!mmy?
J!mmy never hurt anyone, except everyone else, so why not love him. Here are some simple facts to persuade you:
- Surgeon General's warn you to stay away from tobacco, J!mmy is not tobacco.
- J!mmy is everyone's favorite flavor: Artificial.
- Kewkky says so...I mean, they do hang out, and Kewkky hasn't died.
- His girlfriend Nany hasn't died...yet.
- He loves little furry animals...Oh yes he does.
- self explanatory: Cunnilingus
- Condom World carries dildos with his name and likeness.
Life story made short
Kewkky's Analisis on J!mmy's role on Earth
Kewkky passed out before he could actually finish this...
Diet a la J!mmy
- Cheddar Ruffles with Squeeze Cheeze
- Coke...and we mean the soda
- Cookies...not Kewkky, contrary to popular belief.
J!mmy's Belief System
- God is an imaginary friend created so that people can blame Him for the bad things in the world.
- Sins are forgiven if done without really wanting to do them.
- Life is a vicious circle, so you should buy a skateboard.
- Kewkky and God are not the same person, although they have similar functions on Earth.
The 10 Commandments by J!mmy (revised by Kewkky)
- Love God before others.
- You are your own God.
- Masturbate daily, saves you from prostate cancer.
- Every time you masturbate God kills and Emo kid
- Therefore you are helping exterminate a plague...GOOD JOB!!!
- Kewkky gets dibbs on the KFC.
- J!mmy gets dibbs on the next ass that walks into the room...Unless she's fat or ugly, then again, Nany would kill him, so the next ass to walk into the room is for Krakr
- Um....I don't recall writing an eigth commandment.
- Sex is good for you.
- Do not kill, unless it is a fuzzy bunny about to kill you.
- Always get your numbers wrong..Or else Kewkky will disown your ass.
STILL WORKING ON THIS