User:Martinultima

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Welcome to User:Martinultima’s Page

The conveniently cheap userpage that nobody in their right minds should edit

Main Page

Today's Featured Article - Ceiling Cat

Recently featured:

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Yesterday's Featured Article -

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Featured today, a long long time ago

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Sovereign citizen, featured on 19 April 2016. See the featured version.
Uncyclopedian, featured on 19 April 2015. See the featured version.
UnNews:Man's nipples fall right off, featured on 19 April 2013. See the featured version.
UnNews:'Lights Out' For Norway, featured on 19 April 2013. See the featured version.

Featured one year ago today

Featured.png UnScripts:Titanic Wireless Transmissions Conspiracy, featured on 19 April 2018.

Salem witch trials, featured on 19 April 2011. See the featured version.

Did you know...

  • ...that Twilit Parasite Diababa is a giant enemy plant that comfortably resides at the bottom of a dungeon in a pool of acid?
  • ...and that Link must defeat it before it wreaks havoc on the uninhabited dungeon behind its heavily locked door?
  • ...that Twilit Parasite Diababa is a giant enemy plant that comfortably resides at the bottom of a dungeon in a pool of acid?
  • ...and that Link must defeat it before it wreaks havoc on the uninhabited dungeon behind its heavily locked door?
  • ...that Twilit Parasite Diababa is a giant enemy plant that comfortably resides at the bottom of a dungeon in a pool of acid?
  • ...and that Link must defeat it before it wreaks havoc on the uninhabited dungeon behind its heavily locked door?
  • ...that Twilit Parasite Diababa is a giant enemy plant that comfortably resides at the bottom of a dungeon in a pool of acid?
  • ...and that Link must defeat it before it wreaks havoc on the uninhabited dungeon behind its heavily locked door?

In the news

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On this day...

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April 19: Clitoris Awareness Day Among gamers known as Explosion Day

  • 30,000 BC - The first clitoris is born.
  • 1559 - University of Padua, Italy recognizes the clitoris' existence.
  • 1775 - In a New York study on human sexual behavior, researches find the clitoris to be more important to female sexual pleasure than the actual vagina. Men with small penises find new hope.
  • 1907 - The first vibrator is introduced in France.
  • 1913 - The sale of vibrators are banned in France, due to electrical grid overload issues.
  • 1941 - Roberto Carlos, formerly Brazil's greatest manwhore (presently a widower), is born in Cachoeiro de Itapemirim. Many clitorii become excited.
  • 1957 - Oral sex becomes a popular alternative to intercourse. Condom sales decline.
  • 1969 - Clitoris piercing becomes a popular fad.
  • 1998 - Windows 98 is released. Memory leaks in the OS cause Bill Gates to be declared the "World's Biggest Clitoris".
  • 1990 - Clinton had oral sex with two girls from next door.
  • 2007 - Wikipedia Celebrates The First Ever International Main Page Huffing Day. [1]
  • 2007 - Aperture Science launches their Bring-your-daughter-to-work day, which is the perfect time to have her tested for STDs.
  • 2011 - Aperture Science launches new official holiday, supposedly better than Christmas. Due to large numbers of explosions during the destruction of their facilities, the day is named Explosion Day. Nobody knows why.

Today's featured picture

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Recent Articles

Generic Dog | The Fundamentalist Church of Megan Fox | Hipster | Muffin the Mule | Battle of Trafalgar | Hmor | Eugene Ionesco | London Beer Flood | Lingerie | AdventureQuest | Lasagne | Julian Assange | Not-So-Intelligent Design | UnScripts:Waiting For Breivik 2: The Breifist | Disney | Peacock | Alternative legal systems | HowTo:Scar your children for life | Sturgeon | Beta Fish | Cafeteria food | GameSpot | Simon Cowell | Citizens United | Mountain Dew | Sustainability | White-haired Asian Scientist | Ben Affleck | Rocks (rw) | Fancy |


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Martinultima’s Scratchboard
In the same vein as Slate Industry in Wales:

Postage stamps of Ireland are the postage stamps issued by the postal authority of the independent Irish state.”

~ Captain Obvious on Wikipedia's featured article on August 14, 2007

Get Franklinstein here VFP-ready:
Franklinstein-signing-detail.jpg

And get Franklinstein here VFH-ready...
My Latest Articles
Benjamin Franklinstein PEE VFH
Jolt Cola PEE -
Complete Bibliography
8/3/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B...
7/22/2007 Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now)
7/21/2007 UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!)
Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber.
7/4/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein
7/4/2007 Jolt Cola (rewrite)
Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg
7/3/2007 Norelcopee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...)
Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order!
6/26/2007 The Human Element – waiting for pee review
6/19/2007 Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show.
2/15/2007 Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}})
2/10/2007 National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes)
2/9/2007 UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!"
2/5/2007 Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace)
2/5/2007 Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic)
1/18/2007 Jolt Cola
1/16/2007 UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe
6/3/2006 Minimalist talk page
6/3/2006 Deep Note
3/4/2006 Geocities (really crappy original version)
1/9/2006 I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates)
11/30/2005 Celine Dionide
11/20/2005 Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg
11/3/2005 UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers
Articles Images WTF?