User:Mashedpotatowithsomegravy/TPS!

This user's current duty
is to patrol for
FFW Candidate Articles.

I was blocked from Uncyclopedia, and all I got was this lousy template! Mashedpotatowithsomegravy/TPS! has been blocked from Uncyclopedia for misconduct. May its sad fate serve as a warning to others. Make Uncyclopedia better, not worse. Stop the cycle of violins.

Hi there, Mashedpotatowithsomegravy/TPS!. Thanks for trying out the "Edit this page" feature that makes this site run. Your test has been, or at least will be, removed. I am providing a few links that will help you improve your edits.

• Help:Contents has a few good links
• How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid—Very important
• Practice your editing skills in the Sandbox.
• Create your own sandbox by making a user subpage. Of course, you can name it anything you want.

If you have any questions or comments, leave a message on my talk page, or at the Village Dump. Thanks in advance for reading this, and I really hope you can contribute much more to Uncyclopedia.

Oh Dear!

Hello, Mashedpotatowithsomegravy, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! 

I was blocked from Uncyclopedia, and all I got was this lousy template! Mashedpotatowithsomegravy/TPS! has been blocked from Uncyclopedia for misconduct. May its sad fate serve as a warning to others. Make Uncyclopedia better, not worse. Stop the cycle of violins.

Through no fault of my own, I got Screwed by the System. I feel like such a dirty bitch now.

This user has found Jesus, and is therefore no longer a threat to society.

This user has found Jesus and is therefore a potential threat to society.

This User is too Damn Sexy! If you saw this user it's possible that you might fall to the ground and worship him/her, or spontaneously combust from a sex drive overload.

This user is on vacation, sabbatical, administrative leave, or is otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. Or, more likely, they've buggered off without saying boo to anyone. Their expected date of return is {{{date}}}. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message.

{{{1}}} will work for food.

This user is proud to use a Mac

Supergrass This Stool Pigeon User is hereby cited for sterling work on Ban Patrol and/or QVFD.

The Joseph McCarthy Award of Continuity

mr mccarthy is a twitchin machine who loves to give and get smarties from little kids. He is a math teacher... Kinda.

---

---

Shhhhhh! This is a humour free zone.

Congratulations You have won the Unsung Hero Award! Of course once you earn this award you are no longer "Unsung." Therefore the award is invalid as soon as it's awarded. So enjoy your non-award.

Featured Image This image has been featured on the front page—you can vote or nominate your favourite pictures at Uncyclopedia:VFP. If you enjoyed (or didn't enjoy) this image, then we're glad (or sorry). Note: If you are the author, and wish to have this image temporarily or permanently unprotected, please contact an administrator.

Nominated UnBook
This article has been nominated for highlighting on the UnBooks front page—you can vote for it or nominate your favourite articles at UnBooks VFH. Please see this article's entry.

THIS {{{what}}} HAS WON A ~~ JESSE AWARD ~~

Pi Award This user has been a good uncyclopedian, and therefore gets pi. KEEP YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF IT!

Congratulations! You have now been admitted to the PITs. Due to your stellar performance in side stepping issues and an exemplary ability redirect the focus of the topic at hand to another completely irrelevant theme, you are hereby recognized as a Politician in Training. Just don't get any ideas about my job or you'll be out on your keester so fast you won't even have time to wave goodbye.

chidar

Feather in Your Cap Award This person has done something very helpful for Uncyclopedia, and thus is deserving of a Feather in His Cap. Respect this person.

Mega Deletion Award! This Admin has successfully beaten the crap out of many, many articles in rapid succession. Fear them greatly.

The Burninator! This User is hereby cited for extreme diligence in the deletion of crap. Fear them.

Alien Burninator! This User is hereby cited for extreme diligence in warding off an Alien Invasion

Squeegee Warrior This user is hereby cited for excellent work in cleaning up messy articles.

Congratulations! You have been invited to be an administrator [1]. (Which is not an admin, btw.) Please sign your name here. Acceptance is mandatory. Resistance is futile. "I was invited to be an administrator, and all I got was this lousy template!" This message has been Bob Barker-approved.

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Sophia is happy with you award This person has been a good boy and/or girl, and therefore deserves approval from a divine potato. --Sophia

Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia. They should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move.

Her Majesty's Royal Flying Rat's Ass This person has found a way to actually receive this medal. They should be very proud of themselves for that.

Award of Confusion! Apparently this article is damned funny. It is not an inside joke or vanity page, but you pretty much need a PhD to get it. Or so we've been told, most of us seem to prefer humour involving masturbation and/or Jesus. The author may have been masturbating over a picture of Jesus. You can send him to hell by giving him an atomic fisting. This is both an award and a warning, direct as used.

[[Image:{{{Image}}}|53px]]

Featured Image: [[:Image:{{{Image}}}|{{{Image}}}]] This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia.

[[Image:{{{Image}}}|53px]]

Featured Image: [[:Image:{{{Image}}}|{{{Image}}}]] This person came up with the idea, but did not posess the proper skills, for an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia.

[[Image:{{{Image}}}|53px]]

Featured Article Image [[:Image:{{{Image}}}|{{{Image}}}]] This user created an image which was shown with the featured article on the front page.

Featured Article: [[{{{Article}}}]] This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

[{{{link}}} {{{image}}}] {{{heading}}}

Member of the Order

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/e/e0/OUN.png Officer of the Order

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/0/03/OUN_ret.png Retired Officer of the Order

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/0/07/CUN.png Commander of the Order

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/6/6e/KUN.png Knight Commander of the Order

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/8/8a/DUN.png Dame Commander of the Order

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/8/87/GUN.png Grand Cross of the Order

This foul knave hath been slain. If this is thy talk page, please note that thou art deceased. The great and noble knight {{{1}}} hath killed {{{2}}} with his lance because {{{2}}} is a nefarious evil-doer.

I Found Money Award This poor bastard ended up at Money$ign's user page from hidden links from various articles. Feel sorry for them. I do.

<center>This user is currently blocked for {{{time}}} , and in a perfect world would be thinking about what he/she did. See why this idiot has been turned off, and have a nice day!

	All Praise and Glory Be Theirs!
	This user has been promoted to the rank of Queen's Reader.
	Due to their site-topping talents in reading, all other chores formerly assigned to them have been rescinded.
	Unlike other ranks, this one is for life, and they will not be returning to their former tasks anytime soon.
	If you were hoping they would reply to a message, sorry to disappoint,
	but such a menial task is currently outside their job description.

The title of this article begins with a capital letter because computers are trying to take over the Earth, so pretend it says user:Mashedpotatowithsomegravy/TPS!.

user:Mashedpotatowithsomegravy/TPS!

left

The title given to this article is displayed incorrectly because some dickhead can't spell. Pretend it says {{{title}}} instead.

The title given to this article is displayed incorrectly because computers are trying to take over the Earth, so pretend it says {{{title}}}.

The title given to this article is displayed correctly. Only marketers think it's cool to put capital letters in the middle of words. If you're a marketer you can pretend it says {{{title}}}.

This article incorporates text from the 1768 Encyclopædia Britannica, which is strictly copyrighted if you truly and sincerely respect the author's copyrights.

Face it, it is nothing but a deadly crime to steal. We'd rather see you invading iRaq or leaving black people drowning in the flood than stealing the intellectual property that belongs to a hard-working honest author. You'll have a nice lovely summer vacation in Cuba if we catch you do this again.

http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-sa/2.0/88x31.png	This work is licenced under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 License.
	You're welcome to have your way with it, but only under those terms. Have a nice day.
CC-BY-SA

This article or image is a copyright violation. Luckily, nobody cares.

<center>

Permission is granted to copy, distribute, modify, huff and/or misuse this document under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License. Or not. You decide.

Licensed under absolutely nothing. Have a fucking field day. Abuse this for your own sick pleasures.

I am content releasing my work completely to the public without conservative, territorial, and possessive need to claim some sort of stake in it. I do not need thousands of cleverly written loophole-"some rights reserved" licenses, nor do I need to debate about the superiority of any of them, rather, I toss the entire equation out the window and render it effectively useless. I fully realise that a man in El Salvador could profit wildly from my efforts and gain the millions of dollars I never did, and could theoretically hunt down every copy and burn it, leaving him as the sole distributor; however, this does not offend me, rather, I allow all to be shared, taking the risk and fully knowing the potential repercussions, rather than let the menace that is copyright conquer yet another soul.

Mr. T says: "This image is in Public Domain. Use it for whatever you want, foo'!" However, Mr. T is not always right. The source of this image may be unverified. Use at your own risk!

This is an edited, copydown image with pixels from various/ambiguous sources. The edits to this image are hereby released of any copyright by the uploader. However, the individual pixels may be a copyright violation. Use for any purpose at your own risk, I care not since Uncyclopedia has a fair use policy!

This is an edited image that has pixels pasted from ambiguous sources. The edits to this image are hereby released into public domain by the uploader. However, the individual pixels may be a copyright violation. Use for any purpose at your own risk, I care not!

This image is copywronged. The individual who uploaded this work and first used it in an article, and subsequent persons who place it into articles assert that this qualifies as unfair use of the material under United Statues copywrong låw. It is not fair to use this image for your own wallpaper, screensaver, or toilet paper production unless explicitly granted by the President of the United Kingdom of Amerika or your mom.

Poetry for people who hate poetry

Why?  This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's?

Why to

Why not to

Conclusion

Ad title - Ad text, this can be a few words or several lines. But if you abuse the system, your uncyclopedia account will be charge $10 USD per word...seriously! Call 1-800-302-9999

{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}
[[Category:{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}|Mashedpotatowithsomegravy/TPS!]]

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.

[[Category:{{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}|Mashedpotatowithsomegravy/TPS!]]

[[Category:{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}|Mashedpotatowithsomegravy/TPS!]] {{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}

Sources

• "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY

• "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.

[[Category:{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}|Mashedpotatowithsomegravy/TPS!]]

{{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}

Sources

• "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY

• "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY

Þings to Remæmber when writing þy UnScript

* Add þy templæt {{UnScriptsHeader}} to þe top of þou Script. Þe templæt hath the UnScript category so þou needeþ not to add it þy self. Add þy Script to Template:newunscripts Write homourous, criticizing commentary on þy Script in Template:laughspeareunscripts if good enough.

Music

The Scorpions

In the hidden track No One Likes Drew on the 1975 album In Trance, Rudolph Schenker of The Scorpions is heard to scream, "Ježišmária! Ty {{{2}}}!" at least three times. This is considered significant by arachnologists, as Schenker was not known to speak Slovak at the time of the recording. Klaus Meine can be heard shrieking like a lesbian deprived of her motorcycle in the background.

Theatre and Literature

Shakespeare

• In act 4, scene 2 of Troilus and Cressida, Hector says, "I would lief be thrust thr'u a quickset hedge as cry {{{3}}} to a callow {{{1}}}."

Television

Seinfeld

• In season 2, episode 9, Elaine says "Maybe {{{2}}} ate your baby".
• In season 7, episode 7, Kramer, Elaine, Jerry, and George compete to see who can go the longest without {{{3}}}.

Amos 'n' Andy

• In season 12, episode 9, the Kingfish tells Andy "Go an' fin' me one a dem {{{1}}} thangs".

Family Guy

• In season 4 episode 20 Stewie continually tries to beat Brian with {{{2}}}.

Fibber McGee and Molly

• In season 16, episode 11, Dr. Gamble is looking for {{{2}}}, and Fibber McGee opens his closet to look for one, with hilarious results.

I Love Lucy

• In season 1, episode 27, Ricky finds a stash of {{{3}}} in Lucy's purse.

Saturday Night Live

• In seasons 20 through 23, a recurring gag has Molly Shannon wearing {{{2}}} on top of her head.

The Simpsons

• In season 2, episode 4, Bart steal's Mrs. Krabappel's {{{1}}}.
• In season 4, episode 8, Homer picks his nose with {{{2}}}.
• In season 8, episode 16, Grandpa explains that in the olden days it was the style to wear {{{3}}} on one's belt.

South Park

• In season 1, episode 1, Cartman gets {{{2}}} shoved up his ass.
• In season 3, episode 4, Kenny is killed by a ferocious {{{1}}}.
• In season 5, episode 8, the boys befriend a talking {{{3}}} named "Mashedpotatowithsomegravyie".

Spongebob SquarePants

• In the original pilot episode of SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob's {{{1}}} can be found on his face.

This post includes content from Uncyclopedia which is available under the Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 license.

This page in a nutshell: {{{1}}}

You are creating a new Pee Review entry! Congratulations!

Please don't delete the {{Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Menu}}; that puts the menu at the top of the entry. Also, don't delete the [[Category:Pee Review]]; that puts your entry into the dynamic page list, ensuring that others will see your article.

Have fun!

Preview!

File:Preview.png Hello there. When editing an article, it's best to use the preview button before saving, and only use save when you're happy with how it looks. Using preview means you can see what your article looks like without making lots of small individual edits, which fill up Special:Recentchanges, making it more difficult to find vandalism. Using the preview button helps make the world a better place, so if you could use it in the future, we'll all be better off for it. Have a nice day!

• A total solar eclipse, lasting about four minutes, passes over Brazil, Africa, Turkey, Central Asia and Mongolia. The eclipse is partial across most of Africa, all of Europe, and much of western and southern Asia.
• Former Liberian President Charles Taylor, captured by Nigerian authorities after attempting to flee, is flown to Sierra Leone to face war crime charges.
• Abdul Rahman, a Christian in Afghanistan charged with apostasy from Islam, is granted political asylum in Italy.
• In Israel, the Kadima party wins plurality in the Knesset in the seventeenth legislative election.
• Over a million people in France take part in labor protests amid large strike actions against the new contrat première embauche.

1. Unacceptable content -- 1.1 Test passed -- 1.1.1 Test failed -- 1.2 Patented nonsense -- 1.2.1 Qua? -- 1.2.2 Permanently de-Chucking -- 1.3 Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia -- 1.4 Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia's trash bin -- 1.5 We don't care. Go away. -- 1.5.1 Codeine's Mum hasn't heard of you. Go away. -- 1.5.2 Wikipedia hasn't heard of you. Neither have we. -- 1.5.3 Myspace -- 1.6 Cyber-bullying -- 1.7 Ewwww! -- 1.7.1 Ewwww! -- 1.8 First, enlarge your penis -- 1.8.1 First, enlarge your breasts -- 1.9 Slandanity -- 1.A Blatant copyvio -- 1.B Not funny for sober people. Read HTBFANJS. -- 1.C What the BELGIUM? -- 1.D EPIC FAIL. -- 1.E Pointless redirect -- 1.F Drama 2. Administrative -- 2.1 QVFD -- 2.2 VFD -- 2.3 ICU expired -- 2.4 Abandoned WIP -- 2.5 User not found -- 2.7 Deleted per author request -- 2.7.1 Subpage deleted per user request -- 2.8 Stale pee removal 3. Technical -- 3.1 Unused image -- 3.1.1 Personal photo, not used -- 3.1.2 Duplicate image -- 3.1.3 Image violated Vanity Policies -- 3.2 Unused template -- 3.3 Empty category -- 3.4 Category moved -- 3.5 Broken redirect -- 3.6 Double redirect -- 3.7 Orphaned talk page -- 3.8 Blanked by author 4. ??? 5. Profit

Nominated UnBook
This article has been nominated for highlighting on the UnBooks front page—you can vote for it or nominate your favourite articles at UnBooks VFH. Please see this article's entry.

BREAKING NEWS: Walter Cronkite dies of news overload

How to take a crap

Taking a crap is great for your health, because it helps clear out your bowels. Learn how to do it like a pro at this page. Read on...

Africa | Antarctica | Asia | Australia | Europe | Euthanasia | Super Asia | North America | Central America | South America | Middle East

All regions, countries and topics

Welcome!

Hello, {{subst:BASEPAGENAME}}, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your [[Special:Contributions/{{subst:BASEPAGENAME}}|contributions]]. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
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If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

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I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, [[User:{{subst:BASEPAGENAME}}/Article about stuff]]) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

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If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome! 

Week of October 30

Week of October 30

Classic children's books to be modernized

A major publisher has announced plans to re-release a series of classic children’s books rewritten for today’s society. The publisher, Third Grade Level Publications, intends to release at least fifteen of the rewritten classics by the end of the year. → More

This article is a stub. The article submitter is a hack. You can help Uncyclopedia by expanding it.

Kate Bush has released a New album called Antennae of Elvis, and features songs such as La La La La La La and I am not sexy anymore, it is her first album for 99 years, and will not be released for another 99 years, get over it. Archeologists find proof of additional day of the week...

Today, archeologists find ancient documents written at the time when God created man. This is the story of the text that was uncovered. God accually created 9 days! God's highest angel, Chuck Norris, heard of this and though it was a bad idea. After discussing it with God, God decided he was right and Chuck was wrong. This made Chuck furious. So for 40 days and 40 nights God and Chuck fought over the days. On the 40th night, Chuck gave God and spireling roundhouse kick to the face and was declared the winner by Don King. Chuck decided to roundhouse kick one of the days into oblivion and keep the other day for himself. This day is known as "Leap-Year". As a friendly agreement, God and Chuck made Adam write this down and bury it in the garden of Eden. Then Chuck used the deneuralizer, (made popular by the Men in Black movies), on Adam so he could never tell a living soul.

• UN talks support unclean energy in unrich nations

U.F.O. found in Dick Chency's backyard!

Last night at approximitly 2:50 am a large u.f.o. with blinking lights was seen in dicks backyard which is "undisclosed". more to come! tune in!

More in now from Paige! Well Paige how is the vice president?

Well he appears ok as he seems to be exiting the craft along with.. himself... and uh another one of him, and another. Well it appears now that all seven... no wait eight dicks are ok, and are now ready to pillage the earth in search of the life blood they so dearly need to survive.

Thrilling. Up next, cute puppies!

• Marble Hills - a bachelor haven
• New member of the meat family
• Leap Second Protest Cancelled
• "We're Gay", announces half of Siamese Twins
• New Orleans to Reopen Airport January 1
• Bingo Follows CSI for Attendence Bonanza

• New Ayman al-Zawahiri tape aired on Arab TV
• Sure Start Toddles Forward
• What's hot in 2006, and who you'll be giving your money to
• Lost episode of Three's Company found

• Hit Series Israel Returns This January with New Season
• Three Automakers To Unveil Hybrid Plans
• Weapons Plant to Save $2 Per Year Through Energy Efficiency
• Earthlink announces new job openings
• Stern dropped from radio stations
• TV's My name is Earl is slated for many awards
• Pathetic fallacy hits UK
• JIF sues Wonka
• UnNews to get global random weather generator
• Microsoft re-starts security flaws
• Trailer Park Relocates toward storms
• New Calendar Recognized
• 2006 brought in for questioning
• All Men To Be Tagged

Wire Tappin' That?

Early this week, Scott MacLellan announced that the Bush Administration is going a to a more sexually oriented agenda. After a recent survey came out showing that men are more inclined to listen if sex is involved, it will take the bold step to make it's messages much more sexy. They have noted many ways in which they will do this such as referring to Iraq as vagina, and the US troops as a condom, and gay marriage as anal sex. Also, they have been sure to note that whenever bush talks about Katrina hitting New Orleans, he is NOT talking about the hurricane. They have also already planned to run uner the ticket, Bush/Dick 2008 for the next presidential elections.

"It's extremely lucky that the president and vice president both have names that contain slang referring to sexual reproduction," comments an anonymous member of the Bush Administration. John Kerry also commented on how he wished his name had been John Pussy and his runnings mate's(I made you read mates!) as Huge Tities during the 2004 elections. This has been deemed as the smartest thing the Bush Administration has done in a while. However, many have already been second guessing the adminstration.

One commie liberal bastard commented, "What's next?! We're going to Iran to reclaim a new, unreleased Paris Hilton sex tape?" In this reporters own opinion, that would be as hot as the temperature down there. More development as this story continues, but for right now, stay classy.

• What's hot in 2006, and who you'll be giving your money to.
• Lost episode of Three's Company found

• Hit Series Israel Returns This January with New Season
• Three Automakers To Unveil Hybrid Plans
• Weapons Plant to Save $2 Per Year Through Energy Efficiency

• Livedoor blows up TSE

• Bush boogles Google

• Whale swims through downtown London

• Global Warming Indicator explodes

• Jesus And 10 Prostitutes Found Dead In Hotel Room

• IRC Users Detained for Questioning

• President Bush announces Pioneer Retrieval Mission

• U.S.-Mexico drug tunnel discovered

• Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez

• 'Grandpa Munster' Al Lewis undead at 95

• Saddam requests asylum in USA

• Ex-Wal-Mart employee pleads guilty to fraud

• New Calendar Recognized
• 2006 brought in for questioning

American Politcains getting payed off

Today in Arkansas Bill Clinton annouced that Politcians were getting payed off by american loyalists...

http://img.tfd.com/authors/clinton.jpg

		The 12 Fundamental Cheeses
		Blue	Brie	Cheddar	Cheesus
		Chucky	Cream	Fromunda	Gouda
		Holy*	Jarlsberg	Swiss	Velveeta
		*Not to be confused with "Holey" Cheese
		The 3 Noble Cheeses
		Gourmet	No Gouda*	Whiz
		*Also known as "Negative Cheese" or "Dark Dematta"

2005 Atlantic hurricane season
Hurricane Dennis - Hurricane Katrina - Hurricane Marguerite - Hurricane Rita - Hurricane Wilma - Hurricane βeta

2007 Wikipedia hurricane season
Subtopical Storm Angela - Topical Storm Braydie - Topical Storm Codeine - Hurricane Dynorod - Hurricane El Hormiguero - Hurricane Flammable - Topical Storm Georgia - Hurricane Hinoa - Topical Storm Ibrahim - Tropical Depression 10 V2 - Topical Storm Jimbo - Topical Storm Keitei - Hurricane Led - Topical Storm Mhaille - Tropical Depression 15-Wuss - Hurricane Nintendorulez - Topical Storm Olipro

	This article is part of the recognizing 9/11 campaign. NEVER FORGET, BITCHES!!
	9/11 | World Trade Center | WTC7 | 9/11 (video game) | Nine Eleven | Jaws did WTC 911 WTC controlled explosion | Twin Towers | 9-Eleven | The Pet Goat | HowTo:Exploit 9/11

   v • d • e

  Apple Product Range  

iPods:	iPod - iPod Shuffle - iPod Mini - iPod Nano - iPod Yocto - iPod Yotta - iPod Macro - iPod Invisa - iPod mono - iPod Lo-Fi - iPod floppy - iPod chair - iPod Car - iPod IV - iPod Slim - iPod Huge - iCan't Believe It's Not iPod - iCan't Believe It's Not Butter
iDevices:	iMac - iNuke - iRon - iMath - iHamster - iRaq - iSuicide - iPoop - iOwa - iRak - iRan - iEyes - iBladder - iClothes - iBrows - iRack - iDiot
iHardware:	Cheese graters - Cast Spell Key - Applesauce - MacBook - MacBook Air - Euroipods - triPod - ehPod - YouPod - IHenge - iEarth
iSoftware:	iTunes - iMovie - Linux (Only For Mac) - Mac OS X - Mac OS 10.5 - Mac OS Y
i3rd Party Mods:	iPod Nano 200gb Instructions - üPod - phonePod - Video iPod Nano U2 HD - iTrip - Hacking the iPhone
iGaming:	iBox360 - iTari -General Grievous - iPodore 64 - iPodendo - iBoy
iLlnesses:	Neuroipods
iFelonies:	iFraud
iReligion:	Cult of Apple

[ v • d • e ]

The life, works and philosophy of Anonymous

Inventions	Alchemy · Anonymous phone calls · CamelCase · Emoticons · FORTRAN · Ligatures · Mess · Usenet · World Amnesia Games
Creative works	Anonymous quotations . Bible · Fascist · Fisher Price · Gay agenda · This page does NOT exist
12-step programs	Alcoholics Anonymous . Alcoholic Crackwhores Anonymous · Anonymous Anonymous · Falling Off Of A Roof Anonymous · Kitten Huffers Anonymous · Linux Users Anonymous · Narcotics Anonymous · Pathological Liars Anonymous · Time Travel Anonymous · Uncyclopedians Anonymous
Contemporaries	127.0.0.1 · 4.252.99.182 · AAA · Alan Smithee · Anonymous Slashy · Blank/Invalid · Doctor Who · Enemies of Doctor Who · Et al · Everyone else · Guest · John Doe · Kurt Cobain · Movie Trailer Announcer Guy · Nobody · Player · Professor X · So-And-So · Some people · Somebody · Someone · Someone else · That Gay · That Girl · The Girl Next Door · That Guy · This Guy · That One Guy · The Guess Who · The Who · To Whom It May Concern · Whatshisname · Whats His Name · Who · Whomever
Locations	The Middle of Nowhere · No fixed address · There

Awards, Decorations and Honours
	Awards	Order of Uncyclopedia · Awards, Decorations and Honours · Awards · Ninjastars
	Ranks & Honours	Writer of the Month · Uncyclopedian of the Month · n00b of the month UnBooks Author of the Month · Potatochopper of the Month · Reviewer of the Month Emmanuel Goldstein Award of Excellence in the Distribution of Misinformation · Foolitzer Prize UnScripts Playwright of the Month · Article Narrator of the Month Writer of the Year · Uncyclopedian of the Year · RadicalX of the Year Admin Rank · RYA · User Space Affiliations · Past Winners
	Limelight	VFH · VFP · Best of · Top 10 of 2005 · Top 10 of 2006 · Top 10 of 2007 · Top 10 of 2008 · Hall of Shame · Rating System
	Prix citron	Useless Gobshite of the Month · Useless Gobshite of the Year · Sockpuppeteer of the Month · FFS

I Can't Believe It's Not...:

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter | I Can't Believe It's Butter | I Can't Believe It's Not Hitler | I Can't Believe It's Not Metal | I Can't Believe It's Not Murder I Can't Believe It's Not The Illuminati | iCan't Believe It's Not iPod | I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green | I Can't Believe It's Not Terrorism | I Can't Believe It's Not Existent | I can't believe it's not Liberalism! |I Can't Believe It's Not Funny | I Can't Believe It's Not A Hyperlink

Do take note of the plentiful varieties of

Holy Scripture

out there in various religions...

Judaism and Christianity Torah Bible New Cooler Edition Rick James Version Revised Liberal Edition Revised Neocon Edition Bible 2

Islam Quran Q'whatever Duran Duran

Hinduism Vedas Bhagavad Gita

Buddhism The Sutras Well, all right, we know you only care about the Kama Sutra, pervert

Blah Family Tree

Blah Blah (Sr.) Blah (Jr.)

Blah Politics

Blah States Blah Clinton

Other Blah

Blah! The Blah Language Blahgle Blahoo!

v • d • e •••••Your Guide To Cannibalism•••••

Albert Fish • Alfred Packer • ALIVE! • Baby Eating • Baby farming • Baby food • Baby Meat • Baby recipes • Cannibal Corpse • Cannibalism • Cannibals • Celebrity Roast • Dinner Party • Fine Young Cannibals • Hannibal Lecter • HowTo Cook A Human • HowTo Cook Children • Human head • I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green • New Zealand • Recipes • Soylent Green • UnNews Cannibals Stopped • UnNews New TV Trend • UnNews Soylent Green Defamation • Why? Don't Be A Cannibal • Vore • Why? Eat People • Zombies • Zombie Types• Meaty Amin

The Christio-Religio Ladderal Hiearchy
	Top Rung, the Holy Trinity: God, Jesus, & the Holy Spirit, opposed by Satan Middle Rung, the Holy Triforce: Gosh, Jeez, & the Holy Ghost, opposed by Stan After a few drinks: Daddyo, Laddyo, & The Spook Bottom Rung, the Holy Tripod: Gah, Jesús, & the Holy Rock, opposed by Santa Fell off the Ladder: Goo, Jazz, and Hollywood, opposed by Stalin

v • d • e People named "Captain"

America - Archer - Arrogant - Awesome - Beefheart - Britain - Canada - Caveman - Charisma - Cook - Courageous - Crunch - D - Denial - Exaggeration - Feathersword - Falcon - Fishcake - Hook - Jack - Jack Sparrow - Janeway - Jesus - Kirk - Lamberton - Marvel - Marvel (other) - Morgan - N - Oblivious - Obvious - Omnipotent - Picard - Planet - Raccoon - Sarcasm - Scarlet - Selfish - Slow - Ultra - Understatement - Video

   v • d • e

Your Comprehensive Automotive Reference Source

For many miles of motoring pleasure, manufacturers recommend Uncyclopedia for information to keep your car in top running condition!
Reference guides	Accessories · Cartoon · HowTo:Avoid speeding tickets/fines · How To ...Drive . HowTo:Crash Your Dad's New Corvette · Highway 404 · Is a 1982 Mitsubishi Colt better than a Bugatti Veyron? · Red light · Reverse parking championship · Ricer · Stunt Driver's License · Top Gear
Maintenance	Airbags · Mufflers · Tyre Pressure · Blinker fluid
Motorsport	· Formula One · Formula Floor · MotoGP . NASCAR · Drag · Grand Prix · V8 Supercars
Car industry	Abraham Lincoln · Autocracy · Salespeople · DMV · Dealerships · Disposable car · Gerald Ford · Henry Ford · New car smell · Panzy Porsche · Roadkill · Choosing your car insurance
Manufacturers	Acura · Aston Martin · Audi · BMW · Cadillac · Citroën · Crapmobile · Datsun · DeLorean · Dodge · Ferrari · Fiat · Ford · General Motors · Holden · Honda · Hyundai · Jeep · JI Motor Company · KrAZ · Lada · Land Rover · Lexus ·Loyola· Lincoln · Maserati · Maybach · Mazda · Mercedes-benz · Mercury · Mini · Mitsubishi · Mitsubishie · Oldsmobile · Perodua · Peugeot · Plymouth · Pontiac · Porsche · Proton. Rambler · Saab . Saturn (automobile) · Saturn ·Škoda · Toyota · Trabant . Transformers . Ural . Vauxhall . Volkswagen · Volvo · Vulva · Uncyclopedia Motors · Willys
Vehicles	Anus · Audi S4 · Batmobile · Bennett buggy· Camaro · Car · Corvette · Chrysler Reliant . Civic · Dacia Logan · Dan Rather · Eagle Talon . Edsel · El Camino . Escort · Excursion · Fiero · Ford Model T · Fury . Herbie · Hummer · Ice cream truck · Impala · Jeepney · KITT · Lamborghini . Landcruiser · Moveable Type · Neon · Noodles · Optimus Prime · Panda · Pimpmobile · Pinto · Popemobile · Prelude · PT Cruiser · Rabbit · Road Rover . Shaggin' Wagon ·Slab· Smart Car · Starlet Glanza · SUV · Tesco Value Ferrari . TVR · Volkswagen Borat · Willy on Wheels · Zamboni · Prius · Worst 100 Cars of All-Time

CHART OF PRIMARY COLOURS – Colours – Colors

Brown Red Orange Gold Yellow Olive Green Cyan Blue Indigo Purple Violet Pink Black Gray/Grey Silver White

C R I M E S

Arson · Asexuality · Assassination · Baby Eating · Baby-snatching · Battery · Being a fat Gnome · Being You · Bestiality ·Blarging· Burglary · Cannibalism · Cat Juggling · Cats with guns · Cereal Killing · Child abuse · Child porn · Clown rape · Conspiracy · Contributing to Wikipedia · Copyright infringement · Cow arson · Cow tipping · Crime · Crimethink · Cyber Terrorism Christianity· Deicide · Dick Cheney · Dog Fighting · Eating friends · Evil · Extreme Sarcasm · Fun · Gambling · Genocide · Grand Theft Auto · Hacking into a Computer · Hate · Hatespeech · Hating Quails · Hannah Montana · Heresy · Heterosexuality · Home Invasion · Homosexuality · Huffing · Hugging While On Fire · Human sacrifices · Illegal Immigration · Incest · Insult sword fighting · Kleptomania · Living · Looting · Lynching · Mass murder · Masturbation · Murder · Nigerian letter · Pedophilia · Piracy · Pornography · Psychological Torture · Racism · Rape · Rioting · Robbery · Satanism · Scams · Scientology · Serial Killing · Shoplifting · Smoking · Sodomy · Stalking · Stealing · Suicide · Nigger · Suspicious Eyeball Movements · Tag-team burglary · Taking candy from strangers · Terrorism · Tittyfuck rape · The touch eachother song · Torture · Trafficking · Treason · UberKilling · Ultra-violence · Urban exploration · Violence · Virginity · Weed · Witchcraft · Wire tapping· You Existing Crimes inspired by video games · Great Train Robbery · I Can't Believe it's Not Murder · Phishing · The Great Bank Robbery · The Most Dangerous Game · The Perfect Murder · Vandalism · UnMysteries:J'accuse · UnMysteries:A Tissue Of Lies · UnMysteries:The Disappearance of The Last Cookie · UnMysteries:The Mysterious Affair at the World War Two Convention

This box: view • talk • edit Rich Uncle Pennybags

[ v • d • e ]

Your UnComprehensive Guide to the D.C. Universe

	The heroes, villains, and other people of DC Comics, from Crisis on Infinite Earths to Blackest Night (or at least according to whatever the latest retcon this week is) as compiled by Uncyclopedia!
Modern Age
Superheroes and heroines	Bat-Hound - Superman - Green Lantern - The Flash - Aquaman - Batman & Robin - Batman (Eric Matthews) - Wonder Woman - Supergirl - Batgirl - Wonder Girl - Superboy - Nightwing - Raven - The Shrubbery - The Beefeater - Lobo - Lobo the Duck - Lois Lane - Jimmy Olsen - Rorschach
Supervillains	Lex Luthor- Poison Ivy- Two-Face - Fred Phelps - Darkseid - Black Adam - The Penguin - Weather Channel Wizard - The Riddler -The Scarecrow- Black Manta- The Joker - Batman's Rogue's Gallery - Hellboy
Justice League of America	Max Lord - Martian Manhunter - Booster Gold - Blackman - Captain Ultra - Huntress Thompson - Iro Man
Other teams	American Justice Coalition - The Batmen of All Nations -Guild of Calamitous Intent - Justice League - Justice League Europe - Justice League of Jesus - Ronald Reagan's Justice League of America - League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen - The Watchmen - Jason and the Argonauts
Golden Age
Superheroes and heroines	Golden Age Superman - Human Lantern - The Human Croissant - Super Soldier - Iron Lantern - Dark Claw - Sandmaiden
Justice Society of America	George Lazenby - Daniel Craig - Aqua Mariner - Jennifer Lopez - Rocky Balboa - Judge Reinhold - Captain Marvel - Captain Planet - Shining Knight
The Injustice Society	Dr. Phil - Lex Luthor - Oscar Wilde - Oprah Winfrey - Bizarro - Don Imus
Other teams	Founding Fathers - American Justice Coalition - Manhattan Project - New American Justice Coalition - Apollo Project - Secret Wars - Challengers of the Fantastic - Society of Underdeveloped Crime-fighters

1760s - 1890s - 1900s - 1910s - 1920s - 1930s - 1940s - 1950s - 1960s - 1970s - 1980s - 1990s - 2000s

	v • d • e Divinatory Arts and Artists
	Antropomorphing | Astrology | Augury | Ball gazing | Clairvoyance | Dice | Fortune cookies | Magic 8-Ball | Monopoly | Necromancy | Negromancy | Nostradamus | Numerology | Palmistry | Phrenology | Precognition | Prophecy | Psychic | Scatomancy | Tarot | Telepathy | Wheel of Fortune

Dude...
Dude, Where Art Mine Horse and Carriage? ~ Dude, Where's My Time Machine? ~ Dude, Where's My Toilet?

Elementary Particles

Proton - Muon - Bozo - Graviton - Gluon - Quark - Electron - Photon - Moron - Neutrino - Gayon - Darkon - Unobtainium - Ballmiton - Crouton - Tachyon - Tron - Badger - Sauron - Roricon - Spork - Hardon - Onion - Galvatron

The End of Everything

End | The End | End of History | End of time | End of the internet | End of Earth | When the world blows up | End of the world |

Grand Theft Auto
Games
The Lost Games	Angry Asian Kid Stories | Lego Island | Cosmo | Poop City | Tatooine | Television City | Television City 2 | Television City 3 - The Wrath Of Dob | Borat vs Bush
Grand Theft Auto III era	III | San Andreas | Advance | San Andreas Stories | Bikini Bottom Stories
Grand Theft Auto: We're Running Out of Ideas era	New Zealand | Toronto | Hill Valley | Theft Under A Thousand | Sunnyvale Trailer Park | Baghdad | Beirut | New Orleans | Vatican City | Vatican City Stories | Springfield | Australia | Antarctica | Somalia
Currently in Production	Afghanistan | Baghdad Stories | Jerusalem | Norway | Philippines | Santiago | Venice |
Non-canonical	Grand Theft Audio | Grand Theft Election: Bush v. Gore
Spin-Off Anime Version	Grand Theft Auto: Disgaea | Braveheart with Ash Ketchup

 

Rooms In Your House
Bedroom • Living Room • Guest Room • Kitchen • Bathroom • Attic • Closet • Basement

Interweb-§p3@k

1337 - AFAIK - AOL - ASL - B4 - BBQ - BF - BRB - BYOB - CYA - ESAD - Ew - FOAD - G2G - GF - GG - HAX - HAXOR - IDK - IMO - JK - Lmao - LOL - Lolgasm MILF - MSN - n00b - Nuff - OMG - OMGWTF - OMGWTFBBQ - OWNED - PWNED - ROFL - ROFLWAFFLES - ROTFL - RTFM - STFU - TTYL - U - WEIRD FONT - W00T - WTF - WWJD - XD - ZOMG

Table of Contents
iPod nano 200gb, for the Real Music Lover Before you start Open her up! Disassembly Jumper Settings Opening Up Let's get it together Desoldering Flash Attaching an ATA connector Attach your hard drive Results

		Interstate Highways to as High as I can Count
0	4	5	6	8	10	12	15	16	17	19	20	22	24	25	26	27	29
30	35	37	39	40	43	44	45	47	49	55	57	59	64	65	66	66 (W)
68	69	70	71	72	73	74	75	76 (W)		76 (E)		77	78	79	80	81	82
83	84 (W)		84 (E)		85	86 (W)		86 (E)		87	88 (W)		88 (E)		89	90
91	93	94	95	96	97	99	?	(238)		H-1		H-2		H-3
The Outsiders			A-1		A-2		A-3		A-4		PRI-1		PRI-2		PRI-3
Lists		Main - Auxiliary - Suffixed - Business - Proposed - Unsigned Gaps - Intrastate - Interstate standards - Replaced

	v • d • e The Jacksons
	Andrew Jackson | Bo Jackson | Daniel Jackson | Jack | Jackson Pollock | Jacksonville | Janet Jackson | Jerry Jackson | Jesse Jackson | La Toya Jackson | Michael Jackson | Peter Jackson | Randy Jackson | Samuel L. Jackson | Stonewall Jackson | Who The Fuck Is Jackson Pollock?

v • d • e

The So-So Company of Other Jesii

Fear their wrath, and beware their contrived names. If you are still confused about which one you want, you were probably much better off with Original Jesus.
Monster Jesii
Jesusaurus Rex: The tyrant Jesus...lizard	Save yourself from Werejesus!
DinoJesus: Nazareth Park is frightening in the dark	And they said Jesus rode on a Mule...Nyah!:Llama Jesus
Attack of the 500 foot Jesus: Demolishing non-blessed skyscrapers -- New York, watch out!	When there's no more room in Heaven...: Zombie Jesus
Jesus-Sonic: Lord and Savior of Hedgehogs and Sega gaming.	The multidimensional, Scientological king of rodents: King of the Shrews
Munchie Jesii
Jeez-Its: Orange, crunchy, and fun to eat! Get your own box.	Savour the Saviour: Cheese Jesus
Jesus Juice: An Energy Drink...that's Divine!	Oh, where have all the Jesii gone? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you: Hershey's Jesii and Creme
Jam Jesus: With a name like 'Jam Jesus', it has to be good.	Finally, something on a stick the whole family can enjoy!: Sweet Jesus on a Stick!
Mecha Jesii
Cyborg Jesus: Retrofit by God after death	Domo arigato, señor: Robot Jesus
JESUS 9000: "Open the Pearly Gates, JESUS." "I'm sorry, Dave, but I'm afraid I can't do that."	Gets your soul white, white, WHITE!: All-Purpose Jesus
Optijesus Prime: Saviour of the transformers

Jesus Related Locations.
Jesusland	Red States
Jesus Ocean	Israel

v • d • e MATH N' SHIT

People	Alan Turing · Amadeo Avogadro · Cauchy · Big Norman Mathematicians · Mathemagicians · Nerds · Asians
Fundamentals	Theorem · Proof
Tools	Abacus · Slide rule · Calculator · Ti-83 · Texas Instruments
Education	Intelligent Math · Bush Math · Extreme mathematics · Newmath · Nude math · Nu-Math · Rumsfeldian Mathematics · Racist Math
By Field:
Numerology	Numerology · Numbers · NUMB3RS · Zero · 9/11 · 0.999... · Pi equals exactly three · Pi · 4/0 · Property of 5 · Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia · Oodles · Infinity
Number Theory	First numbers · The largest number · Integer · Negative Numbers · Odd · Prime number · Fibonacci Sequence · Irrational numbers · Imaginary Number · Complex numbers · Gay Numbers · All numbers are equal to zero · Fermat's Penultimate Theorem · Fermat's Last Theorem
Arithmetic	Arithmetic · Addition · = · How to Divide by Zero · HowTo:Divide by One · The Quantity 2 plus 4 times y = Your Mom
Algebra	Pre-Algebra · Al Gebra · Linear Algebra · Linear Algebra in nature · Equation · Polynomial · Fourier Transform · Hilbert's Hotel
Geometry & Topology	Geometry · Bigonometry · Trigonometry · Sine · Fractal · Tangent · Cosine · Paradox (Achilles and the Tortoise) · Transcendental curve
Calculus	Calculus · Integral · Derivative · Vector calculus · Multivariable Calculus · Hairy ball theorem · Cauchy's theorem
Probability & Statistics	Statistics · Random Statistics · An infinite number of monkeys with typewriters
Logic & Computer Science	Logic · Boolean Logic · Binary Mathematics · Modal logic · Recursive · Monty Hall problem
Physics & Mathy Sciences	Laws of Physics · Principle of Least Action · Einstein's Malicious Theories

The six Magic Mystery Rangers With the power to unleash the Rosie O'Donnell Mark 2, and kick Ultra Jesus' butt
Mr. T: Ultra Magic Mystery Ranger	Magical Magic Mystery Ranger: Harry Potter
Godzilla: Über Magic Mystery Ranger	Spoiled Bitch Magic Mystery Ranger: Paris Hilton
Captain Crunch: Well Balanced Breakfast Magic Mystery Ranger	Robot Magic Mystery Ranger: Optimus Prime

Major League Baseball
AC	Northeast	Midwest	Pacific
	Baltimore Orioles	Chicago White Sox	Los Angeles Angels
	Boston Red Sox	Cleveland Indians	Oakland Athletics
	New York Yankees	Detroit Tigers	Seattle Mariners
	Tampa Bay Rays	Kansas City Royals	Texas Rangers
	Toronto Blue Jays	Minnesota Twins
NC	Atlantic Coast	Redneck Land	Far West
	Atlanta Braves	Chicago Cubs	Arizona Diamondbacks
	Florida Marlins	Cincinnati Reds	Colorado Rockies
	New York Mets	Houston Astros	Los Angeles Dodgers
	Philadelphia Phillies	Milwaukee Brewers	San Diego Padres
	Washington Nationals	Pittsburgh Pirates	San Francisco Giants
		St. Louis Cardinals

Me!!!!!!!

Me | ME | Scale (music)#Me | Windows Me

Alternative forms of me

You | U | Ü | You failed

	v • d • e Mommy's Medicine Cabinet
	Adderall | Aspirin | Beavers | Caffeine | Care Bear Heroin | Cheerios | Cocaine | Codeine | Coffee | Cracked Corn | Crystal Meth | Dexedrine | HeadOn | Kittens | LSD | Medicine | Mountain Dew | Opium | Prozac | Ritalin | Roofies | Side effects | The World's Most Powerful Drug | Tylenol | Valium | Viagra

Part of the Uncyclopedia series on Misery:

---

• Depression
• Pessimism
• Fear
• Pissed
• Suicide
• Apathy
• Give a shit
• Emo
• Hamlet
• Torture
• Death
• Hell
• Quitting
• Internal audit
• Calculus

---

The 12 Months of the Year:
January | February | March | April | May | June | July | August | |September | October | November | December

Persons named Moss

Kate Moss Randy Moss

Other Mosses

Moss

The Three Great Teachers of Neo-Confusionism
Big Bird   Abe Finkelstein   Neo
The Four Factions of Neo-Confusionism
Loxism   Creamcheesism   Poppyism   Sesameism

Nonsense on Uncyclopedia

AAAAAAAAA! | 01000010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 | -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . | Hex| EBG13 | Arfenhouse | I18n |  : :.` .`: `. ` ` ` | Backwards | Insert title here |  | 8.3 | Developers! | MD5 | Badger badger badger | Rolling your head on the keyboard | All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy |1337 | Ekrpat | Mmm MmmMmmmm | Buffalo | Beatboxing | My keyboard is missing its homerow | I just slam on the keyboard and magic happens | Lorem Ipsum | Brainfuck | Static | Contents (Nonsense) | Cluck! | Vandalism | N_ V_w_ls | Hard to read | Scat | There is no article here | 3.1415926535897932384626433832795 | Xicotencatl II Axayacatl | Pikachu

 

The Nuclear Family
CANQU | Nuclear Power | Backyard nuclear reactor | Nuclear reactor | Nuclear explosion | Nuclear weapons | Nuclear missile | Nuclear warfare Baseball-based nuclear weapons delivery system | Nuclear Vagueness

	∞ Ba									2 He
1 L	2 Be	3 Br	4 C	5 Nu		6 O	7 F	8 Ne	9 Ci	10 Je	-1 Po

Polish people, who are Satan's friends

Politics: Andrzej Lepper, Lech Kaczyński alias Kaczor, Lech Wałęsa Religious figures: Father Director Teddy Rydzyk Others: Grzegorz Rasiak

v • d • e All-American Role Models and Rejects

Aunt Jemima | Bob Saget |Bruce Campbell | Cap'n Crunch | Carrot Top | Cheese Jesus | Chuck Norris | Clint Eastwood | Count Chocula | Courtney Love | Eric Cartman | Hanson | Hillary Clinton | Joe Camel | John Travolta's Hair | Knight Rider | MacGyver | Mr. T | Napoleon Dynamite | Paris Hilton | Pillsbury Doughboy | Rainbow Brite | Renaldo Lapuz | Ronald McDonald | Sean Connery | Sarah Palin | Sloth | Timmy Turner | Titshugger Penishead McFucknutter | Trix Rabbit | Uncle Ben | Uncle Phil | Vanilla Ice | William Hung | Willy Wonka | Wonder Woman | Yogi Bear | Your Mom

Santacarnations

Santa Claus

Santa Clause

Satan Claus

Secret Santa

Future Santa

Robot Santa

Ku Klux Klaus

Do take note of the plentiful varieties of

Holy Scripture

out there in various religions...

Judaism and Christianity Torah Bible Bible 2 New Cooler Edition Revised Liberal Edition Revised Neocon Edition Rick James Version

Islam Koran Quran Q'whatever

Hinduism Vedas Bhagavad Gita, whatever that means

Buddhism The Sutras Well, all right, we know you only care about the Kama Sutra, pervert

The Senses

Sight | Smell | Touch | Taste | Nonsense | Sense | Sense of Proportion | Common sense

Famous Simpsons
Jessica Simpson	Homer Simpson
Oj da juiceman	OJ Simpson
Abe Simpson	Ashlee Simpson
The Simpsons	Lisa Simpson

Clash of the Titans
Pwned!	The Most Quotable Smackdown of All Time
Humor at Oscar Wilde's expense	I Am Your Father | Help A Brother Out

The Stuart Little Movie Series
Stuart Little | Stuart Little II | Stuart Little III | Willard
Stuart Little Miniseries (TV) | Stuart Little: Revenge Video Game

v • d • e Chicken Soup for the Eyes

Awesomesauce | Baby food | Beer nuggets | Big N' Tasty | Boogers | Butter | Caviar | Cheese | Chicken 2 | Corn | Cornbread | Cornflakes | Hammus | French bikinis | Fried Chicken | Fudge | Goa Tse | Hairy tacos | Hot Dog | Krispy Kreme | Macaroni | Meatloaf | Mushrooms | Mangos | Paint stripper | Penis | Pills | Pudding | Orange sherbet | Rice Pudding | Rocky Mountain Oysters | Sauce | Spam | Taco Hell | Turd burgers

v • d • e

Territory War Online Players from the World

Ex-Players:	Kim Possible - Sailor Moon - Nikola Šećeroski - Furby - Penguins - John McCain - Walt Disney - Jimbo Wales - Santa Claus - Professor Chaos - Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer - MC Lamchop
Beginners:	Osama bin Laden - Father Director Teddy Rydzyk - Rev Ian Paisley - Al-Qaida - Al Queda - Al-Qaeda - Al Pieda - Schnappi - Stevie Wonder - Kyle Broflovski - Ron Paul - Jesus - Satan - Jack Chick - Fred Phelps - Admiral Ackbar - Voltar - Dr. Frogg - User:DaMoleKing - Red Menace - Doomageddon
Faileds:	George Dubya Bush - Tony Blair - Fidel Castor - Emperor Palpatine - Bert - Dr. Evil - Dick Cheney - Yahoo - Jillian - Samuel L. Jackson - Karl Rove - Hugo Chávez - Kitty Cats - Napoleon I - Lo Pan - Generalisimo Severiano Javier Figueira Liste de Juncal de la Costa Trasmonte y Oroso - Saddam Hussein
Losers:	Michael Moore - Hannah Montana - Terror (country) - Sean Penn - Rosie O'Donnell - Tom Cruise - Lindsay Lohan - Giratina - Kerry Katona
Bosses:	Lenin - Joseph Stalin - CATS - Genghis Khan - Adam West - Adolf Hitler - Karl Marx - Nelson Mandela - Vodka - Adult Swim - Palkia- Black Gladiator- Black Cat Twins- Missing Link
Kings From Territory War Online:	9-Eleven - Eric Cartman - Ducks - Michael Howard-Bird Flu - Avian flu - Backstreet Boys - Bill Gates - Blofeld - International Mad Scientist Convention - James Hetfield - The Al Queda Network - Nigel - Tesco - Jihad★Mart - Wario - Terraists - Spork, Squirrels et al. - Kermit the Frog - Oprah - Dr. Nefarious - Irkens - Goldfinger - Zimmi - Invader Zim - French culture - French people - French language - Cyborg Zim - Irken Empire - Butters Stotch - Republican Zim - Bat Villains - Chairman Drek - Ronald McDonald - Stewie Griffin-Steve Ballmer - That Gay - Homsar - Skull and Bones - (The late) John O'Cahan - Skeletor - 4chan - Koopalings - Jimmy Neutron - Robot pirate ghosts - Baba the Turk - Meg Griffin - Mewtwo - Sharkboy - Mario - Bill O'Reilly - Hezbollah - Leonard Bernstein - Don Imus - Rush Limbaugh - Liberty Medical - Timmy Turner - Jack Thompson - Bubs Concession Stand - Blue Man Group - Bert Newton- Paul Bearer - Your mum - Bill Clinton - The Government - Adam Powell - PETA - Pillsbury Dough Boy - New England Patriots- Red Stripe Guy - Merfy McMerfmerfChris Chocola - Rampaging Warmongers - Zebra - Ghosts from Pacmen's Republic of Hong Kong
Ex-Kings:	Al Gore - Officer Ricky - You - Trent from Punchbowl

Holders of lion keys to Ultra Jesus

Black Ranger: George W. Bush | Green Ranger: Bill Gates | Blue Ranger: Jerry Falwell | Pink Ranger: Britney Spears | Red Ranger: Margaret Thatcher | Everything Else Ranger: Etc

Part of a series of articles on

Christianity

History of Christianity Jesus The Apostles Ecumenical councils Great Schism The Crusades Reformation

The Trinity God the Father The Son (Jesus Christ) The Holy Spirit

The Bible Old Testament New Testament Apocrypha The Gospels Ten Commandments Sermon on the Mount

Christian theology Fall of Man · Grace Salvation · Justification Christian worship

Christian Church Roman Catholicism Eastern Orthodoxy Protestantism Christian erudition Christian denominations Christian movements Christian ecumenism Christian scholastica Christian discourses

Important Figures Apostle Paul Church Fathers Augustine · Aquinas Wycliffe · Luther Calvin · Trammell Carver · Wesley Seaborg

Unix

Distributions

Linux - Arch | Debian | Fedora | Gentoo | Lindows | Linux (Only For Mac) | openSUSE | Red Hat | Rinux | Slackware | Ubuntu | Uncyclux | Xandros | Xubuntu BSD - FreeBSD | NetBSD | NetBDSM | OpenBSD Darwin - OSX | Tiger Solaris -Solaris

Applications and Documentation

Vi | Emacs | Firefox | GIMP | GNOME | GFDL | GPL | I18n | KDE | ls | man | man uncyclopedia | rm | TWM | X Window System

People and Organizations

Free Sockpuppet Foundation | GNU | St. Ignucius | SCO | Richard M. Stalin | Richard M Stallman vs. Linus Torvalds | Linus Torvalds | Tux

Video Game Wars

The Crusades English Civil War, Part 1 English Civil War, Part 2 English Civil War, Part 3 English Civil War, Part 4 American Revolution War of 1812 American Civil War Italo-Turkish War Balkan War World War I Spanish Civil War Mexican War for Independence World War II Cold War Korean War Viet Nam Bay of Pigs Munich Massacre Falklands War Invasion of Grenada Gulf War I Gulf War II September 11 Star Wars WMD The Great Ninjapiratezombierobot War China 1911-1949 News Daniel Brandt Axis and Allies Euroipods War Napoleonic Wars Fall Of The Roman Empire Willamette Zombie Outbreak Fisher Price War Waco Siege Trojan War Texas War for Independence Yugoslav Wars

In Development

Arctic War Arab-Israeli Conflict Thirty Years' War Mongol Wars English Civil War, Part 4 World War XX Russian Revolution Thailand expedition Alexander the Greats Campaigns 2008 Presidential Election

[ v • d • e ]

Your UnComprehensive Guide to the Marvel Universe

	The heroes, villains, and other people of Marvel Comics, from the creators of Stan Lee's Stripperella, and other Marvel classics as compiled by Uncyclopedia!
Superheroes and heroines	Captain Planet - The Amazing Fiber-Man - Spider-Woman - Mary Jane - The Incredible Hunk - The Scarlet Spider - Black Cat - Daredevil - Dr. Strange - Iron Man - The Punisher - Conan the Barbarian - Ghost Rider - Deadpool - Igloo - The other Captain Marvel - Bat-Hound - Stan Lee
Supervillains	Blackheart - Dr. Doom - Electro - Emperor Galactus of the World and Universe- Green Goblin - Juggernaut - Mecha-Dracula - Rob Liefeld - Batroc - Kool-Aid Man - Loki- The Hobgoblin- Fred Phelps- Blackout the Vampire - Venom - Hybasuku - Dr. Octopus - Spider-Man's Rogue's Gallery
X-Men	Professor X - Apocyclopse - Gene Grey - Beast - Wolverine - Bishop - Cable the Larry Guy - Northstar
Salacious Six	Sr. Tentacles - The Grand Mysterious R2-D2 Recolor - The Wang - Steve Irwin - Sabertooth
Other teams	The Revengers - The Fantastic Four - The Omnipotent Seven

Euroipods is A website giving away free ipods in return for

a) money
b) reffering freinds to do the same

Visit www.euroipods.com today for yours!

Part of Uncyclopedia's DIY Series of Self Help Articles

Microsoft Windows ®

Your money. Our passion.

• Detect "non-genuine" products

• Gather user information

• Cripple core system components

• Deploy legal team

• Launch civil litigation

Estimated time remaining:

Less than 1 min.

Installing Windows has never been easier easy

All you need to do is to phone your local Microsoft Customer Representative, write down a very long set of numbers, type it all in, get an error message, phone our Customer Representative again, adjust a few things, get another very long set of numbers, type it all in again, install a few drivers, activate Windows again, lather, rinse and repeat.

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MSNopoly
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This copy of Microsoft Windows is not activated.

v • d • e

The All-Time 100 Worst:

100. April Fools Jokes

99. Bands

98. Books (General)

97. Cars

96. Children's Books

95. Colours

94. Computer Games

93. Cryptic Crossword Clues

92. Direct-to-Video Movies

91. Diseases Your Ex-Wife Could Have

90. Evil Plans

89. Firefox extensions

88. Food

87. Football variants

86. Government Policies

85. Harry Potter Spin-off Novel Series

84. Hybrid Animals

83. Inventions

82. Lists

81. Locations

80. LOL Cats

79. Make Out Songs

78. Money Making Schemes

77. Movies

76. Nonexistent Words

75. Numbers

74. Nutty Conspiracy Theories

73. Overused Star Trek Episode Plots

72. Pick-up lines

71. Planets

70. Pokemon Cash-Ins

69. Porn Movies

68. Porn Stars

67. Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks

66. Reasons to become a Christian

65. Reflections on 2005

64. Reflections on 2006

63. Reflections on 2007

62. Reflections on 2008

61. Reflections on 2009

60. Rejected Harry Potter Novels

59. Remakes

58. Restaurants

57. Ringtones

56. Self Help Books

55. Sequels

54. Sexual Perversions

53. Short Poems

52. Sitcom Catchphrases

51. Songs

50. Songs about Seagulling

49. Songs Referencing Paedophilia

48. Songs To Have Sex To

47. Sonic Cash-ins and Characters

46. Spinoffs

45. Suicide Ideas

44. Superheroes

43. Things

42. Things About the '00s

41. Things to do during Christmas

40. Things to Put In An IV

39. Things To Say In Court

38. Things to Say in the Workplace

37. Things to say on a First Date

36. Things to Stick your Dick in

35. Toys

34. TV Programs

33. Uncyclopedia In-Jokes

32. Video Game Movies

31. Video Game Systems

30. Ways of Being a Dick

29. Ways to be Circumcized

28. Ways to Deliver Bad News

27. Ways to Die (Best)

26. Ways to Die (Worst)

25. Ways to Kill Sarah Connor

24. Ways to Start a Novel

23. Ways to Win an Argument

22. Wonders of the World

21. Top 100 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On

20. Ways To Be Castrated

19. Sounds

[view • discuss • edit]

Your UnComprehensive Guide to the World of Professional Wrestling

The heroes, villains, and other people of Pro Wrasslin', from Vince McMahon's Fucked Up Wrasslin' Vol 1 to WWE Smackup: Roid Rage as compliled by the world's biggest mark!
WWF	Hulk Hogan - The Ultimate Warrior - Roddy Piper - Andre the Giant - Big Boss Man - █████ - Steve Austin - The Rock - Triple H - Batista - Mick Foley - Chris Jericho - Kurt Angle - Ken Shamrock - Wayne Brady - Ken Kennedy - The Hardy Boys - Edge & Christian
WCW	David Arquette - Dennis Rodman - Vinnie Vegas - Lex Luger - Private Stash - G.I. Bro - Big Poppa Pump - The Fake Sting - Four Norsemen - n.W.o
Ring of Honor	Jack Bauer - A.J. Styles - Mudkips - Koko B. Ware
Legends	Larry the Cable Guy - Albert Einstein - The Quantum Caper - Carrie Fisher - Oprah Winfrey - Darth Vader - Maggie Thatcher - Adolf Hitler - Robert Bork - Tiny Tim - Crazy Larry - Secret Asian Man - Kinnikuman - The Boogeyman - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama - Axis of Power
Female wrestlers	Cameron Diaz - Kelly - Christy Hemme - Stacy Keibler - Trish Stratus - Traci Brooks - Nipple H
Others	Ed McMahon - Dave Meltzer - Gorilla Monsoon - Cardinal Jesse Ventura - Paul Bearer
Promotions	Kapoutland Pro Wrestling - NWA: Total Nonstop Action - World Wide Championship Extreme Wrestling Entertainment Federation
Events	The Great American Ho-down - No Way Out - Unwhoregiven - SmackDown!
Misc.	Professional wrestling slang - Steroid abuse - Beating your wife

This Zork room is a slapdash job. The Dungeon Master must've hired those lazy non-union gnomes again. You can help the Dungeon Master by spraying it with Grue Repellant.

George Bushes

George Bush George W. Bush John McCain George Dubya Bush George H. W. Bush George H. W. W. H. Bush George W.W.W. Bush George W.W.F. Bush George W.T.F. Bush George W.W.J.D. Bush George W.W.2. Bush George W.W.3. Bush George W. Bush II: Champion Edition

Other Bushes

Adolf W. Hitler Barbara Bush Jeb Bush Laura Bush Kate Bush Pubes Burning Bush Reggie Bush Carlin Bush

Related Links

George W Bush Chronicle

Hitler in General

Hitler (disambiguation) Hitlers Category

Persons named Hitler

Adolf Hitler Adolf Hitler, Jr. Clown Hitler Emo-Hitler Barney Hitler Gandhitler Rudolph the red nose Hitler

Other Hitlers

UK Hitler Channel Attack of the 50ft Hitler Hadolf Itler The Hitler Book Darth Hitler

Imitation Hitlers

I Can't Believe It's Not Hitler Certificate of Hitlertude Evil Illuminati Adolf Hitler Clone Society Adolf Hilter

Could be Hitler (due to vowel orthogonality)

Paris Hilton Friedrich Nietzsche George Dubya Bush This Guy

view • discuss • edit

Dead Kennedys

Jack Kennedy

Live Kennedys

Ted Kennedy Schwarzekennedy John Effkendee Mr. Kennedy

Anti-Kennedys

Richard M. Nixon Lee Harvey Oswald

	v • d • e Political Parties
	Communist Party ~ Conservatory Party ~ Decepticon Party ~ Fascist Party ~ Independent Party ~ Labour Party ~ Lemon Party ~ Predacon Party ~ Whig Party

The Great Revolutions
Dance Dance Revolution - American Revolution - Industrial Revolution - Russian Revolution - Nike Revolution - French Revolution

World Wars

I | I 1/2 | II | II Divided by 0 | III | IV | 4 1/2 | V | VI | VII | VIII | X | XI | XII | XXI | ∞

The Second World War II | World War π | World War Revolution | World War Collectors Boxset | The Video Game | The Sequel to the Video Game | The Board Game | World War What | World War Craft

This article is part of the series Politics of the United States

Federal government The Constitution

Emperor

Congress - Senate - House of Representatives Supreme Court Even Supremer Court Supremes Court

President - Vice President - Cabinet Speaker of the House Senate Majority Leader Chief Justice

Elections - Presidential elections - Midterm elections

Political Parties - Decepticons - Predacons

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Prime Ministers of Canada
Macdonald | Mackenzie | Abbott | Thompson | Bowell | Tupper | Laurier | Borden | Meighen | King | Bennett | St. Laurent | Diefenbaker | Pearson | Trudeau | Clark | Turner | Mulroney | Campbell | Chrétien | Martin | Harper

  [ v • d • e ]

Organizations Running The New World Order Conspiracy

Aliens • Armenians • European Union • Evil Atheist Conspiracy • Evil Illuminati Adolf Hitler Clone Society • Flemish Movement • Fourth Reich • Freemasons • Goa Tse Clan • Grand Conspiracy • Gypsies • Hanso Foundation • Illuminati • International House of Pancakes • International Mad Scientist Convention • International Monetary Fund • Killer Robot Janitor • Large Hadron Collider • Orde Baru (Indonesia) • Protocols of the Elders of Zimmerman • Secret World Government • SPON • Skull and Bones • Trilateral Commission • United Nations • World Trade Organization • Zionists Anonymous

United States Presidential Elections
1800 • 1840 • 1948 • 1960 • 1972 • 2008  See also: HowTo:Win a Presidential Election in the USA • Political advertising

Indian cities
Bangalore • Bombay • Calcutta • Chandigarh • Delhi

Commonwealth of Independent States - Former USSR Republics

Russia ~ Belarus ~ Ukraine ~ Estonia ~ Latvia ~ Lithuania ~ Moldova / Moldavia ~ Mordovia ~ Armenia ~ Azerbaijan ~ Georgia ~ Kazakhstan ~ Kyrgyzstan / Krgystan ~ Mongolistan ~ Ghettoistan ~ Tajikistan ~ Turkmenistan ~ Uzbekistan ~ other Stan countries ~ Alaska ~ Israel ~ Lipsonia ~ Soviet Britain

Geographic Regions of the United States
Northeast | Midwest | South | West

Earth's Continents

Africa Antarctica Asia Atlantis Australia Boobs Caucasia Central America Europe Euthanasia Master Asia North America Rosie O'Donnell South America Super Asia Your mom (she's so fat)

The World

Oceania Eurasia Eastasia Disputed Area

	Central America and South America
	Central: Belize | Costa Rica | El Salvador | Guatemala | Honduras | Kittenolivia | Mexico | New Mexico | Nicaragua | Panama | Panama Canal Zone
	South: Argentina (en español) | Bolivia | Brazil (em português) | Republic of Bulimia | Cat Nation | Catspace | Chile (en español) | Colombia (en español) | Easter Island | Ecuador (en español) | Falkland Islands | French Guiana | Galapagos Islands | Guyana | Locombia | Paraguay | Peru (en español) | Seahorsia | Suriname | Uruguay (en español) | Venezuela (en español)

The Seven Directions of Travel:

North

East

Home

West

South

Milky Way

Far Far Away

The Great Lakes

Lake Erie - Lake Superior - Lake Champlain - Lake Michigan - Lake Ontario - Lake Huron

The Not-so-Great Lakes

Lake Titicaca - Lake Spooky - Lake Champlain

Earth's Eleven Oceans

Atlantean Ocean ~ Atlantic Ocean ~ Billy Ocean ~ Boiling Pitch Ocean ~ Indian Ocean ~ Martian Ocean

Mediterranean ~ Ocean Connery ~ Pacific Ocean ~ Phlegmatic Ocean ~ Russian Ocean