User:Jacjohncoles/Munich

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Munich (Also known as Toytown, or M√ľnchen)
Official nickname Oktoberfest
Official language(s) Drunken roars, turkish
Mayor Christian Ude
Established 1970, shortly after the Reich realised they had nowhere to put the olympic games.
Currency beer, turks, weird clockwork dolls that dance around in towers, but break half the time anyway.
Opening hours Near the end of September to the start of October (Oktoberfest)

If you're looking for the Oktoberfest or Beer, you're in the wrong place, so piss off!

The city of Munich is the Reich's dump for turks and drunk australians. WARNING! BY TRAVELLING TO MUNICH WITHOUT A GUIDE YOU WILL BE CAUGHT IN THE CITY'S INSANE AUTOBAHN NETWORK!
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Number of tourists stuck on Munich autobahns and unable to get off:

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History[edit]

Founded in 1970 in order for the Reich's secret plans to blow up the olympics in 1972. The plan was then foiled as the bomb intended for the planefull of tourists went off in the athletes changing room. This was one of the reasons that gay men are no longer permitted in the olympics. We definitely DO NOT want a repeat of that behaviour!

Munich is often confused with the larger city, Freising, located just north of Munich. Freising was established in the year 20AD during Jesus Christ's live tour of Europe. Unable to find a place to stay, he crawled for days and days, eventually coming to a door. He reached up, and scrabbled at the door. It was opened, and an old woman looked down at him. "What the hell do you want? Piss off, you drunk bastard!" And so it was, that Jesus found Freising, six houses further along the path.

They needed a large example for all the city to see

In 1980 the Frauenkirche was built, in an attempt to further the youth's education on safe sex.

What you're in for today[edit]

As was mentioned before, the first thing you'll suffer is a few lifetimes in the Munich Autobahn network.