User:JackOfSpades/Vans Warped Tour conspires against San Deigo college student

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9 May 2009


San Diego, California – Vans, the shoe company, is sponsoring a large number of bands on their tour across most of the United States. The dates from specific cities have already been set, the only thing left is to wait for forty days until the tour officially begins.

Unfortunately, the specific timing of the concerts themselves leaves much to be desired. You see, a certain poor college student has to go back home to Seattle for the summer because he can’t afford to stay in San Diego, and he then has to arrive a week early for school because of a “leadership” program.

And so, the specific dates that this specific student is specifically driving down just happen to be the exact days that the Vans Warped Tour leaves Seattle to come down to San Diego. The fact that this student is me doesn’t help matters much either.

Now some people might think I’m crazy, but I think the fact that the exact day that I leave Seattle and the exact day that I get into San Diego are the exact days that the tour plays in those cities is a little bit convenient for me not being able to see either show.

You may ask yourself:

Does he have proof that they’re intentionally avoiding him?” which, honestly, is a question you should have asked me instead of yourself, but I will answer it anyway; of course I have proof!

Unfortunately this proof is in the form of a schedule for my return home which I can’t find at the moment. The reason I can’t find it is it’s been stolen! By who I don’t know. Probably Less Than Jake or NOFX.

Those guys freaking hate me coming to their concerts and telling them I hate all their music then asking for autographs.

Now, I don’t mind not being able to see my favorite bands all play at once. Well not really all at once that would be stupid and bad, but you know what I mean.

Being avoided by your favorite band is much different than just missing a concert. I’ll give you some time to think up your favorite band, and then imagine what I’d be like if they stopped a concert just because you showed up

Yeah, hurts doesn’t it? Well I mean it hurts you. Doesn’t really hurt me cuz your favorite band is probably shit.

Now imagine how much it would hurt if your favorite band was actually good…

Ah yeah, there’s the pain I’m feeling.