User:Joe9320/Pokemon Island

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“WELCOME TO GIRATINATON!”

~ Prime Minister on Pokémon Island
関東島国
Kantō-shima Koku
Kanto (official: The Republic of The Pokémon Islands)
The flag symbolizes the intense burning spirit of the Japanese people. It's actually their intense burning arteries and intestine from seppuku. Official coat of arms of Pokemon Island
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: SATAN, I CHOOSE YOU!!!
Anthem: Pokemon
Expert's depiction of Pokemon Island. Note the bridge to Hell.
Capital Karanakhston (formerly Saffron)
Largest city Giratinaton (The Giratinaton/Karanakhston Metropolis is the largest city in population and size)
Official language(s) Japanese, English, Engrish, Pokemon language, Mexican, 1337
Government Liberal Force of Miss Jennys
‑ Prime Minister Giratina
Population 108,280,000 (2008)
Ethnic groups Japanese (100%)
National Hero(es) Pikachu Bin Laden, Satan, Mudkip, Dick Cheney
Established 1889
Currency Poké
Religion Scientology
Major exports Slave Pokémon, shit, blood, rice and electronic equipment
Major imports Slave Pokémon, vehicles, sex toys and useless junk

Pokémon Island, also known as Kantō to natives, is a wealthy country where all Pokémon are held slaves to battle. It is also a major port to hell, and has a bridge that connects to it.

History[edit]

Until 1889, Kantō is a small group of four city-states. These city states are called Kantō, Kansai, Houen and Shinō. In 1889, the ruler of Kantō, Satōshi, conquered all of the states and united them together to create Kantō. During the early 1900s, Kanto enjoyed rapid economic growth similar to that of China today. But Kanto was so popular that it was given the shits by its neighbours, so they invaded Korea and South-East Asia and thus started World War II- hang on, that's Nazi Germany.

“I shit on your face!”

~ Emperor Satoshi on their neighbours

After World War II, Pokémon Island renounced war forever, and started to rely on their small military for protection. In 1969, Pokémon Island entered the United Nations. During the 1960s and the 1970s, Kantō once again grew rapidly. Today, Pokémon Island is a nuclear waste dump bustling stadium with adoring fans. The Pokémon slaves have been forced to huff kittens to increase work production and the bridge has become very popular, even though it's on the verge of breaking. But it wasn't long until PETA finds out who killed the Pokémon innocently- the Prime Minister itself!

Economy[edit]

The economy revolves around Pokémon slave trading, manufacturing and finance. Half of the economy engages in agriculture, where they farm rice, shit and yes, Pokémon. The main trading partners are Hell, Japan, China and the USA. In the services sector, Pokémon slavery exists. Many Pokémon were forced to work on farms until they die. Some are forced into sex slavery, with the Pokémon Gardevoir and Lopunny being the two most common Pokémon hoes in brothels. Slaves are normally sold for 300 Pokédollars each to slave drivers. Pokémon Island are one of the places in the world where you can commonly find slavery. Manufacturing is the third biggest economy in Kanto.

In early Pokémon Island days, slave Pokémon were sold to America and China illegally for high prices. However, PETA discovered the bribes and cut off all shipments of Pokémon for 10 years. The economy plummeted, delaying tournaments and causing a Great Depression. Soon, though, natives found out children could be stripped of their cash with merchandise. Soon Pokémon sex toys, weaponry, and graphic tees were mass-marketed, bringing back the wealth to the island. Today, the economy is mainly connected to merchandise and illegal Pokémon trading.

Culture[edit]

The natives of Pokémon Island have a custom of 10-year old kids capturing slave Pokémon in metal balls. They go unsupervised across the island, partaking in battles with other kids. Adults stay home all day eating chips, or usually studying Pokémon. The natives, despite the population being 70% pedophiles, do not believe in spying and freely travel across cities and toxic waste dumps.

Illegal Trading[edit]

Slave Pokémon are not only illegaly traded crosscountry, but also throughout the island. The trader would first examine the Pokémon he/she's getting and recieve it, giving a Pokémon in return. Most are traded with items like cocaine, vibrators, and LSD.

Gym Battles[edit]

A normal Trainer usually would go to an abandoned gym to see if his/her Pokémon is strong enough to beat the Gym "leader" and get a badge. There are sixteen gyms on the island, each stronger and more sex-resistant than the last.

Food[edit]

The cuisine of Pokémon Island varies from region to region. In the north, rice porridge boiled in milk from Miltank is eaten.

Silph Co.[edit]

See main article, Silph Co., and get a free Porygon!

Silph Co. is a computer-making company that is run by communists.Porygons and hacking machines are made here.It is currently located in the middle of Pokemon Island, and has a mini airport that ships pirated Pokemon video games across the world, like Windows FireRed/LeafGreen and Pokemon (the text game).


See Also[edit]