“Warning: mysoq_connect(): Can't connect to local MySOQ server trough for more socks '/var/run/mysqld/myold.sock' (11) in /data/rpol/webdocs/lib/rubadub.dub on line 616 Could not connect: Can't connect to local MySOQ server through for more socks '/var/run/mysqld/myleft.sock' (11)”
Behold - The Article (well, once we get our sorry asses to it...) Roleplay Online was hatched out of a dragonturkey egg by jase (Spelling was considered rather redundant in the Good Old Days, and as many old school gamers, jase never quite got the hang of uppercases) as a pet project, that unfortunately overgrew any expectations it's owner might have had for the creature. This constituted a major problem, until he managed to purchase a larger cave system somewhere in Australia to accommodate this larger than life monster (approximately an order of magnitude larger than the next largest active play-by-post RPG bundle).
- 1 History
- 2 Features of RPoL
- 2.1 Sensitive Content Help System
- 2.2 Visually appalling content
- 2.3 Anonymity
- 2.4 Animosity
- 2.5 Multiple Personas
- 2.6 For teh
- 2.7 For everybody
- 3 On jase an the Wardens
- 4 RPoL Dating Service
- 5 Goal of this Article
The creature referred to hereafter as "RPoL" was an honest to god mistake, and to everyone's surprise, wasn't aborted before the eighth trimester, but was nurtured to adulthood by jase, who can't have all his marbles accounted for. Since the creature has over the years attracted a surprisingly high number of followers, some people confuse the term RPoL with the cult of RPoL, and we're not bothering to correct them. Lately it has also often been used to refer to a website dedicated to the worship of the creature. All in all, RPoL can refer to all of the above interchangeably, and be rather confusing.
In it's early stages, the creature and the cult that followed were a small in group thing that barely caught the eye of occasional passers by.
For the moment, RPoL is walking the thin line between Golden Age and Past Glory and has done so for the past sixty years. Some observers have noticed a frightening increase in freeform RPGs, which some say is one of the first doomsday signs (other signs are the sudden turning of the Main Menu to Green, and the increasing variation of the contents of Sticky Lists between users. Some theories exist on the immediate collapse of RPoL were someone ever able to balance their Sticky List to the pixel, and a secret script has been introduced by jase to prevent this from happening).
In it's Golden Age RPoL has reached the startling number of 82 non-Warden worshippers, which is an all time low result. Also the number of long gone gamer comebacks has set rumours about impending doom going. Is RPoL facing it's demise, or is this a start of a new and glorious age? That must be determined by taking a glimpse at the future, all the way to the year 2000...
The Future of RPoL
In recent years, the creature has overgrown it's dungeon, and jase is doing all within his power to find a better suitable one for this monstrosity, which is slowed down by getting constantly stuck in the narrow corridors of it's habitat dungeon. Ayer's Rock has been suggested as a possible new habitat to this creature, but the Aborigines have filed a protest in eight copies of form 4674.44.2 subcategory B and gone through the trouble of bribing the Down Under Parliament, which means the sale of the rock is highly unlikely to be approved. jase has initiated talks with Sauron concerning the possible purchase of the Mordor Dungeon Complex and has also been preparing for the acquisition of the Pentagon as a backup plan.
A Note On Socks
It was first believed that the creature that would become known as RPoL was hatched with only 2 feet. However, this number seems to be increasing as more recently it would appear that it has run out of socks. If the number of feet indeed is binary, then it would appear that the main ingredient of a meal for RPoL would be socks, and thus why it cannot work without said item of clothing. Efforts have been made by the brave Wardens to acquire enough socks for this creature to function properly, but it has been deemed that it is a near impossible task without some external assistance. For this the Order of Sockpuppets was founded. The Order of the Wardens also accepts sock donations and has enlisted Winged Monkey Bots™ to steal people's left socks, which has caused chaos and general disarray in the average population, who seem to think it's their own sloppiness that causes the socks to vanish.
Features of RPoL
Sensitive Content Help System
Visually appalling content
- RPoL takes all possible measures to ensure that the content seen on screen is appropriate to the roleplay theme of the site and not visually jarring, however some colours schemes have been reported to cause nausea, uneasiness, anxiety, mild annoyance and migraines. Attempts have been made to fix the situation to no avail. RPoLians generally seem to blame Socks or Gremlins for the problem. Other suspects have been Thanksgiving, Christmas and St. Patrick's day, when the overall theme of the complex seems to get a greenish tone.
Enhanced Message Formatting
- RPoL supports many HTML-like commands. These include, but are not limited to; bald, italian, undermine,
strikeout, superswift, subsways, minors, tables, chairs, silverware, quoting, spoilers and different font styles that are all designed to make the text even more fun for RPoLians to decipher while they enjoy their regular meal of Coke and fast food).
- Over 15 colour schemes are available on the site to suit every user's preference, these include Magenta, Cyan, Grasshopper Green, Leprechaun Green, Pink, Pinkish Green, Orange and
Rainbow . The most popular colour scheme, despite numerous attempts to recreate the original's enthusiastic reaction by introducing new colours, is still the BSoD.
- The site has made sure that all users are confuddled by who they are actually playing with, and to hide the fact that most female characters in games on RPoL are in fact played by balding middle aged males residing alternatively in their parents' or grandparents' attics or basements. This gives hope to all those who think that this "Cherry the Porn Star" might actually this time really be a hot chick.
- It has been reported that certain gaming factions at RPoL consider themselves to be enemies bound to a civil war by oaths of blood. These blood feuds are most commonly declared over whether or not the first or second revision rules of the Dungeons & Dragons 3rd edition should be considered the superior. Factions of these D20 gamers may however ally themselves in a joint effort against a more recent grouping, the fearsome freeformers and experimental gamers.
- The gamers are encouraged to utilise their real life disorders to their best advantage, administering as many characters per player's alternative personalities as possible, thus making up for the obvious lack of gamers in certain categories.
- It is a common occurrence that RPoL's GMs occasionally go on hiatus due to inexplicable cases of Paranoid Schizophrenia and Multiple Persona Disorder, not to mention the occasional twist of ADHD, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The reasons for these sudden disappearances of the GMs are occasionally quite inexplicable, but suspicions have been directed at the missing of socks driving some game owners to the brink of madness. The truth may never be discovered.
- To confuddle players more and keep the rest out of the loop, RPoL offers different sorts of private groups and clubs for the Dungeon Masters ("DM") and their minions. Players have in vain attempted to make sense of these groups, but at least a few better known VIP clubs have enlisted some prime Uruk-Hai specimens as bouncers, and disappearances of desperate gamers attempting to access these clubs have occurred.
- As every well used cave system, even RPoL has to some extent been mapped, however the maps are often of poor quality, done in paint or in a shaky hand with pencil and pizza stains covering texts saying "trap" or "here be monsters". This has resulted in the deaths of several adventurers who thought they were taking a shortcut to the dice pool, but instead ended up being devoured by various creatures from their DM's worst nightmares, which have to be bad, since they have, according to recent polls done by independent surveyors, these DMs often live still at home with their mothers or other parents or grandparents.
Game Advertising Forum
“Playerz needud! Awesome DnD 3.5 ed. Dungin Crawl! Cum join us NOW!!1!!”
- A forum has been specifically designed to allow all GMs a place to fairly advertise their games. However it seems that the best games are those only a select few know about. This means that most game ads in fact are redundant, and may result in DMs losing quality gamers due to the lack of professional proof-readers. Some have argued that hiring spell checkers would increase the pace at which RPoL runs out of socks, and thus far, the votes have been against such a solution.
- RPoL has supported private lines since it hatched in August 2000. This allows users to insert text in public (or private) messages that is only visible to the characters they choose to harass. Despite numerous attempts to remove this feature, any attempts have been crushed by the harassers who are after all a majority of the users.
- A GM can establish a character sheet for each character in the game. These character sheets are private, and the GM can either block or allow the character owner from editing the sheet. Of course most Dms block this ability, citing that it would give the players too much control over their own characters.
- Each character owner can create a publicly visible description for their character.
- RPoL has over seventy thousand high quality portraits available for every users selection. Submitted by users and tweaked by the portrait managers, portraits of fixed size and quality are stored in RPoL's portrait galleries, from which they can be rented for any RPoLian's use in exchange for a hefty sum of Australian Dollars.
- Two short lines (entered by the character owner) accompany every post a character makes, allowing users to put in any little tid-bits they like to add to the flavour. Popular choices include race, gender, class, stats or brief personality descriptions.
- Within each game a user has their own private "ScatchPad" to maintain their own notes. This ScratchPad is not visible to any other member on the site, not even Moderators nor the site's administrators and is therefore considered to be a great place for storing ASCII porn.
- One of the more sadistic elements of RPoL is the Dice Roller. This is an ingenious misnomer, as unlike popular belief that this an algorithm based around the mathematical constant of Pie, that is used to generate a pseudo random number. The dice roller is in fact a gremlin, whom through constant watch of threads you are in, decides which dice roll could be the worst possible out-come for your character and as such gives you that number. There have been repeated attempts by the Wardens to rid us of this Gremlin. However each time it would appear that he/she/it spews enough results at them, that they give up in disgust.
It must be noted that through the liberal usage of coke flavoured Lollies, the Gremlin can be bribed by the GM into allowing the GM to substitute one value for another.
- This is only if offered Coke Flavoured Lollies, never offer anything else. Again the same must be said for GMs. People whom have attempted this and failed to comply without the flavour nor being a GM, have so far yet to be rediscovered.
- Private messages are fully supported. A character can post a private message to any other character that they have a group in common with. The DM can always read and edit these messages, as befits the DMs evil will.
- A user can also communicate to other users via "rMail", RPoL's own internal mail system. Functioning much like any other internal email system, rMail also allows users to contact the owner of a character within a game in a manner that does not breach the anonymity that RPoL provides unless each party opts to.
RPoL itself is under constant development, having undergone 6 "major" revisions and 47 "minor" revisions over its (at the time of this comment) seven year history.
On jase an the Wardens
In order to maintain control of the monstrous creature known as RPoL, jase appointed a carefully selected group of individuals as Wardens of RPoL, whose everyday tasks entail the surveillance of other RPoLians, their doings and handiwork, cleaning up other people's messes and escorting minors back to the common room from the VIP club. These Wardens are both feared and respected, and have conveniently placed pretty little stars on their posts marking them as Wardens. It is best to think of them as the last frontier in the defence against geeky chaos. (Currently the Wardens consist of the follow individuals Jhael, Shannara, jase, IronSite, elSpike, Skald, bigbadron & cruinne)
RPoL Dating Service
To the absolute astonishment and bewilderment of all involved, RPoL and it's geek friendly enviroment have in fact led to the unexpected side effect of several lonely geeks finding each other on RPoL. An interesting pattern is that observers have reported an increasing movement of (mainly) British English speaking male geeks to Sweden and elsewhere in Scandinavia. Which proves that there must be a healthy Swedish female geek population and that there might still be hope to
us all those less fortunate on the dating market.
Although it is a sad fact that 99,598332% of all female RPoLians are either taken, jail bait or swing the other way.
This is a site where
I'm really active I think have been by mistake on some occasion...
Goal of this Article
- Make quality humour
- Write at least as long an article as the one on Wikipedia, and IMPROVE on it to the level of awesomeness. This should earn a feature when it's done, or not be written at all... "Roleplay Online (RPoL) is a play-by-post role-playing game website. With thousands of active games and users, RPoL is the largest active play-by-post website (approximately an order of magnitude larger than the next largest active play-by-post website)." - based on this Wikipedia quote, ANY article can be better... ;)
- Make sure it is fun for both RPoLians, geeks and random stumblers alike
Make sure to add:
- World of Darkness
- Freeform (Not to forget that this is most rule-heavy system)
- Soliloquy is a darn good sample of rule heavy freeform... ;)
- Parents against Dungeons and Dragons
- Dice pool
* jase and The Wardens (RPoL mods)
- Mention of the Chatroom and etiquette